The opposite of separation anxiety -- when they don't want to leave daycare

Oh my! This is exactly what we have been dealing with. Our DS finally got into the best center in town (we've been on the wait list since I conceived). It has a great playground and they spend a ton of time outside -- especially in the afternoon. So I am always showing up to take him home when he is having a blast on the playground. He does run to me for a big hug -- then it is back to the slide!

when i go to pick up my dd - she doesnt want to leave because she wants me to share what she is doing. there are times i know are her favourite like storytime so i dont pick her up then or i go sit with her and listen too. if i were to say i will come back later she would be soooooo upset. she takes me around telling me all she has been doing thruout the day.

if they are having fun of course they dont want to leave. its not fair you are making them leave something they want to finish - either playing time or some activity time.

one thing i have realised with mine is she associates home with going to bed. she HATES going to bed so she doesnt want to come home. she wants to do something fun with me that doesnt include going home. so either i have a little treat for her at home or we plan to do something fun at home and then she is ready to leave.

We had an episode of this recently and yes, it did give me a pang.

I agree with the PPs though, it wasn't because he didn't want to see me or be with me. He was often engaged in a fun activity, and would have been more than happy for me to stay with him and play. He just didn't want to have to break off what he was doing just because it happened to be the scheduled time.

Some good suggestions I got were to make the time right after you pick your DC up very special, such as 20 minutes of "floor time" playing together when you get home, or to have a special snack or treat in the car for the ride home. Sometimes it helps us to give him 5 minutes to make the transition if he's doing something especially fun (last week he was playing with a terrific train set, and I had to give him a few minutes to wrap up his play in a way that was OK with him).

Still, yes, I agree, it can be hard.

Yes! I always try to remind myself that this is a sign that we've chosen a good caregiver though. When dd was smaller I used to think that her true ideal would be if I would just stay with her all day at the daycare provider's home (or DCP would live with us or some other combination).

Dd is in Kindergarten now and goes to the after-care at school but ds is with the same dcp. She and her children (6th grade - college) have really become an extension of our family. I don't know what she and I are going to do when ds is school age and not seeing her every day!

This happens to me, too. I realized that B really enjoys daycare - and she thinks that *me* with her at daycare is the best.

Now we have a long, involved leaving ritual - one book, get sippy cup, hug each caregiver, sign out....

I've found that having a small snack waiting for her in the car seems to help.

But really, I'm saddest on the days when she runs right to me, blanket dragging behind her and thumb stuck in her mouth - days when a quiet sad girl just wants to go home.

I used to feel "Oh! The providers must think I'm a bad mom! She doesn't want to go home with me" until I was around for the leave-takings of several other toddlers. Big big screaming fits, just like what B used to do before our elaborate ritual was established.