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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My DD never had a paci. I thought I was just grand. She nursed constantly, was very high needs, I persevered. Woohoo for me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
So my DS, who is a VERY easy baby, has reflux. At 4 months he started taking a paci. Since he has pain when he eats, he won't comfort nurse. It makes the poor little guy happy, even though his insides are all gurgly. So why have I continued to even give two snits that he uses a paci. I still feel a little embarassed. Why do we do this to ourselves? I read AP literature, and always see the little paci snarks, and it makes me feel bad. Certainly not bad enough to take it away from him, since it helps him out. I don't know where this is going. I suppose it's just one of those "reserve judgement" lessons I've learned.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br>
Give yourself a break mama! Pacis aren't all that evil (I know I can think of a TON of things there are WAY worse in my book), and they exist for a reason. Their purpose is so babes who can't comfort nurse, can still be comforted by sucking. And that's your baby! Yes, IMO they are way over used these days (what with the FFing and the "give mom a break" messages), but YOUR poor baby is a prime example of why pacis are necessary! I don't know exactly what AP literature is making all the anti-paci comments that upset you, but personally, if they never mention that there IS a totally valid use for pacis, then IMO that isn't very good AP lit. A good AP mama is attached to her babe enough to realize what works for him isn't always what works for other babies and you have and are doing just that. Give your self a pat on the back or a hug or something! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>soygurl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7246742"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">A good AP mama is attached to her babe enough to realize what works for him isn't always what works for other babies and you have and are doing just that. Give your self a pat on the back or a hug or something! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"></div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sophiesue2</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7246625"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I still feel a little embarassed. Why do we do this to ourselves?</div>
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I do, too. When my dd was new, she would eat too much and projectile vomit the whole feed. I started using a paci when her sucking slowed down. Vomiting stopped. Now, when she is done nursing, she turns her head with her mouth open, waiting for the pacifer. When I am around friends, I do get self-conscious. But, they all know the situation and understand. And thankfully, the pacifer hasn't hurt my supply or her interest in nursing.
 

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I hear ya. I have desperately tried to use a paci on ds when he's in one of his moods where he's got a full tummy, refuses the breast, but is still fussy. He doesn't know how to suck the damn thing though! Pinky doesn't work either for him. I can occasionally get him to take the paci in the car, otherwise I hold it as his mouth and let him lick it and chew it.<br><br>
One day when I was in the store checking out he started crying so I offered the paci and he actually took it! Miraculous for my paci-challenged guy. I was thinking to myself that I'd probaby end up featured in one of those "OMG can you believe what I saw" threads at MDC where the poster would write: "OMG I saw a mama wearing a baby in a mei tai but he had his poor mouth plugged with a paci!"<br><br>
I don't know why we do this to ourselves either. You've got a champion nurser who occasionally needs his paci to relax. Enough of a reason to give those paci snarks a kick in the pants....
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MelKnee</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7247224"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I do, too. When my dd was new, she would eat too much and projectile vomit the whole feed. I started using a paci when her sucking slowed down. Vomiting stopped. Now, when she is done nursing, she turns her head with her mouth open, waiting for the pacifer. When I am around friends, I do get self-conscious. But, they all know the situation and understand. And thankfully, the pacifer hasn't hurt my supply or her interest in nursing.</div>
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This was us with dd #1!<br><br>
You know, I'm not crazy about it, but it worked for her and there are some very great things that a paci can help with. I still always feel a little guilty for being a 'pacifier parent' but I can't count the times that my other AP style moms have come up to me and said 'you know, I really wish my dd/ds would have taken a paci.' Sometimes being babies only source of comfort is hard.<br><br>
But really, it depends on the kiddo. My dd took one and never looked back, we've taught my ds to take one to fall asleep (he wouldn't comfort nurse to sleep, just scream....) but he doesn't like it nearly as much as his sister did.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Don't worry about using the paci!
 

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There are much worse things out there! My ds used one off and on for three months. If it hadn't been for that we would have never made it nursing, and if we were in a car changing altitudes it was the only way to keep his ears popping.<br>
If it works great.
 

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you know, i'm in the same boat, almost exactly. my last baby nursed constantly, and i thought that's how all babies were as long as they were allowed to.<br><br>
well, i was wrong. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
jasper is a real get down to business nurser. he eats, and then hes done. he hates comfort nursing, and cried almost constantly until my dh got him to take a pacifier. it solved the problem, he's now a really happy baby, but i still feel guilty about it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mbhf</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7247981"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
jasper is a real get down to business nurser. he eats, and then hes done. he hates comfort nursing, and cried almost constantly until my dh got him to take a pacifier. it solved the problem, he's now a really happy baby, but i still feel guilty about it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"></div>
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Same here.<br><br>
My 2 1/2 yo. still loves his paci, even though he still nurses, too. I've come to realize that he has extremely high sucking needs, and the paci helps that for him. I used to be bothered by it but since DD was born I've just let it go... not a big deal, yk? He won't have a paci when he's 15. Well, unless he's really into raves or something... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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DD LOVED her pacis. LOVED THEM!! She couldn't, wouldn't sleep w/o them. There were always several in her bed. It was so comforting to her. You could see her just melt when she was tired and was given her paci. She only had them when tired, in the carseat or in bed.<br><br>
DS will not take one. Gets pissed when we try. He LOVES to suck pinky though, and although it is cute, it is most inconvenient to have no hands free.<br><br>
My point: all babies are different and have different ways of being soothed. If a paci works for yours, good for you guys.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>granolalight</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7248378"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My point: all babies are different and have different ways of being soothed. If a paci works for yours, good for you guys.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> Why do we still feel so guilty? I mean for the first couple of days I gave Elsa one I actually hid it from her father. I was so embarrased, me, miss anti-"substitutes for mother".
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>elf_babykins</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7248607"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> Why do we still feel so guilty? I mean for the first couple of days I gave Elsa one I actually hid it from her father. I was so embarrased, me, miss anti-"substitutes for mother".</div>
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<br>
My question exactly. If I take a step back, I feel silly. This all started when I read a Hathor comic today, and I feel ridiculous that I'm letting a comic make me feel guilty. As much as I love Hathor.<br><br>
Thanks for all the responses. Finn says "right on mamas.!!...now where's that paci??"
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>babymakesthree</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7247106"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:</div>
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i totally agree!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sophiesue2</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7249486"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My question exactly. If I take a step back, I feel silly. This all started when I read a Hathor comic today, and I feel ridiculous that I'm letting a comic make me feel guilty. As much as I love Hathor.<br><br>
Thanks for all the responses. Finn says "right on mamas.!!...now where's that paci??"</div>
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Just out of curiosity, do you mind sharing which comic upset you? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">:
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
<a href="http://www.thecowgoddess.com/?s=pacifier" target="_blank">Pacifiers</a><br><br>
Let me say, however, that I fully realize the intent of this comic. It's my own misplaced guilt that was stirred up for very little reason. This thread has been very cathartic for me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>poetesss</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7247354"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I was thinking to myself that I'd probaby end up featured in one of those "OMG can you believe what I saw" threads at MDC where the poster would write: "OMG I saw a mama wearing a baby in a mei tai but he had his poor mouth plugged with a paci!"</div>
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LOL!!! my ds never took a paci, although i wish he would have only because he HATED the carseat, and if he had been able to use a paci in the car i think it would have made it a lot easier for him.<br><br>
dd (7m) takes a paci, and i am very grateful. i work 1 day a week (sometimes 2), and since she takes a paci she is able to comfort suck while dp is taking care of her. she uses it when i am away, occassionally if she is fussy in the car, and sometimes for naps. she is still exclusively nursing (no solids)
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>AugustineM</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7248280"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Same here.<br><br>
My 2 1/2 yo. still loves his paci, even though he still nurses, too. I've come to realize that he has extremely high sucking needs, and the paci helps that for him. I used to be bothered by it but since DD was born I've just let it go... not a big deal, yk? He won't have a paci when he's 15. Well, unless he's really into raves or something... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"></div>
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My 3 1/2 year old still LOVES her paci too. Some days I think to take it from her and others I couldn't care less.. I guess she could do things that would be worse... I too feel weird when other people see her with it though... We are trying to limit it only to home use now...
 

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And you thought YOU had a paci problem. My DD likes to have 2 or 3 binkys one for her mouth, one to rub on her face....whatever works<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"><br><br><a href="http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u165/devster4fun/2Binks.jpg" target="_blank">http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u...fun/2Binks.jpg</a><br><br>
Just one of many, many LOL moments with the joy of our lives, Devin.
 

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dd would actually get fussy at the breast when finished feeding, i quickly learned she needed her paci. ds only uses his in carseat....if i tried to give it ti him after nursing (like dd wanted) it would upset him
 
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