I can understand where you're coming from. And I think that you're not alone, there are other single mamas here with virtually absent ex's, who deal with similar "most stressful part of life" issues. So go ahead and start threads about what you are worried about! About trying to get more connected to a community, about finding a little time for yourself, about having some other people to help you with your child from time to time. Those are all such valid points, and we'd love to help you with them!
My suggestion would be to try to find more community. A church maybe (there are all sorts, from Christian to Unitarian to Quaker etc...a great place to connect to people). Maybe try to start a single mom's group...you might be surprised how many AP single mamas are out there, there really are a lot who for whatever reason (divorce, smc, widowhood) are both AP and single parents. But the most important thing is don't give up on finding more balance, it's amazing how different things look when you are struggling with a problem and after you've found some solution about it. Right now you're at the low point in dealing with this, but it can and will get better, so have some patience, put a little bit of thought/effort into it, and you never know!
Just wanted to send you a