[mama24-7]

In my former life, I spent a lot of time talking about responding vs. reacting. I think that this needs to be clarified now, more than ever, with so many situations being presented to the lactivism stage.

React: gutteral, instinct, your first thoughts, etc.
Respond: well thought out, all the facts are clear, your objective is clear, etc.

When we hear about a mama who has been harrassed, yet again, we all want to protect her, and by doing this, protect ourselves. In order to gain the respect we deserve, we need to develop a united, coherent, cohesive response when presented with a situation that calls for lactivism, such as the recent one in Colorado.

So, the next time you hear about a mother who has been harassed, think first, respond second.

FTR, this post is regarding all of us supporting the mother who has been harassed. When you are in the middle of being harassed, you do the best you can.

As I keep saying, I hope our daughters and sons don't have to continue to fight this fight. It sure is tiring!

Sus

 

[Romana]

I agree with what's been said regarding a more thought-out approach/response. I remember that coming up a while ago, maybe it was thejenn thelactivist talking about bf mothers hurting the movement by doing too many nurse-ins or something - I really don't remember exactly. But I agree that it makes sense to sit, process, think, and strategize. I also think that a lot of these corporations just don't think about lack of training etc. and even if the execs are really BF-friendly, it doesn't occur to them that the security dude they hired (probably contracted for) is completely ignorant of any policy that might be in effect and ignorant of what the higher-ups would want.

I guess all I'm saying is that I think it makes sense to try to do everything first with the assumption that management is on your side, and if that turns out not to be the case, to move on from there. So the company isn't put on the defensive immediately. Of course, I'd carefully document all interaction so there's a record in case the company/management tries to lie/backtrack.

It can be hard, though, to get the initial anger/passion back when if it's needed later. I guess that's where good leadership comes in . . . ? Not my forte, anyway.

 

[lesley&grace]

I think when we react we hurt the cause of Lactivism. The "mainstream" world out there tend to think that we lactivists are crazed zealots, hateful terms such as "nursing nazis" are thrown about and when we go off without organizing and taking a moment to be coherent we confim those beliefs that we are group that should be marginalized and that we do not deserve to be heard or respected.

Sending off nasty worded e-mails may only have the effect of having the recipient call in their co-workers saying "Listen to this lunatic", whereas a carefully worded, articulated and researched statement might make that same person say "Wow, we have to do something about this because these people are organized and this is going to hurt us if we don't."

And if there is a lot of nasty e-mails being sent...then the well-done letters are going to be lost in the shuffle.

My basic statement is this:

Our presentation has a lot to do with whether or not our message will be heard.

Or think of it this way: Someone presents to what might be a delicious meal. In a dog dish. It might taste fantastic...but are you going risk it?

 

[My4Boys]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lesley&grace And if there is a lot of nasty e-mails being sent...then the well-done letters are going to be lost in the shuffle. My basic statement is this: Our presentation has a lot to do with whether or not our message will be heard. Or think of it this way: Someone presents to what might be a delicious meal. In a dog dish. It might taste fantastic...but are you going risk it?

I couldn't agree more. The Lactivist just posted about this very topic. It's nice to see that I'm not the only person to cringe at the poison dripping from some of the emails and letters sent in 'support' of a cause. I've been frustrated several times recently to see posts with potential to make real changes be ignored in favor of posts about whether or not Fiona is going to nurse her triplets or whether my cousin's sister's brother's uncle's wife is going to breastfeed. Not that these threads don't have their place. Venting frustrations is important. But it goes no where if there isn't an underlying desire to make long term social changes and a plan to carry out those changes.

 

[mika85]

i think most, if not all of the mamas concerned with issues such as these often write/type letters, which definately express anger, but not in a way that would be detrimental to the cause. all of the letters i saw that were shared were very eloquent and well thought out and written. i belive that if people are pissed about such injustices, they do and want to respond as quickly as possible: let the offending corporation (or whatever) know that they were at fault ASAP, as long as it is expressed in a civil manner.

i believe it's wrong for someone to take it upon themselves to contact the media, etc. especially against the victim's wishes. it hurts our cause that we are considered "nursing nazis", but i sort of feel like that is simply the mainstream's opinion of us when we get so angry (for legitimate reasons) and we react, reguardless of whether it's planned or planned too quickly. they do not understand our cause and our anger.

i may have missed it, but i didn't think anyone was sending ridiculous, badly-thought-out emails- however, i do agree with the idea that there needs to be some kind of strategy and plan if we want to be taken as seriously as possible.

 

[elanorh]

I agree, Mama24-7.

And I would add - when we "react" we open ourselves far more to similar or even more vitriolic attacks. When we "respond," we force people to operate on our level (well, not in the blogosphere, but within corporations and media). And all the facts, logic, and reason are on our side, so it's very productive to move people into the "response" mode.

Yes, there are lots of people who think that lactivists and bf women in general are dirty hippies, dippy angry etc. etc. - but when we react, we ratify their stereotypes. When they realize that the lawyer down the street, and the woman behind them in the grocery store lane, breastfeed/fed and/or support the bf mom .... that takes the wind out of their sails.

My SIL bfs - with a bebe au lait cover even around family sometimes. She'd be outraged at anti-NIP situations and supportive of lactivism to address that discrimination - but if we 'react', it's far more likely that she'd decide that the mom "should've X, Y, Z" and NOT show her support, NOT want to be assumed to be one of "those bf moms." And she's the sort of woman we're working for, and fighting for, in the end, as much or more than the moms who are out there comfortably and confidently NIP and EBFing.

IMO, the moms who aren't comfortable NIP at all, or not comfortable without a blanket or a cover, are far more likely to be internalizing the anti-NIP statements they hear, than moms who regularly, comfortably NIP. They are the moms who need the most information and support in building up that confidence, and realizing that it's OK (and in fact, good) to NIP.

 

[User101]

Closed pending review

 

[User101]

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