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Okay, so I am TOTALLY at my wits end. I'm just not a gentle discipliner by nature and I don't know what to do...

dd is 3 (last month) and has always been very *spirited* (is that the word for a highly strong willed child?). See if this seems normal to you (btw, she has a new baby brother who is 2.5 months and may contribute to this, BUT some of this behavior started before he arrived...)

Our day:

- Wake up
- try to poke the baby in the eyes, lay on him with all our weight or use our flattened palms like a vice on his head. (honestly, I do my best to protect him but feel bad because SOMETIMES she is gentle..)
- scream and yell if we try to change her wet pants from overnight
- have a hissy fit b/c we need to leave the house
- spend time in our room after being told repeatedly that the above behaviors are unacceptable
- leave the house and become embarrased by the temper tantrums she throws wherever we go or in front of whomever we're visiting
- spend time on the steps in time out

getting the gist??! I've tried spending one on one time with her without the baby in hopes that maybe it's attention she's seeking. She's good when it's just us, but reverts in a nanosecond of there being more than just us. I'm just at my wits end, have little/no patience due to sleep deprivation (I guess? I don't feel tired.. ?). But, her behavior is getting worse, not better. I just can't handle her anymore. What do I do? I admit to allowing her tv and videos (which I have just packed up into a box) and over-indulging her with toys over the years (again, just packed them up with the exception of a few favorites or learning toys). I think she's easily over stimulated and feels like her world hit a roller coaster since ds's arrival.

I just feel horrible; I love my dd to pieces, but I just really dislike her right now.

Any help, sympathy, empathy, suggestions.. ANYTHING?? I'm drowning!

TIA!
 

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I just reada book that has helped me with strong-willed/spirited DD not really GD apparently but made sense to me and was recommended here, called Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child : Eliminating Conflict by Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/076...lance&n=283155

Also flower remedies and homeopathy help a lot, like Bach Flowr Holly for jealousy and Chamomilla for tantrums. Rescue Remedy for everyone and Vne, Cherry Plu for being dominant and losing control easily (DD!).
 

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For some reason, I have been hearing all over the place about how difficult 3's are and how no one talks about that or prepares for it. If the search functions are back up, you might just want to look for old threads and you can start to convice yourself that it is, in fact, true that 3 is way harder than people say.

Have you read "The Happiest Toddler on the Block"? It's kind of hokey in the writing style, but there is a lot of truth in there about what types of behavior and development toddlers are going through. For me, I've always found that the first step to making changes and becoming less stressed about my child is to find out what they really are capable of doing at each age and what I can really expect. Once I realize where they are coming from, I can work with that and I don't feel so bad when I can say "Yes, this is hard/frustrating/embarassing, but it's normal and it will pass and until then I have to do the best I can."

Good luck!
 

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I am so there with you! I have been wondering where my sweet, loving, cooperative little boy is. Everyone always asked us how it was going at 2, and it was pretty darn good compared to this being 3 stuff. Ugh! I wish I could offer a magic bullet but this is the best I can do. When things get really bad I offer him a bubble bath (the Tired/Cranky formula from California Baby...expensive but sooo worth it). I also try to make sure I get enough sleep, because everything seems much worse if I am sick or tired. I know that is hard with a new baby but even if you have to have someone watch thekids while you take a big nap at a friend's house, it is worth it. And then we have started spending a lot of time together reading and talking about emotions and how to deal with them when they seem overwhelming.

Hang in there. I am trying to also. Thankfully yesterday and today have been delightful after 2 weeks from he**.

Kris
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by alexsam
For some reason, I have been hearing all over the place about how difficult 3's are and how no one talks about that or prepares for it. If the search functions are back up, you might just want to look for old threads and you can start to convice yourself that it is, in fact, true that 3 is way harder than people say.

Have you read "The Happiest Toddler on the Block"? It's kind of hokey in the writing style, but there is a lot of truth in there about what types of behavior and development toddlers are going through. For me, I've always found that the first step to making changes and becoming less stressed about my child is to find out what they really are capable of doing at each age and what I can really expect. Once I realize where they are coming from, I can work with that and I don't feel so bad when I can say "Yes, this is hard/frustrating/embarassing, but it's normal and it will pass and until then I have to do the best I can."

Good luck!
The Happiest Toddler . ..says the terrible 2's happen around 18 months but there is another period right before the 3rd birthday that is actually more intense. So, your little one is reaching is milestones just on cue!! (Mine, too
).
 
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