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Discussion Starter #1
<p>Sigh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I had some leftover weight from having two pregnancies in just over 2 years when I got pregnant with this time around. And instead of a nicely rounding tummy on the bottom, the baby seems to be just pushing my stomach up a bit.</p>
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<p>Several times in the past couple of weeks when someone finds out I'm expecting they reach out to pat my stomach...right at the top, which is actually no where near the baby but is more "gut". And since it's more pronounced right after I eat, people are patting my "food baby". It's really weird and very awkward.</p>
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<p>Why do people get so grabby with pregnant women?</p>
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<p>(I'm about 17 weeks at this point, and not really showing, due to the weight I had on before. I haven't gained any more weight though, everything is just shifting. Which is fine. I really don't need to gain much)</p>
 

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<p>Ahhhh! The boldness of strangers...</p>
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<p>I am overweight anyway, and I have a little roll in my middle...it is just now starting to round out because of the baby, but people always touch that when they congratulate me...the last time I said "Oh, thanks, but that is just a fat roll...the baby is way down low right now." It made her as embarrassed as I was...</p>
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Discussion Starter #3
<p>I don't really want strangers grabbing where the baby actually is at this point, seeing as it's just a little too close to my crotch, lol.</p>
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<p>But yeah...just because there is a baby in there doesn't make the belly community property. Most of my friends know to ask, and are cool when I've said "Let's wait until there is something to feel" They're excited to feel the kicks and such, and since many of them have had kids they get why I don't want to be randomly grabbed.</p>
 

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<p>Kudos to you ladies that handle those moments with such poise.  I already know if a stranger reached out to touch me I'd deflect their hand away and fuss at them to <strong>ask first</strong> when they go to molest another pregnant woman!  The thought of it creeps me out to no end... I have serious personal bubble boundaries.  My mom has touched my belly twice so far & even that has been almost intolerable for me.  Yes, I'm strange when it comes to this!!</p>
 

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<p>Ive never had a stranger try to touch my belly.  I always hear about it, but has never happened to me personally.  Ive had older ladies who know me do it..and it really doesnt bother me.  Some of my close friends do as well.  If they were all reaching under my shirt or something that would, obviously.  I come from a really touchy italian and hawaiian family though so, culturally it isnt a big deal for us to touch each other as a sign of affection.  I must be one of those odd preggos because it never bothers me when people ask me how I feel or about my pregnancy either and alot of folks seem to hate it.</p>
 

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<p>It's odd.. but I usually just laugh if someone does that..</p>
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<p>and yeah I'd rather they touch my chub.. then my baby right now :p .... usually it's someone I at least know somehow or other even if just an acquaintance.</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>MamaChef</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285253/thanks-total-stranger-but-that-s-my-lunch-you-re-patting#post_16113663"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>Ive never had a stranger try to touch my belly.  I always hear about it, but has never happened to me personally.  Ive had older ladies who know me do it..and it really doesnt bother me.  Some of my close friends do as well.  If they were all reaching under my shirt or something that would, obviously.  I come from a really touchy italian and hawaiian family though so, culturally it isnt a big deal for us to touch each other as a sign of affection.  I must be one of those odd preggos because it never bothers me when people ask me how I feel or about my pregnancy either and alot of folks seem to hate it.</p>
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yeah i don't really mind it...i think it would maybe weird me out a bit if a stranger did it but all the people that have done it so far this pregnancy are friends and most have asked. i was complaining a bit about it earlier this pregnancy and my husband told me that it is a blessing when people touch your belly, that they are blessing your baby...so i choose to look at it like that now :)</p>
 

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<p><br>
 </p>
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>ryleeee</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285253/thanks-total-stranger-but-that-s-my-lunch-you-re-patting#post_16113851"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br>
my husband told me that it is a blessing when people touch your belly, that they are blessing your baby...so i choose to look at it like that now :)</div>
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<br><br><p><span><img alt="thumbsup.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/thumbsup.gif"></span></p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
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<p>Originally Posted by <strong>ceriserenee</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285253/thanks-total-stranger-but-that-s-my-lunch-you-re-patting#post_16113321"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></p>
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<p>the last time I said "Oh, thanks, but that is just a fat roll...the baby is way down low right now." It made her as embarrassed as I was...</p>
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<br><br><p>lol.</p>
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<p>i don't think i've ever had a stranger touch my belly.  friends and family have but that doesn't bother me and they often ask anyway.  what really drove me nuts at the end of the pregnancy with dd was strangers constantly asking, "boy or girl"?  honestly, what do they care!  they're never going to see my baby!  and strangers asking about names drove me nuts also although i can see why that might be interesting to people.  it's part of the reason we're keeping the names to ourselves this time.  </p>
 
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Discussion Starter #10
<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>ryleeee</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285253/thanks-total-stranger-but-that-s-my-lunch-you-re-patting#post_16113851"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br>
i was complaining a bit about it earlier this pregnancy and my husband told me that it is a blessing when people touch your belly, that they are blessing your baby...so i choose to look at it like that now :)</div>
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<br><br><p>Yeah....I have to say I don't mind it so much when they are touching the baby, but right now, they're seeing my belly, they're assuming it's all baby and they are grabbing my fat. That's more my complaint, the assumption that 1) it's ok to touch and 2) that the baby is big enough to be touched.</p>
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<p>Does that make more sense?</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>lyndie</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285253/thanks-total-stranger-but-that-s-my-lunch-you-re-patting#post_16113533"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border-bottom:0px solid;border-left:0px solid;border-top:0px solid;border-right:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>Kudos to you ladies that handle those moments with such poise.  I already know if a stranger reached out to touch me I'd deflect their hand away and fuss at them to <strong>ask first</strong> when they go to molest another pregnant woman!  The thought of it creeps me out to no end... I have serious personal bubble boundaries.  My mom has touched my belly twice so far & even that has been almost intolerable for me.  Yes, I'm strange when it comes to this!!</p>
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You're not strange at all. I hate it!!! This is kiddo #2 for me and I didn't like it the first time and I don't like it now. I am a HS teacher, so I announce to my students that it will be cause to get jack-slapped if they as so much think about it. I love my students, but my stomach is personal and private. I don't even get up to do meet and greet at church because people like to touch, grab, and shake (yes SHAKE) your tummy. I don't want to inflict pain on anyone, so I just sit there, smile and nod at the passer-bys.</p>
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<p>Matter of fact I had a student at my HS, just this morning approach me, hands reaching, all smiles, "Ooo is there a baby in there?" - I quickly wrapped my arms around my stomach. Smiled and said "Yes, but please don't touch." <span><img alt="nono.gif" height="19" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/nono.gif" width="22"></span> She started to walk away upset, but I explained to her that you simply can't do that. How would you like it if someone came up to you and started rubbing your stomach?...especially if you didn't know them. I didn't even know this student, which is what made it even more weird. I further told her that a pregnant's woman's stomach is private property. Unless she says it's ok or you know her very intimately, it's generally not a good idea to do that. I think she understood. Even if she didn't, she now has a valuable life lesson...hopefully.</p>
 

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<p>the mom of one of my previous students used to wear a t-shirt (when she was pregnant) that said, "yes, i'm pregnant.  no, you can't touch my belly".  i rather enjoyed that.</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>samstress</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285253/thanks-total-stranger-but-that-s-my-lunch-you-re-patting#post_16115660"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border-bottom:0px solid;border-left:0px solid;border-top:0px solid;border-right:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>the mom of one of my previous students used to wear a t-shirt (when she was pregnant) that said, "yes, i'm pregnant.  no, you can't touch my belly".  i rather enjoyed that.</p>
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<p><br><br><span><img alt="yeahthat.gif" height="25" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/yeahthat.gif" width="35"></span> I need to get a shirt like that made or a pin, brotch, or button or something. Loves it!</p>
 

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<p>I'm not sure why, but I don't recall any strangers ever wanting to pat my belly with DS. Same with this one. Only DH and DS have been touching it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then again I tend to stay small and it doesn't really scream baby belly without the big baby bump. Instead I just look pudgy and fat. :( That probably has a lot to do with it.</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>WizDumbSpeaques</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285253/thanks-total-stranger-but-that-s-my-lunch-you-re-patting#post_16115844"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>samstress</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285253/thanks-total-stranger-but-that-s-my-lunch-you-re-patting#post_16115660"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>the mom of one of my previous students used to wear a t-shirt (when she was pregnant) that said, "yes, i'm pregnant.  no, you can't touch my belly".  i rather enjoyed that.</p>
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<p><br><br><span><img alt="yeahthat.gif" height="25" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/yeahthat.gif" width="35"></span> I need to get a shirt like that made or a pin, brotch, or button or something. Loves it!</p>
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<p>we all do. </p>
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<p>the woman with the shirt told me that a friend of hers made it for her.  probably after listening to her complain that she hates it when people come up and touch her belly.<br>
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<p>Oh I could SO see this happening to me!!  I know my uterus is still just below my navel, and all my friends are saying how they can't wait to feel the baby kick when I come visit.. in a week.  I'm like... uh, well, *I* am just now feeling movement and I don't think you'll be able to feel it on the outside.  If they can feel it, they'd have to have their hand uncomfortably close to my crotch.  I'm sorry that strangers feel the need to touch your belly in the first place!  Ugh!!!</p>
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<p>I totally get what you're saying about how everything is shifting up though.  That's how I feel too.</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>samstress</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285253/thanks-total-stranger-but-that-s-my-lunch-you-re-patting#post_16115660"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>the mom of one of my previous students used to wear a t-shirt (when she was pregnant) that said, "yes, i'm pregnant.  no, you can't touch my belly".  i rather enjoyed that.</p>
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<br><br><p>my friend had one that said "yes, you can touch my belly...if i can punch you in the face"</p>
<p><span><img alt="ROTFLMAO.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/ROTFLMAO.gif"></span></p>
 
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