[WallaWallaMamma]

I'm guessing we are all into our third trimester, or thereabouts. Congrats on making it thus far ladies!

I'm having a hard time coping with the amount of commentary I've gotten about my pregnant body from random people. Some strangers, some not. Frankly, I don't think it's polite or okay to talk about a woman's body just because she is pregnant. But I never know what to say, or if I should bother to say anything, in response to things such as, "are you sure it's not twins? You're so huge."

How do others respond to this?? I almost cried at the craft store when the clerk told me how big I was, and how she never was so big at six months, etc., etc. I made it to the car before I lost it. So hard to hear this when you feel tired, awkward, and achy. And not to mention that I've only gained one pound this time around, so does this mean I was huge to begin with?

Ugh.

 

[ismewilde]

It's just the way you are carrying the baby or perhaps a larger baby. Hard to tell. People mean well, but I know it can get annoying and even hurtful. I was carrying fairly small this time and people would ask how far along I was and when I told them they have commented on that- which made me worried. I also wanted to say that I don't feel small at all! Because I don't... Ah, it will pass soon enough!

 

[StepGirlfriend]

Due date club crashing, sorry and hello from March due date club

I am carrying small and really didn't start to even look pregnant (instead of just chubby) until about 30 weeks. Last friday I picked my step daughter up from her after school babysitter and the sitter commented saying "You finally look pregnant! Only took 8 months!" and I didn't know what to say either. I just kind of smiled and shrugged and said "Yeah." and she continued on to say "Well, at least enjoy it for the last month!" and laughed. I felt so mad! Like, I hadn't been feeling the pregnancy before I was showing significantly??

I agree with @ismewilde . I think people mean well, and probably feel like they are being sociable but the only topic they can comment on is the most obvious one: your pregnancy. My SO really helped me get over being mad (I was very grumpy when I got home) by reminding me that other people don't know how I feel or what I've been through or even what I looked like before hand so not to let them take up the real estate in my head. The reality is, our bodies are all going to do different things during pregnancy and people are going to notice. We just have to take it with a grain of salt and remember that we are beautiful, strong mamas!

 

[OliveOlive]

Sometimes it's best not to reply at all. People mean well but don't notice how hurtful they come across sometimes.

 

[WallaWallaMamma]

Thanks for all the input, I was feeling so sensitive that day but am less bothered now. Of course, I will not be returning to that craft store for a while...

Even though I haven't gained much weight in any of my five pregnancies, I am short so the only way is straight out! I carry all my babies big. My first was six pounds, my second eight even. I can't even imagine the back pain for mamas with bigger babies!

 

[WallaWallaMamma]

Due date club crashing, sorry and hello from March due date club

I am carrying small and really didn't start to even look pregnant (instead of just chubby) until about 30 weeks. Last friday I picked my step daughter up from her after school babysitter and the sitter commented saying "You finally look pregnant! Only took 8 months!" and I didn't know what to say either. I just kind of smiled and shrugged and said "Yeah." and she continued on to say "Well, at least enjoy it for the last month!" and laughed. I felt so mad! Like, I hadn't been feeling the pregnancy before I was showing significantly??

I agree with @ismewilde . I think people mean well, and probably feel like they are being sociable but the only topic they can comment on is the most obvious one: your pregnancy. My SO really helped me get over being mad (I was very grumpy when I got home) by reminding me that other people don't know how I feel or what I've been through or even what I looked like before hand so not to let them take up the real estate in my head. The reality is, our bodies are all going to do different things during pregnancy and people are going to notice. We just have to take it with a grain of salt and remember that we are beautiful, strong mamas!

Good luck! I'm jealous your due date is right around the corner. Cannot wait to meet my little guy when he is done cooking. How many more weeks do you have to go?

 

[StepGirlfriend]

Good luck! I'm jealous your due date is right around the corner. Cannot wait to meet my little guy when he is done cooking. How many more weeks do you have to go?

Sorry to make you jealous :crap ! It's really exciting and I'm so glad we have these forums to work through all the weird/fun/frustrating/whatever things that happen! I'm a first time pregnant mom so everything is new to me! I have about 6 weeks to go (assuming he's on time hehe). It has been a long wait but at the same time it flew by. Hard to describe!

I am glad you're feeling better about the situation though! Sometimes our brains get the best of us in moments so I'm glad it's something you were able to put behind you and move forward from :joy

 

[eternity9111]

Due date crashing.

People just don't think. How what they say will effect you as your emotions are all over the place anyway. With my first I worked with the public, 5 days a week, And some things they would say were so mean. I was told I must be having a girl since girls steal all the beauty from the mother (meaning I looked terrible!) I was forever asked how much longer since I was huge (I have a 9lb 5oz baby, 2 days BEFORE his due date). I was forever tired, and everything just annoyed me to no end. In the end, it's none of their business. I can look back now and not care about it. They will say what they want. This time around I have a friend due just before me, not showing at all. I've been showing since 6 weeks. I am huge next to her, and someone keeps pointing that out. "oh she is so small, doesn't look like she is pregnant at all, she is doing great". As I stand next to her knowing they are thinking "your so much bigger, how can you be that big already, ect" But I know in myself that this is how my body handles pregnancy, I can't compare myself to them. I am happy and healthy and that's what matters.

 

[Lizafava]

I am a bigger lady and cary small, plus I wear pretty androgynous clothes that don't really announce my belly. Have carried small with all my pregnancies. So people I think are still assuming I am just getting fat(ter) or afraid to say anything. Its a bummer. It actually really bothers me, but I just keep reminding myself that its just 7-10 more weeks and that soon it will be over. Sigh. It does seem like people either hear that they are big or too small. Really, folks should only say stuff like, "wow, you look radiant today!" or "Pregnancy suits you really well!" or :Thank you for carrying on the human race!" haha.

 

[*Karen*]

People are constantly asking me, "Wow! When is your due date?!" I get it, I'm huge. But it does hurt every single time. I just say, "Tomorrow!" and roll my eyes. They should know it is hurtful. Sorry, not sorry.

 

[WallaWallaMamma]

Oh, the indignity, Another variant I love is when people say, incredulously, "you have two months left? That's such a long time." Thank you for the pep talk.

Actually, I'm getting a little bit of heartburn thinking about my due date's proximity. I'm ready/not ready to go down the rabbit hole. Feeling a little bittersweet about giving up personal time with my oldest, who is a very sensitive young lady. I'm thankful that she is so excited about the baby's arrival, and hope that will help during the transition to family of five.