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The best thing?

771 Views 22 Replies 15 Participants Last post by  Emilie
What was/is the best thing about homebirth?

I'm just asking because somedays hormones and preg brain attack...
Then I temporarily forget why I wanted a homebirth.
[FYI My mind is made up! I DO want a homebirth.
I would just like some happy HB vibes/thoughts.

Thanks everbody!
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You're going to do great! It will be wonderful.

The best thing was having my husband and the freedom he had in being my support.
The worst thing was having to drive to the hospital for perineum repair.
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What isn't awesome about homebirth?

I love everything...

Wearing my own clothes
Being in my house
Not having to go anywhere
Not taking orders from anyone or waiting my turn
Eat what I want, when I want
Use my own toilet whenver I want
Control the environment
I decide who is there
I decide how/when/where to push
Don't have to remain in one area
Can waterbirth if I want to
Baby never leaves me
Get a nice herbal bath afterward
No unnecessary disruptions
I own my birth
No unwanted or uneeded interventions

Surely there are more. You'll do great! Just let it happen. Best wishes.
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When I was pg with my first, my doula had me make a drawing of what I wanted for my birth. After putting it off for a long time, I finally just mentally puked onto the page, and I came out with this beautiful drawing of a dark, thick black circle, with a gentle sun, quiet tree boughs, and me inside. I am laying on my back against the bottom of the circle, peaceul and asleep, with my tummy large and round. This drawing made me feel safe, warm, at peace. I felt private and secluded, like no one was there but me and the babe and peaceful Mother Earth. I'm not a hippy mother-worshiping type at all, but this is how I felt and feel about labor and birth.

This gave me the insight I needed to protect my birthing space and to keep my brain and emotions and body focused on birthing when it got tough.

This space will be much easier to maintain in the home, rather than the hospital, where they would not understand this desire. Even if they recognize that you want to be alone, the staff would not emotionally be able to connect the drawing of peace and seclusion with how to treat you and your baby during labor.
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Oh my- here are a few things that I love about my homebirth

I love the glowing love feeling that surrounded me during my labor and after- I was with people who geniunely loved me and my baby
I loved the ability to go 12 days over my "due" date- with no one pushing me about it
I love the ability that my birth was about ME and MY baby- not some policy
I love that my midwife loved me
I love that I got to do what I wanted- when I wanted - that it was not something I had to ask for- but just assumed that it WAS about me.
I love that I was with people- and in a place- that truly believed I was capable of delivering without drugs or interventions.
That there were not people being mean to me-( or laughing in the nurses center) about me.
I was not embarrased.
I love that I got to pull me own baby up- cause I wanted to- and not taken away.
I love that everything going on I was the main part of- not just a bystander.
I love that I did something I never thought I could do.
I love that it was a peaceful event.
I love that my midwife helped me to wash my hair and help me to put the new baby to sleep.
I love everything about it.
I could go on and on and on forever.
You can do this mama- it is the way it was meant to be.

You know- when I was done- and had time to digest it- having the baby at home- was such not that big of a deal! LOL!

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The best thing for me was feeling safe.
You perspectives were better than I had hoped for.
Thanks for the support!
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not having to go anywhere in labor
not having to go anywhere postpartum
not having anyone tell you what to do
wearing your own clothes
sitting on your own toilet
bathing in your own bathtub with your new baby
snuggling in your own bed with your new baby
eating in your own kitchen
having everything you need right there
not packing a bag
not forgetting to bring something

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ditto to everything you all listed! One of the most important reasons to me were that I would be 100% totally comfortable in my own home. I could wander around aimlessly, naked, sweaty...and not be embarrased. I could control who was there (the last thing I wanted was IL's telling me how or what to do or adding any stress). I was in my own environment, which was so important to me. My bed, my sheets, my tub, my clothes. I could do whatever felt right at the moment without having to ask or even think about it.

What are your fears about HB? or what is it that occasionaly makes you reevaluate your decision? Maybe we can help, because I'm sure SOMEONE has experienced those same feelings and can share with you how they coped.
I agree, one of the best things is not having to go anywhere. I LOVE knowing that when labor starts I can just relax and go with it. There is no question of when to go anywhere, no packing to do... no more worries about having the baby in the car, that was a big reason I chose HB (as opposed to BC) both times.
I also love that there is no one harassing me for interventions. AND I have complete control over WHO is there. In the hosp I imagine evil looks of doubt and disapproval on strange faces. At home, only the people I invite will be there.
arranging the house to make it my ideal nest
tested out the lighting to have it just how I wanted it
listening to the rain hit the windows
seeing my own sheets on floor... comforting somehow
comfortable wearing anything or nothing
sleeping in my own bed
using my own bathroom
DD waking up in the morning to discover me in bed with a new baby
pacing outside looking at the garden
everyone I wanted to attend was there

no continual monitoring
no interventions
no pressure from staff

best of all: I didn't have the baby in a taxi, which is exactly what would've happened if we'd actually left when I normally would have left for the hospital.
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I had my baby at home and had to go to the hospital for an inner tear that had to be fixed, which lead to going under general anestesia for what turned out to be no problem (arrrghhh...but oh well, better safe than sorry right?)

One thing about getting to stay at home after the birth is that baby stays with you, that's the only thing i regret about my birth...since we had to stay the night (which i wish i had refused to do) the nurses took my baby to the nursery (I didn't sleep all night anyways because i just wanted my baby

so to sum it up: you get to sleep with your fresh baby
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SOOOO many things were wonderful for me. I guess the BEST would be that I never WORRIED - I never had to worry someone would make me do something, or that they would take my baby and do something to him. My midwives (I had 4!) enjoyed taking care of me and being there with/for me.
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What a great thread!
I don't even know where to start! I had a hospital birth with my first son and had the whole bit-IV, pitocin, epidural, episiotomy, etc. Delivered in an operating room with a bunch of strangers telling me what to do.

I LOVED my homebirth!
-I was in my own home with familiar surroundings, smells, noises, etc.
-I had everything there I needed, no need to pack a bag
-No worrying about getting to the hospital too late or too soon
-No one telling me what to do-I was telling other people what to do!

-I ate and drank whatever I wanted
-I had the freedom to labor how I wanted-in my bed, on the couch, on the floor, on my birth ball, in the birthing pool, on the toilet, etc.
-I wasn't hooked up to a bunch of monitors or IV's
-No negative vibes
-I didn't have to worry about unnecessary intervention
-No fear of getting an unnecessary c-section, which is so common with twins
-As soon as I delivered my babies in the pool, I went straight to my very own bed!
-The midwives did the newborn exams on my very own bed in front of me after the babies had nursed and bonded
-My babies never left my sight
-No worry about hospital germs
-No need to sign a bunch of waivers and fight to keep my babies from getting unecessary shots, tests, etc.

I could go on and on and on.....
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Originally Posted by KatKirkwood
What are your fears about HB? or what is it that occasionaly makes you reevaluate your decision?
Maybe we can help, because I'm sure SOMEONE has experienced those same feelings and can share with you how they coped.
Thanks for asking.
Keep in mind that I HATE hospitals, and Drs are intolerable.
Lets hope I don't have complications.

But here are the things that throw me about a homebirth.
Note: They're not compleatly rational. I know.

1. Wile I do want a midwife, I have trust issues with woman.
[I was abused by my mother and grandmother]
2. This whole HB thing is uncharted territory.
3. Will I have enough support. (I'm am considering a doula)
4. Will birth really work at home.

I think the reasons I want a HB, and the reasons I get concerned
have the same root..... My Mother.
She has severe unchecked mental illness..
She spent my whole life telling that I had to have children.
She also told me (as a small child) I made her want to kill herself.
Still I had to have children, and the exact same way she did.
It had to be in a hospital with a midwife and a docter.
NO Drugs, no breastfeeding, no other method than Bradley,
no birthcenter... The list seemed endless.
Mind you her births weren't positive ones.
But my births had to be done her way.

Here's the best part though. She and I haven't talked for 2 years.
Really truely the best two years of my life.

I'm hoping she never even knows about my pregnancy.

But all this is why I am
: about meeting the midwife today.
I think I expect her to be like my mom.

Sorry this was so long. Thanks again
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Good luck to you! Get to reading the birth stories here- it is so helpful!
Will be thinking of you.
Well then, I guess you'd best go about doing things YOUR way. She's not in your life anymore. Her desires for you are sick and hurtful. We don't let hurtful people influence our lives. You said her mother was sick, too? You're already flouting the maternal line by not being a controlling, hurtful person.

I'd guess that trend is going to continue. You're going to give birth to your baby in a safe, peaceful place and manner. You're going to breastfeed because you choose to give your baby the great gift of perfect nourishment and the love of your body. You're going to nurture your children, not mold and sculpt them the way you were.

It can feel so good to breathe deeply and know that hurtful person didn't just share those molecules. She has no influence over you any more, no control. Whenever you feel her looming, with her tentacles in your emotions, just breathe in and out and feel how clean those molecules are...clean and free of her, just as you are.

Don't know if that helps, but it helps me when I think about my abuser. He hurt me, I can't change that, but I can choose not to let him continue to hurt me. If I had continued to let him into my life (even after he was dead and gone), I wouldn't ever have been able to trust men, to learn to make love, to give birth peacefully. I don't even think of him anymore during sex, and he was non-existent during labor and birth. I am free. Because I breathe in and know that the air is free from him.

We're so vulnerable during pregnancy and birth, it's tough not to let the old abusers back in with their nasty emotions. But some of what I had to learn because of him is good, the strength to clean myself of him, to move my thoughts and emotions away from his influence and focus on my joy and life, the miracle and euphoria of pregnancy and birth will not be tainted by him.

I guess I poured a bit of my own problems into that, I just hope that the perspective can help you.
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the best thing about a homebirth to me is the memory

that was one of the most incredible experiences of my life (extremely spiritual and peaceful), and everytime i think about it i break out into a huge grin.
and when i share this memory with the people i love most in this world (my family-dh and kids) i can see the wonder, excitement, and love in their eyes too.
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LEOSMAMA-What a great post. That really was a spiritually uplifting thing to read. I too was abused, not sexually, but physically, but your words have more power than you'd think. That's great advise, and in the future I'm going to use that breathing and releasing method. Love it!

SEA-GAL-I think hiring a doula would be a great idea! I wanted to hire adoula, but couldn't afford one. In the end, my mw did an outstanding job and I didn't miss not having a doula. But still, a doula can help keep you on track, keep you motivated, and give you that extra support that you think you might need. To be honest, I knew my husband would NOT be able to give me much support during labor. Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy, and he did O.K. for a while. But once labor really kicked in, and I was in a bad mood, he just wanted to watch ESPN. Which is fine, I probably wouldn't have wanted to be around me either, lol. But anyways, my point is, whether it be that you don't think you will get the full support you need from you dh or mw, I would highly suggest a doula. Better safe than sorry, ya know? The last thing you want is to get overwhelmed and upset and end up wanting a hospital transfer or something. Of course, I'm all for a doula, because that's what I'm aspiring to do, until my kids are older and I can become a liscenced mw.

Your HB is going to be wondeful, you'll cherish that moment for the rest of your life. I can garentee (i can't spell) that after its said and done, you'll never think twise about going to a dreaded hosp. again. Ahh it just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside when I think about my birth. It was just great, everything I ever imagined and more. And believe me, I had fears, LOTS of fears. But I was calm and confident in my abilities and that nothing would go wrong. Granted, I ended up having a hosp. transfer, it wasn't because of an emergency per se, it was because my water had been broke for over 48 hours and I was only dialated to 3 cent. and my conractions were already 2-3 mins apart because of that AWFUL, HORRIBLE, NASTY, castor oil. I was recieving antibotics through an IV every 2 hours. Anyways, your HB will be great and remember, there is no fear in love.
Good luck!
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The best things about homebirth ....

Being free to labor, hard, for 50 hours with no medical interventions!

Feeling safe in my own cozy home.

Being free to walk around the yard or the neighborhood, and then back inside, and to walk in and out of every room ... over and over again!

Being able to eat and drink when and if I felt like it!

Using my very own bathroom to labor in.

Being able to tuck right into my own bed with my new baby (and the older baby!).

I could write a book!

**sigh** Am having pretty serious baby-cravings!
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