"The Continuum Concept"-let's discuss!
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
True, some things (especially her comments about Homosexuality ) are dated and even offensive, the rest of the book is so right on, it sort of makes up for it.
I'm thinking a lot about how she says children shouldn't be given too much direct attention, that they should just be a part of adult life, and allowed to help or not at their own pace. I admit, I give dd (age 4months) a ton of direct attention, (just love her to pieces!!), but it's true it doesn' exactly feel right. So I'm working on having her just be a part of my life. I love the idea of wearing her around all the time, but I admit, I put her in her little "baby gym" for a few minutes several times a day. She loves it though, and it feels o.k. so I guess it is.
The sections I'm talking about is on page 168, bottom paragraph on (after the wild freudian thing) She says it would help to think of taking care of a baby as a "non-thing"-that they are just there, soaking it all it.... interesting stuff and it makes sense!
I'm thinking a lot about how she says children shouldn't be given too much direct attention, that they should just be a part of adult life, and allowed to help or not at their own pace. I admit, I give dd (age 4months) a ton of direct attention, (just love her to pieces!!), but it's true it doesn' exactly feel right. So I'm working on having her just be a part of my life. I love the idea of wearing her around all the time, but I admit, I put her in her little "baby gym" for a few minutes several times a day. She loves it though, and it feels o.k. so I guess it is.
The sections I'm talking about is on page 168, bottom paragraph on (after the wild freudian thing) She says it would help to think of taking care of a baby as a "non-thing"-that they are just there, soaking it all it.... interesting stuff and it makes sense!
Joined
·
2,896 Posts
I wasn't really all that impressed with the book, actually. She idealizes this one culture, and totally rejects anything else. Yes, we do a lot of things bass-ackwards in this country when it comes to child-rearing, but lets face it; we're not returning to a hunting-gathering society, and some things that work there just aren't going to apply in our world. Our instincts won't warn us that walking on paved asphalt may result in being flattened by a moving vehicle. We need to teach our kids to stay out of the road, and keep them out of the street until they learn.
I think the fact that parents in the West talk to and interact with their babies is one of the few GOOD things we do with our kids. Verbal intelligence is highly valued in our society, and I don't see anything wrong with that.
I much prefer the book "Our Babies, Ourselves." It's a much more scientific look at baby rearing practices from a variety of cultures. They don't villify everything about one culture, but just look at what keeps babies healthiest, emotionally and physically.
I think the fact that parents in the West talk to and interact with their babies is one of the few GOOD things we do with our kids. Verbal intelligence is highly valued in our society, and I don't see anything wrong with that.
I much prefer the book "Our Babies, Ourselves." It's a much more scientific look at baby rearing practices from a variety of cultures. They don't villify everything about one culture, but just look at what keeps babies healthiest, emotionally and physically.
I agree that our culture is very different to hope to adopt something like the Yequana way of child-raising. But I think her observations on how babies and children are treated there are very interesting for us to look at and consider in raising our own children.
One thing I noticed after I read the book was how comfortable I am letting my 2 y/o run around and tag along behind without constant supervision when I am at my parents' house in the woods on a dirt road. I could never do that here in the city. First of all, the outcome of wandering in the road would be tragic and secondly ds could not possibly be expected to be intuitive about the dangers of the road- they are really something that takes awhile to get used to. That being said, ds is very careful by the road because he understands the gravity of it's dangers from us going over it with him.
My other complaints are that she doesn't appear to have children herself and uses personal experiences with monkeys when she wants a personal anecdote...I think raising monkys and children are slightly different
![]()
...I think she would sound a little different coming from the perspective of a mother...but maybe it's best that she gets into the babies' persective so fully.
And she also has this thing about appearances which is a little weird.
It could be a much better book. But I found it inspiring and thought- wow, if we lived out in the country and lived among other people like us this would actually be a good way to raise kids....unfortunatly we don't...
I think it would be nice if we didn't force our intellectual, non-instictive cultural ways on babies and small children though...like baby einstein, early reading, educational baby toys (in their cribs!) and way too early discipline "for their own good"...that type of thing.
One thing I noticed after I read the book was how comfortable I am letting my 2 y/o run around and tag along behind without constant supervision when I am at my parents' house in the woods on a dirt road. I could never do that here in the city. First of all, the outcome of wandering in the road would be tragic and secondly ds could not possibly be expected to be intuitive about the dangers of the road- they are really something that takes awhile to get used to. That being said, ds is very careful by the road because he understands the gravity of it's dangers from us going over it with him.
My other complaints are that she doesn't appear to have children herself and uses personal experiences with monkeys when she wants a personal anecdote...I think raising monkys and children are slightly different
And she also has this thing about appearances which is a little weird.
It could be a much better book. But I found it inspiring and thought- wow, if we lived out in the country and lived among other people like us this would actually be a good way to raise kids....unfortunatly we don't...
I think it would be nice if we didn't force our intellectual, non-instictive cultural ways on babies and small children though...like baby einstein, early reading, educational baby toys (in their cribs!) and way too early discipline "for their own good"...that type of thing.
Joined
·
2,896 Posts
Quote:
I agree! I was thinking of the making eye-contact, playing with, talking to type of personal interactions with babies that develops verbal skills. Some cultures babywear, bf, cosleep, but don't make eye-contact, interact with beyond caretaking, or believe their babies are intellectually capable of communication. They have different child-rearing goals, which is fine. But I can't imagine NOT talking to/googling over my babies. Sometimes they SHOULD be the center of attention.
![]()
On the other hand, I'm not on a mission to keep my baby stimulated 24 hrs a day, either. Often he is just along for the ride.
Originally Posted by plantmama I think it would be nice if we didn't force our intellectual, non-instictive cultural ways on babies and small children though...like baby einstein, early reading, educational baby toys (in their cribs!) and way too early discipline "for their own good"...that type of thing. |
On the other hand, I'm not on a mission to keep my baby stimulated 24 hrs a day, either. Often he is just along for the ride.
I agree, we can't expect to raise our kids like the Yequana, but it's useful to think of babywearing and such like something our kids "expect" given their ancient instincts. I like the way she puts it, that it should feel "right" and that the problem with our culture is that we all spend our lives not feeling "right" and the reason is the lack of care as infants. I agree that the lack of empathy for infants in our culture is tragic and probably the cause of much unhappiness.
I also think it's good to make eye contact and have babe be the center of attention, I just think I was doing it too much. Today, I strapped her into the Ergo and just took her along for the ride for most of the day, and it felt really good. I know that's probably what you baby-wearing mama's do all the time but I haven't been too good about it (was waiting for her to grow into the ergo so my back didn't always hurt!
![]()
)
I know the things she says about safety are a little weird, as are her ideas about sexuality, but I really like the overall tone of the book, (o.k, you got me, the monkey thing is very weird!!
![]()
-but hey, she came to the same conclusion we would have about co-sleeping, right?)
It just seems like our birth right to be happy, genuinely happy, comfortable in our own skin, and almost NONE of us (meaning our culture in general) are actually happy. I loved this look into a culture where it's the norm to be happy. I like Liedloff's premise that we should go back to an instinctual way of living.
I guess there's already a thread for this, maybe we should move over to it.
PP posted the link....
I also think it's good to make eye contact and have babe be the center of attention, I just think I was doing it too much. Today, I strapped her into the Ergo and just took her along for the ride for most of the day, and it felt really good. I know that's probably what you baby-wearing mama's do all the time but I haven't been too good about it (was waiting for her to grow into the ergo so my back didn't always hurt!
I know the things she says about safety are a little weird, as are her ideas about sexuality, but I really like the overall tone of the book, (o.k, you got me, the monkey thing is very weird!!
It just seems like our birth right to be happy, genuinely happy, comfortable in our own skin, and almost NONE of us (meaning our culture in general) are actually happy. I loved this look into a culture where it's the norm to be happy. I like Liedloff's premise that we should go back to an instinctual way of living.
I guess there's already a thread for this, maybe we should move over to it.
PP posted the link....
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
