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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My DS is 19 months, and we cosleep, or he startes out the night in his toddler bed.<br><br>
No matter where he starts out the night (my bed, the palet, his bed), he'll usually wake up once (midnight?) and nurse. Most of the time he'll go back to sleep until around 5-6am, when he'll wake up for a morning nurse.<br><br>
So what's the REAL problem???<br><br>
His bedtime!<br><br>
I am reading "the no-cry sleep solution" and finding it helpful, but I can't seem to teach DS about going to sleep at a normal hour.<br><br>
We do the whole pre-bedtime routine - Bath, PJ's,Books, Songs, Nurse - and he's tired the whole time, and then, as he's nursing, he'll seem really tired...ANd then pop up for another hour or two of play! More often than not, the routine works to put one of us to sleep - ME! We'll lie down on the palet to nurse, and then, 10 minutes later, I am out like a log, and DS jumps up and runs out of the bedroom to play with his Abba.<br><br>
Any suggestions? How do I get DS to sleep? he's tired, and we try a routine - but it just doesn't work! (and then I spend the next 2 hours miserable, waiting for DS to finally go to sleep).<br><br>
Although DH is not crazy about the co-sleeping anymore, we both agree that the priority is not the location of DS's sleep - just bedtime!<br><br>
Help!
 

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I don't have any answers for you but I can commiserate! My DD does this too when I try to get her to sleep at a normal time. It's either wait until 10 to put her down, or try to nurse her down just to have her get up to play. These days I go to bed before her half the time.<br><br>
The only time she goes down before 9 is when she had a bad night the night before AND no nap. But the grouchy day is not worth it!
 

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We refered to the NCSS too for sleep guidance. Not everything worked but there were a ton of good suggestions that got us on the right track.<br><br>
I had to stop nursing my dd to sleep b/c it seemed she knew that sleep was coming and she'd get all wired. We do the routine, turn out the lights and lay down with her. If she's awake and thrashes around for an hour in the dark, fine, but we don't get up. My dh or I will pretend to be asleep and sometimes say "Shhhhhh" or "Sleep time, close your eyes" but that's it. Once the light is out, it's time to work on sleep. She doesn't get to run out of her room or find toys to play with. We find a good place for all of her toys of interest (she places them so there's not battle) and then crawl into bed w/ a few stuffed animals and her pillow, sometimes she gets a story in the dark. We say, "Goodnight, I'm sleeping now" and that's pretty much it. It's pretty boring in the dark when your mom or dad won't interact. What else is there to do but sleep?<br><br>
I think it's important to add that we keep it as peaceful as possible and do not get angry with her if she's goofing off or keeping herself awake. We want sleep to be a positive experience. It's worked really well for us.<br><br>
OH also, once we decided that I couldn't nurse dd down anymore (though I'd often still do the midnight one--not anymore though), I got out of there and let my dh take over the nighttime routine. Sometimes she cried in the beg. but I rarely went in. She had her loving daddy to hold her and help her get to sleep.<br><br>
Good luck to you.
 

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Your situation sounds similar to mine. DD will act and look tired. She'll lie in bed with DH while they read books together. Her eyes will droop and she will *almost* fall asleep. But then DH calls me when they are ready for me to nurse DD. She snuggles in, nurses for a while and then POP she's up and READY TO PLAY. We've tried just having DH keep reading to her but she will not let herself fall asleep and will eventually start asking for me.<br><br>
It is SO frustrating. I feel your pain. I'll be watching to see if you get any magic advice here!
 

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Not all babies/toddlers/kids go to bed at a "normal" time. What we've always done with dd- that works for us- is she has to go to bed when we do. If she goes to sleep earlier, fine. BUT when the lights are out and mama and daddy and Savannah are all in bed- it's time to sleep. And she does.<br><br>
(now- we don't usually go to bed until midnight <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"> but it works for us)<br><br>
-Angela
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Angela, that was what we were doing, but now that DS is in daycare, he's up for the day (on his own) between 6-7am. With a 1-2 hours nap, it's just not enought sleep - I can tell because he's cranky in the evening and probably could sleep earlier, if I could figure out how to coax him to sleep.
 

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Maybe try half an hour earlier even? Sometimes if we go past J's sleepy time he'll just stay wired for and extra couple hours. Also/ Or maybe try tinkering with his nap time a little. Good luck!
 

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oh god, what i wouldn't do to get some sleep! i can't offer any advice either...i'm on the same quest as you, with the same obstacles right now.<br><br>
i have a question though....it seems very obvious to me that the nursing to sleep is the one thing that's keeping me from getting any sleep...she needs it to get to sleep the 1st time, and then sometimes many more times during the night to get back to sleep. so........how have you all stopped nursing them down? i'd loooove to know!!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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<div style="font-style:italic;">how have you all stopped nursing them down? i'd loooove to know!!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:</div>
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We started "practicing" at naptime. We started by walking her to sleep and then oh-so-carefully laying her down in her crib (this sometimes took 45 minutes plus! but I had a goal in mind and ** bonus** I was getting a workout). We always talked about it first, "we'll read a story and then mommy will rock you to sleep". There were some weeks when teething was an issue so I'd let her know that she could have milk before nap on the couch and then we'd bounce to sleep. If it was really rough, I'd give in and nurse her but only for a few minutes and then I'd walk with her again. She eventually caught on and it got easier and easier. When we decided to night wean, I had to get myself out of the going to sleep picture so dh stepped in. It started with months and months of walking her to sleep (he got his workout too <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> ) and eventually (after we purchased the toddler bed--sturdy one from Ikea so he could lay down too) he'd read to her, turn out the light and tell stories or rub her back until she fell asleep. She's 2.5 now and does not nurse to sleep. We still lay with her until she's asleep and go in if she wakes to lay with her some more. Let me assure you IT DOES GET BETTER. I spent so much time doubting that I'd made the right choices about sleep (co-sleeping, nursing to sleep, etc) and wondered a few times why I didn't just let her c.i.o like everyone else. My heart wouldn't let me, we just stuck with it and are now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. She is a light sleeper, always has been, always will be (I'm sure) so we work a little harder with her. I'm sure that someday she'll go lay down by herself and fall asleep on her own, but if she doesn't, I won't be surprised, I prefer company in my bed too.<br><br>
Good luck mommas. Hang in there, it's a process but it does get better.
 

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What made the going to sleep part of bedtime work for us was for dh to stay with us. He used to leave after reading the bedtime book, saying prayers and giving goodnight cuddles. Then, just as you describe, ds would nurse for a few minutes and then pop up and want to go to Papa. Now that Papa stays with us he is there to reassure ds and to add his calm voice to the "It's night-night time" refrain. We did previously try having dh just try putting ds to sleep by himself, but then ds would ask for me even more adamantly as he had for dh before, even when he had already nursed. The key for us is to both stay as this seems to make ds feel secure and content enough to give-in to sleep. Ds will sometimes pop-up and look over to make sure that Papa is still there, wave night-night, and then lay back down next to me. Generally it takes less than 15 minutes from lights-out to a deep enough sleep that dh and I can leave the room.
 
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