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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
How many of you have experienced some or all of the 5 stages of grief, relating to circumcision? I find myself rotating through them in rapid changes today, and I am getting seriously
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Wikipedia defines the 5 stages of grief as:
  • Denial
  • Anger
  • Bargaining
  • Depression
  • Acceptance
I've been through anger and depression and denial about a million times just today, with my sister's news of deciding to circ. I'm starting to be unable to function, today. This really sucks. The only one I can't imagine going through is acceptance....I can't ever ever ever accept that someone can rightfully do something like this to any innocent baby.

How do you turn anger and depression into more motivating emotions, the type that cause change in the world? Because right now I feel like maybe we'd all be better off if God just destroyed the world so no more baby boys (or girls) could be tortured. I am so :puke over this today, I can't stand it. How can people be so callous?
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I think the acceptance piece does not mean accepting circumcision as being OK in any way shape or form. But accepting that we can't save everyone every time, and accepting ourselves for doing the best we could, whatever that was. And accepting what is, once it's happened, in the sense of putting what's most important first, i.e. taking care of yourself, or bonding with your nephew, as opposed to getting stuck in anger or depression, etc.

Gillian
 

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I've been through all of the stages except acceptance. My two boys are circed, and the depression has gotten to the point where I was in a really, really bad place. I'm still so, so angry that this practice is legal. I have a lot of relatives over in Europe and constantly find myself wishing I'd grown up over there so this wouldn't even be an issue at all for me. I'm in the same situation with my sister, but she's not pregnant yet. She thinks I'm crazy for regretting my choice. She thinks I'm crazy for talking to people about it. I understand where she's coming from, because that was me... before I learned the facts. I think we are literally brainwashed in this country to think that circumcision is not only normal, but healthier. It's very hard to turn the grief into energy to fight circumcision- I guess I've at least accepted that what's done is done with my own kids, but now I hold an obligation and responsibility to spread the truth.
 

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To be honest, other than anger and sadness at my own ignorance, I've not really gone through all that. I feel that I made a terrible mistake, and I'm not going to make it again with boy #3. While I realize that many of us former circ advocates do feel more strongly about their mistakes, I've not felt any reason to get farther into it. I'll be honest and up front with the boys when they're ready to ask questions, and I'm sure they'll have a few unpleasant ones for me.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by glongley View Post
I think the acceptance piece does not mean accepting circumcision as being OK in any way shape or form. But accepting that we can't save everyone every time, and accepting ourselves for doing the best we could, whatever that was. And accepting what is, once it's happened, in the sense of putting what's most important first, i.e. taking care of yourself, or bonding with your nephew, as opposed to getting stuck in anger or depression, etc.

Gillian
Well put I think.
 

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I've experienced some of that. Both of my children are intact...the anger comes when I find out innocent children have been harmed. The anger comes when I find out someone destroyed one of the most important, sensitive, and beautiful parts of my best friend's body, and struggling with acceptance that there is nothing *I* can do to change it, other than provide information about restoration. The depression comes thinking about how terrible a procedure circumcision is, how much damage it causes, and watching someone struggle with the obvious side effects of it. Sometimes it does get you really down, and you have to back away from the whole thing for a while. It will drive you insane.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thank you for your uplifting thoughts, Gillian. I really needed to hear that.

And Mama Poot, you described very well what I've been feeling.
 

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It's hard! Luckily I don't know anyone close to me with kids. I have a friend that we've lost touch and her son is intact but that's about it. My sister has a daughter and i've since educated BOTH my sisters and they're anti-circ! But they only learned from my mistake of circ'ing my own son. That's tough! It's something I'll never be able to fix... it's done! No matter how bad or depressed I get about it, there's nothing I can do to make it better. I think about it pretty much everyday and I feel so bad for him knowing what I put him through when he was only 3 days old! :puke
 
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