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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
If you use text messages with your ex, how do you document it? Also, is this actually considered "proof" enough to use-I doubt this particular issue would come up in court, but you never know. Is backing up my texts to email good enough?

I offered and ex accepted that he take the 4th this year and I'll take next year, even though technically I have odd years and he has even. It falls in the middle of his weekend, the kids are already excited because they made plans with him, and frankly it's not something I feel super strongly about, so I'd rather the kids not have their weekend interrupted and have to go back and forth so much. But, the 4th will fall on my regular day next year, so I do want to make sure it's documented that he agreed to trade.
 

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I use email for any big changes or agreements.

If something is mentioned in text (which it rarely is since I just won't talk about anything important in text) OR in person, I follow up with an email to confirm and/or clarify. This is partly because XH has a horrible memory and I often have to forward old email conversations to remind him of what was agreed to =P
 

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What do you mean by backed up to email?

Check out one of my last post in the divorce document care thread. I think the first step is to contact your cellular provider and find out what info they save and how you can access it. In my case I am with a provider that only keeps the date/time/number. So I think it is important to take a photo of the text and email it to yourself as soon as it is received - to cross reference with the provider's date/time records so it appears more authentic.

My xh has taken to using i-message (i-phone), instead of text message, and he is playing some sort of game to obfuscate communications. So I have extra work in taking screen shot photos of two different text conversations - he won't reply to my texts.,..and instead sends an I- message that shows up in a different conversation thread.
 

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Does your ex refuse to communicate via email? Does he not respond? Because if he does, you could ask him something about the kids on the 4th, or maybe thank him for switching years for this holiday since it prevents changing up the schedule.

But in the long run, do you think you'll care more next year about the 4th? Maybe it'll be more convenient to have two weekends in a row so you can take the kids on vacation and then let him have that weekend again. Who knows? Will he fight you over the 4th? It's kind of hard to make changes a year away and assume that will still work out. Maybe next time negotiate a favor more immediate in order to feel satisfied in getting a fair deal. What's the next holiday he would get but it falls on your weekend? Work that out now and worry about next 4th of July next year when you know what your plans are.

As to your question...I've been taking pics of texts on my old school cell phone and emailing them to myself. They have time stamps on them plus emailing them gives it a second time stamp and helps me stay organized. I am trying to get more organized with documentation...it's slowly but surely happening.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
AG-I have an android, and there is an app that backs up text message straight to my gmail account-I haven't used it in a while, but as I recall, it basically puts the texts in email format, with send, time, date listed and all the texts in a row.

He will absolutely not respond to an e-mail. Like, 0% chance. So yes, I can email about it (and I will now, thanks for the reminder, since I have to email their new insurance cards anyway) but I'd like to have documentation of his agreement rather than just my statement.

BB-honestly, it's not *that* big a deal. As in, I'm not worried enough about it insist that he trade his next holiday. But it does fall on a Monday next year, and I will have them as per the regular schedule. Our nearby fireworks are always on the actual 4th, and I would like to take them as they've been with him the past 2 years. As of now, he wouldn't fight about me keeping them whether he remembers this agreement or not. But who knows where we'll be at by next year! So I'd like to at least be able to send him a copy of this text conversation to show that he did in fact agree. It wouldn't be a hill to die on for me if he refused to comply, so I'm not going to make a big thing about it now, but he'd probably back down if I can show that he did agree at one point.
 

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oh, if you have an app that emails the texts to you, I would totally use that. then, you can just forward that email to him or print it out if you need it later.

I'm looking into getting an android phone and that's a feature I'd really like =)
 

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I would do it two ways. I would do the automatic backup and then also take a photo of the actual text. I got my ex in court with this. I had both a picture of the phone where I offer to bring ds by to visit with ex for his bday and ex's response that he will be too busy playing volleyball at the bar and saying no to the visit. I had it printed up from the computer too. The judge liked seeing the actual photo of the phone because it shows I did not tamper with it. I do this because my ex has a long history of tampering with emails etc. The judge was like "i can even see your little fingers there holding that phone."
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
hah! Good to know. I will have to use the web cam and take a picture-though, like I said, this will likely never see a court room or anything close to it, but it's always better to have some evidence.

I just sent another text askng him to pay for half of ds's occupational therapy since his current place isn't covered by insurance and I don't want to switch-that one I will take a picture of, though of course this one he hasn't responded to yet (he responded to the one shortly before almost immediately!)

And rubelin, I really like android and google-my photos all back up immediately to google photos, which I love because they are about the only things on my phone that I would miss if I lost/broke it.

When I did the original custody thing with ex, I had a binder full of the texts via email with me-didn't have to use them, but it felt good to have evidence of his harrassment when we first split up.
 

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I've used screen shots of text messages before in court and the judge accepted them as evidence. I send it to my email account with a relevant heading so it is easy to find what I am looking for.
 

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That's what I have done. By "screen shot"....do you mean using the camera on the phone to turn what you see on the screen and turn it into a .png photo file? That's what I do, but I am wondering if I need to do an additional photo that includes the phone and my hand?
 

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I did both because my ex is smart and evil and has no problem with falsifying documents and committing fraud. He tried doing that with his evidence and only copied and pasted part of messages and emails and then there was my WHOLE email thread in my evidence or my picture of the phone backing up what really happened.
 

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Yes, I used the camera on the phone to do it. I did it so one line overlapped for each photo so I could prove continuity, and they were all showing the times. I then put each "discussion" into one folder on my computer and email all of the series to myself.

I rarely have to do this though as I refuse to discuss anything of importance over text unless it needs immediate attention. Email is the best way to go. I BCC myself so I have a copy of the original email. I have saved every sigle email to pass between my ex and myself since about a week after we seperated.
 

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I did both because my ex is smart and evil and has no problem with falsifying documents and committing fraud. He tried doing that with his evidence and only copied and pasted part of messages and emails and then there was my WHOLE email thread in my evidence or my picture of the phone backing up what really happened.
We haven't had to go to court yet (just almost 3 times...), but it won't surprise me if xh does this too. He projects...and one of his false accusations revolves around me fabricating evidence. I have ignored those comments mostly..but have taken note so I can be one step ahead when he tries to falsify evidence. Thanks for informing me of your strategy, xh...

It's almost comical how he is playing this texting game... I can just imagine an evil self serving smirk as he praises himself for how smart he is in his quest to prove that we need to communicate in person!
 

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They do this thing where they accuse you of what they are doing. My ex is the one who insisted on everything being via text or email because "ASF will twist my words." Of course the opposite was true and him insisting on email or text helped my case in the long run.
 
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