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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
good news (figured we could all use some around here..)<br><br>
my 1st tri screening for trisomy 18 and downs actually came back screen negative (that is good) why this was such a shock is that i was told that just by virtue of plugging my age (42) into the formula it would make it screen pos most certainly. Screen pos meant that I would have the same or higher risk as an average 35 yr old to birth a baby with one of the above conditions.<br><br>
soooo my screen neg means that my measurements were so "favorable" that it overcame my age and gave me a screen neg!<br><br>
The best part is that I won't have to go to the mat with DH about getting an amnio.. DH can't even TRY to make me now (not that he would have been able to... but it would have been ugly)!! yay!<br><br>
Now if I can just stop being so sick and tired!<br><br>
Laura
 

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Yay Laura!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/jumpers.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="jumpers">: So happy for you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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That's awesome Laura!!! I always refuse all those tests, so I can honestly say I don't really understand what they test for. But it sounds like you couldn't have gotten any better results!
 

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Were I to be 42 and suddenly preggers, I could see why I would want to test. The hubby was already concerned this time and I am only 31, but we've chosen to not test for anything. Could be my downfall <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
So this is great news!!!! Congrats on the negative! Now get feeling better.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>scheelimama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8004333"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">That's awesome Laura!!! I always refuse all those tests, so I can honestly say I don't really understand what they test for.</div>
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I, personally, am in the camp of terminating a pregnancy that would result in a child who didn't start out with the best odds. I know it seems cruel, but I could see myself resenting taking care of a child for more than the 'prescribed' 18-22 years. I think I might be in a small camp, though.
 

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Congratulations!!!! That's fantastic news <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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Great news! I'm looking forward to getting my results back soon!
 

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Thats such a blessing! Hubbys mother had him at 43 and he is PERFECT! We want babies when we are in our 40's as well! Thanks for the hope! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Very happy for you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Miny20</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8004403"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I, personally, am in the camp of terminating a pregnancy that would result in a child who didn't start out with the best odds. I know it seems cruel, but I could see myself resenting taking care of a child for more than the 'prescribed' 18-22 years. I think I might be in a small camp, though.</div>
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The camp is larger than you think.. I think ,for me, it would depend on the nature of the condition and the severity but , most likely, I would have termed a fetus with any significant "issues" , I refused ALL testing with Evan at 36 thinking "bring it on God" but we went thru and are going thru soooo much with his autism I just *know* that I/we could not handle another spec needs child at this point in our lives, I just don't think it would be fair to my existing kids or to my husband or myself and I *know* my marriage could not survive it (it was close a few x's with evan) divorce rate is over 80 percent in families of autistic kids..<br><br>
I was very oppposed to amnio but that is more for risk of testing as well as my Rh neg (and would refuse rhogam) teh non invasive tests were OK with me, I think the two us I already had plus the blood was enough but DH wanted teh really detailed extra us so we comprimised and I did the 1st tri screen,, we are so thankful all looks well.. now we are left praying everything else is OK and we dodge the odds with the autism this time around<br><br>
so, no need to defend your position, it is a very personal decision that should be respected no matter what a mom chooses
 

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contrats ont eh good test<br><br>
you are a brave woman for even taking the test. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I am 35 now -- that oh so majic age of AMA -- and OB, very nice man, spent 40 minues with Dhand I going over ALL the tests avaiabel, what excatly they test for, how they test for it, the risks to the baby -- and he followed my lead, or maybe it is jsut him, and was already calling it a baby -- you know a blood test on mom has no risk to the babay and so on).........and he went over what the results of each test would actually MEAN (precent chance, not a real yes or no, or an actual y/n and so on....)<br><br>
We chose to refuse all testing again this pregancy -- we will do US for physical deformities (DN had a blockage foundin his last US to check for placement, and was able to have it fixed after birth without waiting for him to get sick and have to diagonos it them)....and cuz i think they are FUN.<br><br>
Dh and I agreed -- no matter that the numbers of the % or the odds our statement would be the same. the only tests that really TELL you anything, risk the baby, somehting we would not choose to do no matter how low the risk (this is us and i know it is not the right choice for everyone).....and the tests ddon't matter, we will not terminate, we have a 2nd child, we were giving this child 13 weeks ago yesterday. this 2nd child is no differnt than Theo who is trying as i writ this to climb up on the table cuz i took a ruler (i have NO clue how he GOT a rules) away form him and he wants it back. Agin, this is us, and I certainly know that every family is differnt. we figure why test, why risk the baby, when we won't effect the baby based on the results anyway ???<br><br>
We are chooseing to have this our last planned pregancy -- now if a suprise popps up later we will welcome that child with as much joy as these two) that decision has more to do with us not wanting DH to age out of adoption options, rather an my birthig age even for one or 2 more.......<br><br>
I am so glad the test came out welland you and DH are not placed in a place of conflict over more testing.<br><br>
AImee
 

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I just got the results back of my first trimester testing (a combination ultrasound and blood test -<br><a href="http://www.med.unc.edu/obgyn/spotlight/march04MFM/march04MFM.html" target="_blank">http://www.med.unc.edu/obgyn/spotlig...arch04MFM.html</a> - is this the same thing you had, Laura?) and the results also came back screen negative! They didn't recommend any other testing except the 2nd trimester ultrasound which we have scheduled in about 5 weeks.<br>
Hooray!
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
we were adamant about not terming for ANY reason when we were pg with Evan but now that I already have a spec needs child it has changed how I think (and being older and not planning more.... affects as well) I never thought I would even consider terming for "problems" until we had Evan so I understand how people can not even imagine ever doing it (I couldn't before) but life comes along, and thoughts and feelings change for some people under certain circumstances.. it is weird.. I never expected to feel that way but I had a voluntary term (read abortion) at one point and I SWORE never again and had great regrets etc etc but Evan really changed my thought process.. of course this is just me.. everyone is so different.. I just don't think I am a strong enough or "good" enough person to voluntarity and knowingly take on something like Trisomy 18.. tough stuff..
 

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Laura<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">we were adamant about not terming for ANY reason when we were pg with Evan but now that I already have a spec needs child it has changed how I think (and being older and not planning more.... affects as well) I never thought I would even consider terming for "problems" until we had Evan so I understand how people can not even imagine ever doing it (I couldn't before) but life comes along, and thoughts and feelings change for some people under certain circumstances.. it is weird.. I never expected to feel that way but I had a voluntary term (read abortion) at one point and I SWORE never again and had great regrets etc etc but Evan really changed my thought process.. of course this is just me.. everyone is so different.. I just don't think I am a strong enough or "good" enough person to voluntarity and knowingly take on something like Trisomy 18.. tough stuff..</td>
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My post was certainly NOT man as a contaryon YOU -- and I am sooooooo truely sorry, my heart aches, if you felt it was in any way. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
We all live differnt lives, both from each other and differnt today than it was 5 years ago or will be in 5 years for us within our own lives as well.<br><br>
I am not 42, and I am not already rasieing and pouring my heart in to a SN child, nor do i personally have medical issues that would risk my life to carry this child to term.<br><br>
DH and I are in a place in our lives, age wise, family wise and health wise where we can accpet whatever we are offereed at this point, no matter what it is. and we knew gentically speaking our risks were low before TTC -- or we would not have TTC -- OUR PERSONAL CHOICE.<br><br>
In 5 years, after this child is born ... who knows where we will stand, or what differnt options we will choose to, or be foreced to, consider.....<br><br>
I saw a PBS thing on Mormons last night -- not to start any reglisous debate -- family had 7 kids, wife had a lot of medical issues and pregancay related issues and was i think older (like you <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> ). they chose to have baby 8 and wife died -- leaving dad with 8 kids one of which was a new born. he felt peace because it was really what his wife wanted, she knew that 8th child was theirs. however I had to tell DH if i was that wife i would never have had that 8th child and left him to raise all our kids alone.........that decision worked for them, they had peace with it..... i could not have peace with the same decision............................<br><br>
I never meant to insutl you, or question you. I was stateing where WE are in our lives at this point, and why we chose not to accept the test insirence would pay for due to my age.<br><br>
I have nothing but rspect for you Laura. I am very relieved you are not beig put in that place to make such a tough choice.<br><br>
Aimee
 
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