This is a similar thread to the one SheBear just posted.
I want us to have a thread to talk about some of the INTENSE EMOTIONS we may be having as we approach giving birth!
Kind of like some of the other threads where we can just get it all out.
So feel free here to just spew it all out and get it all out in a hopefully safe and encouraging space. Be all about yourself and just get it out!
And then we can also reply to anything from someone else or just talk about yourself. Sometimes it helps to read other people's feelings right now!
So here is mine:
I am feeling kind of crazy and weepy and emotional and sad and overwhelmed right now. Also excited. This will be my first time giving birth so I really don't know how it will be.
I have had some people lately telling me about the pain of it and all-and I feel like- do Not tell me that right now that is not a helpful thing for me to focus on.
I am trying to surround myself with peaceful and nurturing feelings around it and calmness.
I am feeling very amazingly well supported by my loving husband. I am leaning hard on him and he is so supportive.
I am feeling annoyed- totally annoyed and kind of sad with my midwives right now though! Not to get too into it- but at this point we are supposed to be seeing them once a wk. But my mw's office is about50 minutes away, and she comes up to a place closer once a month (at the assistant's house). So we always meet there. Now that I am nearly 38 wks pregnant, she is saying I have to drive down there if I want a meeting- and only n Wednesday (which it is going to snow) and not Friday which is a day dh could have off work to drive me, because she is full that day.
I feel like- I would think they would prioritize people who are so close to birth.
Plus- I have never really dealt with the Emotions of birth- and the midwives' place in it- with them. We haven't really talked about that- which I thought was supposed to be the "midwife model". Plus at my home visit the assistant was rude to me and so I mentioned it later to the mw and now I feel like instead of just support from them I feel tension. Which is so annoying!
So I need to have a talk with them, but now we are going to do it over the [hone where I think since I paid so much money to the midwives for their services that at this one time she could make the effort to come to me.
also, the underlying thing is that I have mostly been inclined towards just having me and dh there and having the midwives only if we need them. And I need to more clearly communicate that but they never even really asked me about the feelings or emotions I feel around birth. So I am feeling tension and distance with them.
Which I think is partially connected to the main feeling I am having- which is that ultimately I am going to have to metaphorically cross that bridge with my own strength, and while others can help it is my thing. And there is a sense of aloneness in it and having to be strong.
And I do feel pretty good about it all- and strong and going into it with a good feeling. But right now- I Am just triggered by running into a new mom yesterday who just had to tell me how majorly painful her birth was, plus then running into another friend today who meant well- a sweet lovely friend, by bringing up how people at my blessingway had talked so much about the pain of birth and how she wanted to apologize for that- which was lovely of her, but I had not been even thinking about it and she brought it up again!
So essentially, I am trying to just bring myself into a deep peaceful and loving strong place. And I feel really good with myself and my baby and my husband and our birth tub (which we are gonna try out tonight probably!). And I know I feel most powerful with just us. And I feel irritated that I feel drama with the midwives especially at this point! But I also want their support if I need it. And I am trying to just fele good and peaceful and calm but am somewhat feeling tired and weepy and emotional and a little sorry fpor myself somehow at the moment!
Feels good to get that out, especially to other women who are also about to give birth!
So let this thread be a place to get out your own stuff, and also respond to others if we need to - but only lovingly and gently!
I think we all know that we only need to encourage our love and peace right now.