Originally Posted by KatKirkwood
What are your fears about HB? or what is it that occasionaly makes you reevaluate your decision?
Maybe we can help, because I'm sure SOMEONE has experienced those same feelings and can share with you how they coped.
Thanks for asking.
Keep in mind that I HATE
hospitals, and Drs are intolerable.
Lets hope I don't have complications.
But here are the things that throw me about a homebirth.
Note: They're not compleatly rational. I know.
1. Wile I do want a midwife, I have trust issues with woman.
[I was abused by my mother and grandmother]
2. This whole HB thing is uncharted territory.
3. Will I have enough support. (I'm am considering a doula)
4. Will birth really work at home.
I think the reasons I want a HB, and the reasons I get concerned
have the same root..... My Mother.
She has severe unchecked mental illness..
She spent my whole life telling that I had to have children.
She also told me (as a small child) I made her want to kill herself.
Still I had to have children, and the exact same way she did.
It had to be in a hospital with a midwife and a docter.
NO Drugs, no breastfeeding, no other method than Bradley,
no birthcenter... The list seemed endless.
Mind you her births weren't positive ones.
But my births had
to be done her way.
Here's the best part though. She and I haven't talked for 2 years.
Really truely the best two years of my life.
I'm hoping she never even knows about my pregnancy.
But all this is why I am
: about meeting the midwife today.
I think I expect her to be like my mom.
Sorry this was so long. Thanks again