[Sneezykids]

I took dd to the ped/dr as the school requested for a physical as part of the team approach and the ped. thinks dd is ADD. Her teacher and counselor has suggested it also, they won't *say* ADD, but they did want her to see the ped. to rule anything like that out (or in I guess)
We are confused about what to do now. We have been down such a long road with her already, academically, it's downright heartbreaking to see your smart, bright child FAIL in school. The ped. wants us to come back in August to discuss medication, that we should start thinking about it now. It's a big decision. The testing she had didn't have a discrepancy to suggest any learning disability, she was withing points of her IQ and achievement, but this was 1:1 testing...she doesn't do well at all in the classroom.
They do mad minutes, 30 math facts (up to sum of 10) in one minute. The last one she brought home she only finished seven! (I hate the mad minutes and so does her teacher but they are required)
Sorry this is long. Dh and I have started discussing options. Like if we got her into a Montessori (she did preschool at one) where it's small and child led mostly, we might be able to keep her off the meds.
Anyone have any advice, this is really tough to deal with right now.
TIA

 

[rosemorningstar]

Tia

Just been lurking around on different threads today to sort of distract myself from my pregnancy hormones

But, it sounds as though you already think

like a Montessori parent. I think if you have a better relationship with a new school, especially if a child-led setting would benefit your dd and keep her off medication, I would pursue it. Certainly contact the school for a visit. My interest in education is still that, but I love to read different philosophies and approaches to education. I think child-led learning makes so much sense, really. But, I like tending the imagination, also. So, well ... hope this helps!

Trying to retain a sense of humor with a teething ten month old.

 

[alegna]

I agree. Get her out of the regular classroom. As a former teacher I've seen WAY too many kids medicated out of their minds. Classrooms are not set up to be good for kids, they're set up to be easy for teachers.

try the montessori.

good luck!

-Angela

 

[Sneezykids]

thanks, sometimes I wonder if her montessori preschool education had anything to do with this.

I will try to get a call to the school tomorrow.
congrats on your pregnancy!

 

[Sneezykids]

angela, thanks, I agree...and how can I put this...dd has never really 'fit the mold' of the kids who can sit in the class all day and do well, she is too busy, talks too much, is 'bubbly' as her educators say and we hate to see her forced to conform TO fit the mold, esp if it requires meds!

Luckily, she still has a passion for learning, she just wants to do it on her own timetable. At this point, I told dh, I am willing to make whatever sacrifices we need to make to ensure success for dd.

 

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

Sneezykids,
I am so sorry that you are going through this. My ds1 just recently was diagnosed with ADHD for insurance purposes, my family doc doesn't like to diagnose these things officially, because there are so my different types of attention problems. With the help of our family doctor, we first tried an elimination diet to make sure there were no food allergies or sensitivities. We also started on a supplemental program that included vitamin b 12 injections, folinic acid, tyrosin, zinc, P-5-P (another b vitamin), cod liver oil, and a good multi vitimin. We have seen a huge difference in his attention level and hyperactivity. It has been amazing. We are also starting trans-dermal chelation to try to eliminate any mercury build up due to vacc. (I didn't know the hazards of vacc. when ds1 was born

: ) I would find a doctor that specializes in alternative treatments of spectrum disorders. There is a lot of info. on the parents of special needs children forum. I know this is tough to see your child struggle, but there are so many risks involved in medicating children for this, you should try everything and anything possible to avoid medicating her. My thoughts are with you during this tough time.

 

[Greaseball]

Quote:

Like if we got her into a Montessori (she did preschool at one) where it's small and child led mostly, we might be able to keep her off the meds.

Yes, try that! Or some other kind of alternative classroom. Or a democratic/free school. Or homeschooling.

I've always believed in changing the environment before changing the child. And the tasks she was assigned to do sound very boring. How is she when she's doing things she's interested in? A lot of "ADD" kids are only ADD when asked to do boring things.

 

[maxwill129]

I'm so sorry you're going through this!!! I just wanted to tell you that my dh would have fit the ADD description to a T when he was growing up- they just didn't have a name for it then (or maybe it wasn't common). I just want you to know that he struggled in school, but in college excelled and is doing just fine. My ds is starting to show the sames signs as my dh when he was a kid and my dh is freaked. We decided that he would do better being homeschooled or in a Montessori school. My point is is that not all kids are made to be in a typical public school. Some kids will do fine in them, but I think a lot of them won't- it's not a natural environment.

Please take time to figure out your options- don't rush into anything!!! I agree with race_kelly that you should try anything and everything before medicating. My SIL is a teacher and she's told me horror stories of kids who were these bright, fun, bubbly kids before the meds and after were like zombies (not trying to scare you, but just trying to warn you to be careful).

Good luck! Please trust your gut on this! I believe that mama's ultimately know what's best for their babes!

S.

 

[mammastar2]

Oh boy - I just responded to your other thread, saying how I thought your daughter was doing fine, so long as the school was willing to support her learning style. I'm guessing from this thread that their priorities are on ensuring she conforms to their classroom management expectations instead (understandable, I suppose, as it's easier to teach 30 kids who all learn at the same pace and in the sam way, but pretty lousy for you and your wonderful daughter).

I like what Greaseball said about changing the environment before you change the child. Maybe she has add, maybe she doesn't, but nothing you've described here or in the other thread sounds very problematic if she goes to a more individualized environment.

 

[Sneezykids]

wow, thanks for all the input!

What greaseball said about her being ADD with the 'boring' things is quite precise. When she is interested in learning something, she can focus and will retain the information. Like science or butterflies. She loves nature and science and just absorbs any and all information about it. One day she checked out a book on the Titanic from the library and I read some of it to her and answered her questions. Not only questions about the ship but she wanted to know if anyone has ever been to the deepest part of the ocean, etc.
But, sitting down spewing out math facts is not something she is interested in, although we tell her it's still important to learn to count money (so she won't overdraw the bank acct. like mommy does :LOL ) etc.
So, I'm very hesitant to put a label on her. I hate labels.
She is so curious and loving and sweet, I love her so much, I just hate that this is happening.
I'm even more adamant about meds since my BIL (dh's bro) put his 6 year old on them for full day Kindy!!!

My MIL was upset, it totally changed him and now they are switching around the stuff, etc and putting him in a transistion class (kinda like holding him in K but if he does well he can go to 1st) when all the time, I think he is fine! He is a rowdy little boy who isn't ready for ALL DAY Kindergarten!! It makes me so mad! MIL said 'the meds shouldn't take 'all' the boy out of the boy' very sad. But, I also understand it's a tough decision and I'm not at all judging others who do choose meds. I'm just saying I know my nephew is only being medicated b/c his teacher cannot deal with him.
About the diet. DD does have some allergies. I'll look into the b shots and the stuff the one poster listed (sorry i can't remember your name) I'm at work and rushing this... :LOL

 

[UUMom]

I have a child who would **easily** have been diagosed with anything and everything had child not been in a particular environment. That is, small relaxed classrooms, calm & gentle teachers, appropriate curriculm, total commitment from the teachers to allow varient growth , lots of opportunity to play freely outside, no crap cafeteria food (I made all lunches and snacks for years) and I could go on. I *know* my child marches to a different drummer. Nobody needs to tell me that. It doesn't need a label, except maybe to have helpful information and *good* guidance.

What we chose did cost an arm and leg and that's not right, but there was no way this child would have thrived in the typical atmosphere of a ''regular' classroom. We tried two other things ( hsing and 6 mos of public school), and it didn't work as well. Some (most?) children really do have needs that cannot be met in 'typical' settings.

So, I absoultely agree that I would first try changing the environment before I tried changing the child.

 

[A&A]

And the school cannot require you to put your child on meds.

 

[Maderella]

sneezy - gosh your daughter sounds a lot like mine. "add" in math. Loves science, nature, and actually just got to see a titanic exibihit a month ago which she loved. Is her problem mostly in math? Have you read up on dyscalculia?

 

[Maderella]

Sneezy, I just read your other post. I am in Illinois and we looped our daughter for second and third grade too (one more thing in common). She is going to fourth in the fall.

 

[Sneezykids]

Maderella, how did the looping work out for her? Dh thinks it will be good for dd, even though this teacher is known to be 'hard' on the kids (expecting alot) that is, the teacher knows where dd is academically, dd knows her, WE know her and what to expect, etc.
She is behind in reading AND math. We've discussed it a little bit and dh thinks we should loop her unless we can come up with something better.
I just looked at all her school papers last night. An average reading level for first graders in June is 14-20. She was a 16 at the end of 2nd grade.

 

[BathrobeGoddess]

A said before the school CANNOT force you to put your child on meds...they can complain, pressure and make you *think* they can force you but they CANNOT force you! Grrrrrrr...

I was "forced" onto meds as a child (one of the first ADD kids in 1985) and I was so angry at my parents for years...they took my personality away. I was a walking zombie...

Have you read the book "Indigo Children?" If not...got get it and read it!

 

[A&A]

Another thought.....

If you have an official diagnosis of ADD (from a ped), that counts as a "disability" under the Americans with Disabilites Act. Section 504 of that act covers accomodations in schools.

So, you can request a "504 accomodation" for your daughter, since she officially has a disability. You, the administration, the teacher(s), and perhaps a counselor if the school has one, will decide what accomodations she needs-- like more time to take tests! Some students on a 504 get to take their tests orally, be given more time to turn in homework, etc.

So, spin this for your dd's benefit.......they can't make you give her meds, but they HAVE to find some way to accomodate her ADD!

And if they totally refuse to give you a 504 plan, or fail to live up to the 504 plan, you have the legal right to sue. (Note: I'm a teacher, not a lawyer, but I can tell you that schools are afraid of 504 lawsuits.)

 

[applejuice]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sneezykids I Her teacher and counselor has suggested it also, they won't *say* ADD, but they did want her to see the ped. to rule anything like that out (or in I guess)

They cannot *say* it is ADD since they are not licensed/qualified to diagnose a child with any kind of condition. They can only recommend.

I would get a second opinion if I were you.

Screw this team approach, and go out of town to get the second opinion, since most doctors in the same town/city may be in kah-hoots with each other with diagnoses.

 

[aolinsmama]

Please, please, read The Indigo Children, and the following Indigo book which I can't remember the title of, and also Quirky Kids-Dr Sears also has an ADD book that I will recommend, if you can read it with an open mind. (I think I remember in the end he mentions medication-that is why I said read with open mind, it has some good stuff in there too) My 6 year old was labeled ADD-etc. Medication is not the answer-for us-I also feel an alternative school environment would work-it really helps my son. In most regular school environments their attributes (which are many) are not celebrated, but forced to fit into unbendable spaces.
My littlest brother (now 9) is labeled ADD, etc. and has had many scary effects from medication.
You really have to see past the labels, and see things in a different way.
These kids are remarkable, and wonderful, and so very very brilliant. Our society and environments we are bringing them up in need to be tweaked.

 

[Sneezykids]

Wasn't Einstien ADD and a failure in school?

I'll get those books!

I will also look at a second opinion, where they screen more for disabilities like dyslexia. Her school didn't screen for that, just overall discrepancies in IQ/demonstrating. Her teacher has a 'gut' feeling something else is going on as we all do.

The dianosis was this...the Ped said you do a trial of the meds and if she is ADD you will see a huge difference and go 'duh!' (he said that) but if she isn't ADD she will continue as she is, getting worse. That just seems so black and white to me. Like you all said, there are other alternatives. This was the 1st time at this ped. he doesn't even know her, just what he read on the papers I gave him and talking to me. I'm going to look for a developmental pyschologist who can delve deeper and perhaps give us a dx w/o 'making' us try the med route

This happened to a friend of mine a while back. His ds was dx'ed and the school gave him all kinds of crap about not medicating him. He was very much ADD too (the dad) and I knew him a long time, a very unique and funny funny whacked out great guy! These kids ARE special!!
TY for your continued support!! I feel better and I have already started looking for somewhere else .. 2nd opinion.