[MommytoB]

Well, my mom is a very perfectionist person so she has reported me to child protective services alot for certain things like she thinks -not clean- or worried that my son would get hurt accuses me of pinching him- so then when i saw how this one lady who visited her nephew in foster care who posted on this board was circ but not circ when he was born.

So then with my mom hounding & at least 5 other people hounding on me & my landlady don't even care about what shape my place is in as long as their is no bugs & it don't stink.

So I get to work with the family support network so I questioned her on Medical Stuff and they go even if the child is only gone for a 'week' in the state custody they choose of what medical treatment they think "he' would need and do it.

Then I go I wouldn't even have a 'say in it and she goes No.

So now I am going to be so superly organized so I don't have to worry about someone coming to get my son and he ends up in a no good painful surgery after I do my best to prevent it so now I have a 'motivation' to keep my son doubly safe.

 

[coloradoalice]

Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Is it possible for you to move far away from your mom? From what you said she sounds like a fairly mean and maniuplative and controling person.

How scary for you to have your mother call CPS. That just freaks me out!

 

[Jaydens_mom]

My mom has threatened to call CPS ( CAS here in cananda ) on me MILLIONS of times... it really makes me hate her sometimes.. to want to try and get my son taken away from me.

She is the same woman that beat me and my brother with belts, and spoons. Yelled at us whenever she was having a bad day, and so on..

Being raised in this sort of environment, i have a low thresh hold.. so when i get mad i can sometimes yell...

I yelled at my son once while she was around because he wasn't listening and i was depressed over a split up and my grandmother dying at the same time and trying to find a place to live as i didn't have one at the time and was staying with her, and she was b*tching at me about something stupid all day long..... she came into the room with the phone book and started looking up the number to CAS... saying i don't deserve my son, that i don't love him ( WHICH IS NOTTTTTTTT TRUE ) and she will have him taken away and i wont ever get to see him and she will and yadda yadda yadda...

I left and didn't talk to her for almost a month...

When i finally called her up to say where i was, she was really sorry for acting like that.

I explained to her how she treated us when we were children and how sometimes I need a break and i can snap.. but i would never hurt my son or tell him i didn't love him... and that i don't yell at him all the time and she happened to catch me in a mad moment...

If YOU think the way you are raising your children is the right way, and they are not being mistreated, under fed, or etc... then just continue raising them that way...

Your mother is obviously still living in the older ages and needs to realize these are YOUR children, and if they get taken away she might never get to see them again either.

 

[laneylue]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaydens_mom She is the same woman that beat me and my brother with belts, and spoons. Yelled at us whenever she was having a bad day, and so on..

We must be sisters.

FYI- If you didn't already know, there is a Gentle Discipline board here, too. It really helps me sometimes.

 

[Fyrestorm]

I have some interesting links for CPS related sites.

False Accusations

A Families Guide to the system

Quote:

As your child's parent, you still retain all your parental rights. Removing your child from your care is based on the child's need for protection. It does not modify or revoke your parental rights. You have all the same rights you always did, expect the right to have your child live in your home. This includes the right to medical records, educational records, the right to consent to medical care and to choose the doctor your child sees, the right to decide what church your child should attend, what type of environment he should reside in, etc. Generally government agents sometimes pretend like you have no rights or fail to consult you before making decisions concerning your child's care. If you don't assert your parental rights, the government agent most likely will not honor them. When your child is placed in state care, you should send a letter preserving your parental rights and outlining the type of care you want your child to receive. A sample letter can be found here.

 

[coloradoalice]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaydens_mom My mom has threatened to call CPS ( CAS here in cananda ) on me MILLIONS of times... it really makes me hate her sometimes.. to want to try and get my son taken away from me. She is the same woman that beat me and my brother with belts, and spoons. Yelled at us whenever she was having a bad day, and so on.. Being raised in this sort of environment, i have a low thresh hold.. so when i get mad i can sometimes yell... I yelled at my son once while she was around because he wasn't listening and i was depressed over a split up and my grandmother dying at the same time and trying to find a place to live as i didn't have one at the time and was staying with her, and she was b*tching at me about something stupid all day long..... she came into the room with the phone book and started looking up the number to CAS... saying i don't deserve my son, that i don't love him ( WHICH IS NOTTTTTTTT TRUE ) and she will have him taken away and i wont ever get to see him and she will and yadda yadda yadda... I left and didn't talk to her for almost a month... When i finally called her up to say where i was, she was really sorry for acting like that. I explained to her how she treated us when we were children and how sometimes I need a break and i can snap.. but i would never hurt my son or tell him i didn't love him... and that i don't yell at him all the time and she happened to catch me in a mad moment... If YOU think the way you are raising your children is the right way, and they are not being mistreated, under fed, or etc... then just continue raising them that way... Your mother is obviously still living in the older ages and needs to realize these are YOUR children, and if they get taken away she might never get to see them again either.

God, it makes me so sad and so mad when I realize that so many of us were raised this way and are still dealing with the manipulative mean behavior of our parents. As a mother I don't understand how my mom could treat me that way when I was younger.

 

[Jaydens_mom]

What i dont understand is how she could treat me that way, then threaten to call CAS when i so much as have a bad day and raise my voice at my son...

I could be taking after her and beating the crap outta him but im not...

 

[paminmi]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MommytoB So I get to work with the family support network so I questioned her on Medical Stuff and they go even if the child is only gone for a 'week' in the state custody they choose of what medical treatment they think "he' would need and do it. Then I go I wouldn't even have a 'say in it and she goes No.

OMG, THAT is scary! What the heck is wrong with this country?

 

[AntoninBeGonin]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaydens_mom What i dont understand is how she could treat me that way, then threaten to call CAS when i so much as have a bad day and raise my voice at my son... I could be taking after her and beating the crap outta him but im not...

I often feel the same way. My mom wasn't physically abusive (I was spanked maybe 6 times) but geez-louise she would get so hateful. Most of the time I felt more like a stranger than her child.

I'm very glad you're taking the trouble to break the cycle of abuse. It takes a very strong and courageous person to do that. Jayden is lucky to have you as his mother

~Nay

 

[baybee]

You hang in there, Mommy2B, and don't let the turkeys get you down. If you want to have miracles in the organizing and housework, join the free email coaching flylady.com
I've learned to swish and swipe my bathroom every time I go in there and I have had a big miracle from that. Huge hugs to you and your lucky son. Baybee