[bstandlee]

We had our one week check up after miscarrying the twins last week. The dr. said he talked with the pathologist and he noticed signs of toxoplasmosis in the twin who had died but hadn't run the official tests yet.

We were so shocked to hear that. We don't own cats, I never had any contact with cats, I never ate undercooked or raw meat...I don't understand how I could possibly have come into contact with the parasite.

It is just so unbelievable...it is so rare to come into contact with this parasite, so rare for my body to actually get infected, so rare for my body to actually pass it to the placenta, so rare for the baby to actually DIE from the infection, so rare for the placenta to separate instead of reabsorbing. It was just this unbroken chain of highly unlikely events that led to the death of the one twin and the miscarriage and subsequent death of the other twin as well.

I keep telling myself it's not confirmed yet...the tests haven't actually come back yet. But to think that 2 perfectly good lives were thrown away because of a stupid parasite that I don't even have any idea how I contracted...and to think it's something I DID (even unknowingly) that caused the death of my children...I don't know how to process this.

And to top it all off, this is after 10 years of infertility, tens of thousands of dollars worth of drugs, shots, dr.'s appointments...how could this have happened to us of all people!?!? We can't just hope to get pregnant naturally again. We were so thrilled with having twins, one boy and one girl. It just seemed so perfect. I just can't believe this happened. We've got to be the unluckiest people in the universe!

 

[hildare]

oh my goodness. no words.

so sorry.

 

[lollie2357]

Oh, I am so sorry. It does seem so meaningless and frustrating. I'm praying you get more clear answers and peace.

 

[KristaDJ]

Toxoplasmosis is actually something that women with cats are less likely to be affected by. Women with cats have usually already gotten toxoplasmosis and built up an immunity. Women without exposure to cats are at risk from contracting it and that is when it causes problems. If you have done any gardening you could have picked it up from the soil or even a sandbox. (((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))) It does seem so extreme and unlikely though for it to kill the babies that way :-( I'm so sorry, mama. I hope you do get a definite answer.

 

[MegEliz]

oh my goodness - I am so so sorry - I wish i had some sort of reasoning to provide you - Please know that you are in my thoughts .

 

[mistymama]

I'm so sorry.

My baby boy Gavin that was born with lissencephaly - they thought it was toxoplasmosis for weeks until special tests came back that I had never had it, and neither did Gavin. He was even on the meds for a few weeks, etc.

I hope you get an answer - I know I went through the same emotions - How did I get this? I caught Toxo and my vet friend (who was tested and was not immune!) worked her entire pregnancy and was just fine? Turns out of course, I didn't have Toxo, and they still can't tell us exactly what happened to Gavin.

I'm so very sorry for your loss - keeping you and your babies in my thoughts today.

 

[bstandlee]

Well, I just got a message from my dr. and MY blood tests came back completely negative for any type of toxoplasmosis infection, recent or chronic. Now I'm completely thrown for a loop again and waiting to see what, if anything, the pathologist finds.

 

[mistymama]

I'm so sorry. I've been there. My therapist gave me this advice when I was in your shoes (in limbo, waiting to find out what happened) .. she told me to please try to prepare myself for the fact that they may not be able to tell me what caused it. I held out hope that they would, but took her advice. I'm so glad I did - they are not able to tell us what caused his massive brain defect. The doctors are split on infection vs. injury vs. genetics - and there is no more testing to be done to tell us. I'm so sorry you are in the same place because it completely sucks.

If you don't mind my asking (and if you do, just ignore) - what made them think it was Toxo? That's what they were so sure happened to Gavin, but we were both negative. I've done so much research on this, ever since he was born last September. If anything I've read seems to apply to your situation, I will gladly pass it on.

Again, I'm so sorry for you loss, and hope you can get some answers.

 

[bstandlee]

The dr. said the pathologist told him in passing that he had seen signs consistent with toxoplasmosis and was going to follow up with the tests. That's all I know. I was expecting to never have an answer, other than an assumed chromosomal abnormality of some sort, but when the dr. said it looked like toxo and now to go back to having no idea...yes, it's hard to not know. It's hard to even go on with the grieving process without knowing for sure (even if the answer ends up being they don't know).

 

[KristaDJ]

(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) I hope you get an answer soon. I don't know why any of my babies died for sure, it's a hard place. <3