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Discussion Starter #1
<p style="text-align:center;">thought it would be nice to devote a SPOTLIGHT thread to all of our first-time mamas (don't worry mamas, you'll still get your individual SPOTLIGHT threads).  i invite all you first timers to come answer some questions (and share anything you'd like).</p>
<p style="text-align:center;"> </p>
<p style="text-align:center;">congrats to all of you!</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>-how's pregnancy treating you?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-is it everything you thought it would be?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what are you loving about it?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what are you hating about it?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what have you found completely unexpected?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any specific plans for the birth?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any fears/anxieties about labor/delivery?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any fears/anxieties about being a mother?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what about motherhood are you most looking forward to?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-have you bought anything for baby yet?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any questions for us veteran mamas?</p>
 

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<p>-how's pregnancy treating you? Pretty good. No sickness at all! <span><img alt="thumb.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="width:23px;height:18px;"></span> Just tiredness</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-is it everything you thought it would be? Not at all...I thought I'd be throwing up all the time or something lol I also thought I'd be huge by now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what are you loving about it? Buying maternity clothes</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what are you hating about it? Looking fat not pregnant lol</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what have you found completely unexpected? I didn't gain any weight the first trimester! lol (I ate a lot!)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any specific plans for the birth? hospital..nothing really specific</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any fears/anxieties about labor/delivery? yes...pain!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any fears/anxieties about being a mother? yes...I'm gonna have to juggle working full time and being a mom..worried I won't be able to do it all</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what about motherhood are you most looking forward to? holding my baby!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-have you bought anything for baby yet? oh yes lol anything I find on sale</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any questions for us veteran mamas? I know I will have plenty that will be asked between now and baby time lol</p>
 

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<p>That's a really good idea.  There is nothing more special than being pregnant with your first!</p>
 

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Discussion Starter #4
<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Evergreen</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1280933/the-spotlight-is-on-1st-time-mamas#post_16065127"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>That's a really good idea.  There is nothing more special than being pregnant with your first!</p>
</div>
</div>
<br><br><p>thanks.  thought i'd try something different.  especially since we only have people signed up through february.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>thanks to sara for playing! <span><img alt="smile.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/smile.gif"></span></p>
 

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<p>-how's pregnancy treating you?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fairly good now that the morning sickness is over, although I have the 'pregnancy cold' now and I'd love to go back to having a normal amount of mucous production. I could do without getting up at 3am - 5am to pee too. :)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-is it everything you thought it would be?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I've had one miscarriage, so it's been a little stressful actually, just worrying up until this point. But now that I'm just after 15 weeks, I'm relaxing a little more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what are you loving about it?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The anticipation for an entire life change. I love moving to new cities/countries taking on new challenges and being creative. So, entering the world of pregnancy and then motherhood seems like a great adventure fraught with danger and reward. Just with less dragons/gold and more diapers/hugs. I think it's pretty cool that I'm making a people. :)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what are you hating about it?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Not so much hate, but I miss scotch. I've allowed myself a glass of wine a week, so I'm not in dire straights but I'll be happy when I'm not counting the days until I can have a glass without worrying. Not being able to clean the cat litter is a pain because I've been working from home, so when she goes I have to wait it out until my husband comes home. I also am not fond of dairy and have been told that the supplements are not going to cut it for me, so I have to eat a pile. Even the lactose free stuff makes me bloaty. Ugh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what have you found completely unexpected?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My husband has been amazingly sweet, which is not totally unexpected, but he's over the top cute! He stock piled little bags of chips in his closet for when I have a craving so he can appear magic when I ask for one and it just shows up in my hands (he doesn't know I know - but I was putting his underwear away and I saw them). Whenever he sees me naked, he smiles big and runs over and kisses my belly even though I don't look pregnant, just fat right now. He's decided that it's okay that I don't want to circumcise if we have a boy even though he personally wants to because he is and he's having an emotionally hard time with the baby looking different than him. Overall, big score for the husband.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any specific plans for the birth?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>We have a birthing center at the hospital that we're delivering in. I'm not going in with expectations because I've never had labour pain before, so I don't know how intense it's going to be. I'll see how it goes in terms of drugs. I have a doula (my rad sister in law) who is going to be at the birth, my Mom is hoping to be there along with my husband. You get to have friends in the room for the part before delivery, so I want to have a baby party for as long as they'll let me. :)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any fears/anxieties about labor/delivery?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I have heard that you might poop in front of people while delivering. Pain I can handle, pooping in front of people - not so much.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any fears/anxieties about being a mother?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mostly finding people I can trust to watch the baby when I'm doing photo shoots or whatnot. We have no family around us, so we're going to have to create a community for ourselves. I'm a little on the more bizarre end of the spectrum and none of our friends have kids, so I'm worried about finding Mom friends that I like so that the baby can meet other babies. I only really want one kid, so I'm going to have to try extra hard to have them socialized.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what about motherhood are you most looking forward to?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Watching the baby develop and learn. Teaching it new things. Seeing it get a personality.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-have you bought anything for baby yet?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Piles and piles. I have a crib, changing table, all the unisex clothes I could find that have skulls and crossbones on them. I'm basically getting whatever I can while I have a full time job to pay for it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any questions for us veteran mamas?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What breast pumps do you like the most? How did you find sex after the 2nd trimester? How much time would you set aside for yourself for maternity leave if you had the option of not returning to work?</p>
 

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<p>Ooh, I like this one!  :)</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-how's pregnancy treating you?</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Much better now, thanks!  My first trimester morning sickness was awful.  I lost a bunch of weight.  Not fun.  My biggest complaint these days is acne, getting up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, round ligament pain, and the occasional nosebleed.  It's so easy compared to just a month ago!</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-is it everything you thought it would be?</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>All the reading in the world can't prepare you for what it's like to actually be pregnant.  On top of that, I honestly wasn't expecting all the myriad tiny side effects that come with pregnancy.  I think most of my time researching pregnancy stuff these days is spent looking up some random thing I'm experiencing and then going "oh, good - I'm not crazy.  Just another symptom."  (seriously - nosebleeds?  Wasn't expecting those...)  But by and large, I am enjoying the process... in part, I'm learning new stuff, and that is *always* awesome for me.  It's also a great experience I'm sharing with my husband.  I admit, the prospect of pregnancy kind of scared me, before-the-fact... but I'm doing great so far! </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-what are you loving about it?</strong></p>
<p>learning new stuff! </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-what are you hating about it?</strong></p>
<p>I'm the only person in our circle of friends who is even planning to have kids.  I'm kind of out in the cold, in some ways here.  I've also always tended to have more guy friends than girl friends, and the pregnancy is kind of alienating in that regard.  I'm hoping to connect with more area families through our birth classes, etc.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-what have you found completely unexpected?</strong></p>
<p>The 8 million side effects.  The fact that I'm *barely* showing at this point, and can still hide it.  Some folks at work don't know yet!  I'm actually surprised at how hard it is to tell some people...</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-any specific plans for the birth?</strong></p>
<p>We know that birth is something that can't really... be controlled.  We're going in hoping for an unmedicated birth.  We have midwives through our local hospital, and a doula we've hired to help out with all of that. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-any fears/anxieties about labor/delivery?</strong></p>
<p>My mom had to have an emergency c-section with my brother for a prolapsed cord.  It was a bad experience, to say the least.  She didn't respond correctly to the general anesthesia, so was still awake (and feeling) through the surgery (though unable to move or let the doctors know what was going on).  I'm sort of terrified of having to have a c-section for that reason.  On a less traumatic note, I'm also a bit nervous about being able to deal with the pain through an unmedicated birth. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-any fears/anxieties about being a mother?</strong></p>
<p>My biggest anxieties are regarding the extended family.  It's a first grandkid for my inlaws, and they live nearby.  I'm a bit worried about boundaries and personal space/time.  I'm also not looking forward to discussions between me and my husband about differences in how we want to raise our kids.  I know it's a discussion that needs to happen, though!  Honestly, those are my biggest worries at this point - so I think I'm doing okay!</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-what about motherhood are you most looking forward to?</strong></p>
<p>Passing on my... sense of wonder.  Sharing my values, my imagination, all of it.  That bit comes a little later, though.  In the meantime, I agree with Sara - It still hasn't all dawned on me, but I know my world is going to change the first time I hold that kid.  Or maybe the second, when I'm a bit less tired and worn out from labor.  ;)</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-have you bought anything for baby yet?</strong></p>
<p>Not a darn thing.  Seriously.  We have, however, assigned projects to friends.  One friend is making a mobile out of crocheted monsters, for instance (check out the creepy cute crochet book).</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-any questions for us veteran mamas?</strong></p>
<p>What was the hardest part of pregnancy for you? </p>
<p>What was the biggest change in your marriage after the birth of your first? </p>
<p>What was the hardest adjustment for you?</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">
<p>I'll bite, cause these questions were different from my spotlight :)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-how's pregnancy treating you? Much better now that just a couple weeks ago. The mood swings are a little intense, though the high's seem to be higher than the lows, thankfully. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>-is it everything you thought it would be? I wasn't expecting it to be quite so uncomfortable so early on. I mean I know morning sickness and everything, but I'm just... uncomfortable. The only thing I want to wear is pyjamas, which really isn't an option at work and school. I also wasn't expecting the apathy and sleepiness. School has just stopped mattering so much and when I have a moment of free time to myself I take a nap. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what are you loving about it? I am loving the fact that I am making a person. Hearing the heartbeat blew my mind. I am loving how adorable and supportive and awesome my DH is. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what are you hating about it? The uncomfortableness and irritability and complete lack of sex drive.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what have you found completely unexpected? The complete lack of sex drive. I'm sitting here tapping my foot going, ok, second trimester, where's my libido at?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any specific plans for the birth? We are going to a Birth Center in the city. Other than that we haven't really discussed it, I am taking this as it comes, trying to be in the moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any fears/anxieties about labor/delivery? Oddly enough, not really. I feel like I am making all the best possible choices, so in getting a natural experience I won't be exposed to the things that really scare me, like epsiostomies and all the interventions in the hospital. Having to maybe go to the hospital is the most stressful idea. I am a little worried about my mom. I invited her before I realized we have some VERY different ideas about birth, like NO I will NOT be getting an IV the minute I get there. Hopefully we'll work it all out before it comes to it, but I have made it very clear that if she doesn't respect my choices, she doesn't get to come.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any fears/anxieties about being a mother? Oddly enough, I worry the most about two things: That I will drop  or injure the baby and how my cats are going to adjust.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what about motherhood are you most looking forward to? Everything. Except the snot, my husband has volunteered to do all snotsucking duty :p I am looking forward to breastfeeding, and the baby smell, and watching it sleep, and carrying it around, and watching it grow and learn and become a person. I can't wait to teach it things, and read to it, and... you get the idea :)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-have you bought anything for baby yet? Nope, nothing since our good luck socks we bought while TTC. I have however, done substantial work on my green registry list.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any questions for us veteran mamas? Not off the top of my head. I sure do learn a lot on these boards though, it's so nice to have this kind of support group :)</p>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
<br><br>
 

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<p>-how's pregnancy treating you? Great! I have had no sickness, the only negative thing has been pregnancy acne-yuck!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-is it everything you thought it would be?Not really, I thought I would have every symptom in the book and I don't. I don't even really 'feel' pregnant yet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what are you loving about it? Just knowing there is a growing baby inside me :)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what are you hating about it? The acne! Go away!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what have you found completely unexpected? How fast it is flying by!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any specific plans for the birth? I don't want an IV or an Epi. I want to be able to walk around and crouch on all fours. I want to go as natural as possible.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any fears/anxieties about labor/delivery? Having to have a C-Section is my worst fear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any fears/anxieties about being a mother? I have researched about babies since I was a teen. I swore I knew EVERYTHING about being a great mother, and now that I am going to become one, I just have no clue! Its like all my knowledge flew out the window with the first BFP.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what about motherhood are you most looking forward to? Everything!!!!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-have you bought anything for baby yet? Just one outfit for a girl, even though I *think* it's a boy. Oops! We have gotten lots of hand me downs, which is awesome.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any questions for us veteran mamas?<span style="display:none;">  Do y Do Do</span></p>
 

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Discussion Starter #9
<p><span><img alt="bump.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/bump.gif" style="width:48px;height:17px;"></span></p>
 

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<p>-how's pregnancy treating you?  So far, so good.  I've had a lot of fatigue, and some nausea, but nothing unmanageable, and I'm really enjoying this so far.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-is it everything you thought it would be?  I don't think I expected sitting around gestating to be as physically demanding as it has turned out to be.  It's a good kind of demanding, though.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what are you loving about it?  Just being pregnant after years of trying and loss.  The fact that I'm in the second trimester, with TWINS, is blowing my mind daily. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what are you hating about it?  All of the things I don't have control over: money issues, work issues, that sort of thing. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what have you found completely unexpected?  I think I expected to be more emotional, hormonal, moody, SOMETHING.  I'm feeling very calm and very centered and peaceful, which is really not a normal state of affairs for me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any specific plans for the birth?  It will be a hospital birth, but we're still interviewing various midwifery and obstetric practices.  I'm crossing everything I have that it will be an uncomplicated vaginal delivery, after 37 weeks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any fears/anxieties about labor/delivery?  Preterm labor is a big fear for me, as is needing an emergency c-section.  If that's how things have to be, I'll deal with it, I know, but thinking about it in the abstract is scary.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any fears/anxieties about being a mother?  I'm nervous about being a first-time mother to two helpless, tiny babies.  Of course, the benefit is that I won't have anything to compare it with.  I think that some of my ideas about parenting are going to be challenged by multiples in a way that they wouldn't have been if this were a singleton pregnancy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what about motherhood are you most looking forward to?  Cuddling and laughing and sharing the things that I love with my babies.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-have you bought anything for baby yet?  No - I have lingering infertility superstition about buying for baby.  Now that I'm officially in the second trimester, though, I suppose I should start thinking about it!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any questions for us veteran mamas?  I'm sure I'm going to have a million of them - my mind is blank right now, though!</p>
<p> </p>
<p><br><br>
This was a great idea - thanks for doing it!</p>
 

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<p> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-how's pregnancy treating you?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Okay. I have my good days and my bad days. </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-is it everything you thought it would be?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Honestly, I thought I would enjoy it more. </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-what are you loving about it?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Showing, Checking out how my baby is developing week to week, Hearing the heartbeat.</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-what are you hating about it?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Nausea, Anxiety about something being wrong, Tiredness, Peeing in the middle of the night, Non-existent sex drive, Nightmares.</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-what have you found completely unexpected?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">I guess I didn't realize I would have this much anxiety. It shouldn't have surprised me, since I have huge anxiety issues non-pregnant. I also was hoping my sex drive would increase, since it normally sucks, but it has gotten even worse. </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-any specific plans for the birth?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Hospital, plus a possible doula. </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-any fears/anxieties about labor/delivery?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Pre-term labor, C-section, Doctor not listening to me. </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-any fears/anxieties about being a mother?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Affording for me to stay home for a year. </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-what about motherhood are you most looking forward to?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Cuddling my new baby. <img alt="heartbeat.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/heartbeat.gif"></p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-have you bought anything for baby yet?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Yes, lots of stuff! </p>
 

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<p><br>
 </p>
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>kamalynsky</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1280933/the-spotlight-is-on-1st-time-mamas#post_16066027"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>Ooh, I like this one!  :)</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-how's pregnancy treating you?</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Much better now, thanks!  My first trimester morning sickness was awful.  I lost a bunch of weight.  Not fun.  My biggest complaint these days is acne, getting up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, round ligament pain, and the occasional nosebleed.  It's so easy compared to just a month ago!</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-is it everything you thought it would be?</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>All the reading in the world can't prepare you for what it's like to actually be pregnant.  On top of that, I honestly wasn't expecting all the myriad tiny side effects that come with pregnancy.  I think most of my time researching pregnancy stuff these days is spent looking up some random thing I'm experiencing and then going "oh, good - I'm not crazy.  Just another symptom."  (seriously - nosebleeds?  Wasn't expecting those...)  But by and large, I am enjoying the process... in part, I'm learning new stuff, and that is *always* awesome for me.  It's also a great experience I'm sharing with my husband.  I admit, the prospect of pregnancy kind of scared me, before-the-fact... but I'm doing great so far! </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-what are you loving about it?</strong></p>
<p>learning new stuff! </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-what are you hating about it?</strong></p>
<p>I'm the only person in our circle of friends who is even planning to have kids.  I'm kind of out in the cold, in some ways here.  I've also always tended to have more guy friends than girl friends, and the pregnancy is kind of alienating in that regard.  I'm hoping to connect with more area families through our birth classes, etc.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-what have you found completely unexpected?</strong></p>
<p>The 8 million side effects.  The fact that I'm *barely* showing at this point, and can still hide it.  Some folks at work don't know yet!  I'm actually surprised at how hard it is to tell some people...</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-any specific plans for the birth?</strong></p>
<p>We know that birth is something that can't really... be controlled.  We're going in hoping for an unmedicated birth.  We have midwives through our local hospital, and a doula we've hired to help out with all of that. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-any fears/anxieties about labor/delivery?</strong></p>
<p>My mom had to have an emergency c-section with my brother for a prolapsed cord.  It was a bad experience, to say the least.  She didn't respond correctly to the general anesthesia, so was still awake (and feeling) through the surgery (though unable to move or let the doctors know what was going on).  I'm sort of terrified of having to have a c-section for that reason.  On a less traumatic note, I'm also a bit nervous about being able to deal with the pain through an unmedicated birth. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-any fears/anxieties about being a mother?</strong></p>
<p>My biggest anxieties are regarding the extended family.  It's a first grandkid for my inlaws, and they live nearby.  I'm a bit worried about boundaries and personal space/time.  I'm also not looking forward to discussions between me and my husband about differences in how we want to raise our kids.  I know it's a discussion that needs to happen, though!  Honestly, those are my biggest worries at this point - so I think I'm doing okay!</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-what about motherhood are you most looking forward to?</strong></p>
<p>Passing on my... sense of wonder.  Sharing my values, my imagination, all of it.  That bit comes a little later, though.  In the meantime, I agree with Sara - It still hasn't all dawned on me, but I know my world is going to change the first time I hold that kid.  Or maybe the second, when I'm a bit less tired and worn out from labor.  ;)</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-have you bought anything for baby yet?</strong></p>
<p>Not a darn thing.  Seriously.  We have, however, assigned projects to friends.  One friend is making a mobile out of crocheted monsters, for instance (check out the creepy cute crochet book).</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>-any questions for us veteran mamas?</strong></p>
<p>What was the hardest part of pregnancy for you? </p>
<p>What was the biggest change in your marriage after the birth of your first? </p>
<p>What was the hardest adjustment for you?</p>
</div>
</div>
<p><br>
The hardest part of pregnancy for me the first time was the constant nausea for half my pregnancy, then in the last trimester a pinched nerve that didn't let up until delivery.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The first biggest change was having to sacrifice personal time and couple time. The second biggest change in our marriage was me having to cut back on work and be at home more with the baby, eventually giving up my job altogether. It's still a big adjustment, 2 years later.</p>
<p>staying at home with our kid. I love it, but I feel totally alienated sometimes. Luckily I do have a very very part time job that I like.</p>
 

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<p> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-how's pregnancy treating you?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Really really well.  I can't complain.  I had moments of morning sickness that were easily remedied for the most part...  second trimester I feel really very normal.</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-is it everything you thought it would be?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">It's WAY LONGER!  In the movie montages... they take a test and boom it's six months later with a big belly!  In reality it takes a long long time.</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-what are you loving about it?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">I'm loving the closeness with my hubby and the new chapter that's beginning.  We just started to get some second hand stuff and it's really fun.</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-what are you hating about it?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">I miss having a drink or two.</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-what have you found completely unexpected?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">How long it takes.   The shortness of breath... and oh yeah - hubby says I'm dumb and suggestable - and he's right.  I've found myself searching for the right words over the last few weeks and can't believe it's going to get worse before it gets better.</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-any specific plans for the birth?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">No meds, hospital birthing center, hypnobirthing method, and I'm a yoga teacher so I'm going to be rocking the positions.</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-any fears/anxieties about labor/delivery?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Nope I'm feeling really positive about it!</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-any fears/anxieties about being a mother?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Yes, I don't have the best relationship with my mom.  I'm hoping to be more warm and caring toward my children.  Definitely fears in this realm but I do believe I'll be a great mom.</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-what about motherhood are you most looking forward to?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">The love!</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-have you bought anything for baby yet?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">McLaren stroller on sale... and have gotten some handmedowns.  Lots of books on childrearing and birth.</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-any questions for us veteran mamas?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Did any of you choose to stay home when you thought for sure you'd be going back to work?  I'm not sure what's going to happen, but if my work situation doesn't "shape up" I may play a bit of hardball...  I'm not sure if I'll go back to work.</p>
 

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<p>elowny - </p>
<p>ditto on the 2nd trimester sex drive... hello?!?!  WHERE ARE YOU???</p>
<p> </p>
<p>anonyma - </p>
<p>CONGRATS ON THE TWINS!!!  Wowza!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>wanted to add... I do fear the dreaded c-section but it's not on my mind.  I am doing everything I can to prepare to avoid it.  We'll be staying home till the surges are 2 minutes apart and are strong in sensation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There's a part of me, a crazy little part of me, that hopes that I'm so relaxed that we'll have a surprise unassisted birth at home.  Never make it to the hospital.  Hey you never know!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Great to get to know all of you fellow first timers...</p>
 

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<p>I definitely have to agree on the lack of sex drive... it's a totally foreign thing for me to be completely disinterested in sex...</p>
<p>Anna, I'm in the same boat... I definitely fear the C-section (my mom had a really bad experience with my brother), and a little part of me is hoping for the surprise home birth too.  I feel a bit guilty about that, but I still entertain the idea!</p>
 

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<p>Fun thread!  Let's see...</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>How's pregnancy treating you?</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's been...suspiciously easy so far.  No m/s and only a little heartburn.  But I'm in the lovely 2nd trimester now, so we'll see!</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Is it everything you thought it would be?</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's pretty great!  It's maybe better than I thought it'd be, and we tried for long enough for me to <em>really</em> want it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>What are you loving about it?</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eating more (haha), my husband's excitement, my excitement!</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>What are you hating about it?</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gaining weight (not just baby weight!), stressing about future plans, feeling underprepared.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>What have you found completely unexpected?</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>I don't have better skin OR better hair.  LIES!!!!!</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Any specific plans for the birth?</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>No drugs, and trying to find my doula now!</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Any fears/anxieties about labor/delivery?</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Worried about complications that might lead to c-section or hard labor.  Fingers crossed!</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Any fears/anxieties about being a mother?</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>That I'll never be as awesome as my mom (she is amazing), that I'll have trouble breastfeeding.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>What about motherhood are you most looking forward to?</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>I have no idea...but I am sure it will be a great adventure.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Have you bought anything for baby yet?</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Not yet...trying to buy a house (for the baby, natch!) and <em>then</em> we'll fill it with baby stuff!</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Any questions for us veteran mamas?</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>What did you rely on your doula to do at the birth?  What's too much to ask?  What's too little?  I am interviewing for one soon and want to ask the right questions!</p>
 

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<p> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-how's pregnancy treating you?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">So far, so good.  But it's only recently begun getting interesting.  </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-is it everything you thought it would be?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">In some ways, like when my husband is being sweet and talking to the belly.  But in other ways no.  I didn't count on the shortness of breath and just feeling 'full' all the time.  </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-what are you loving about it?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">I love that my husband is into it and excited about the belly, the baby.  I love that it's a wonderful biologic process taking place within me.  I'm like my own science experiment. </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-what are you hating about it?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Shortness of breath.  Not being able to rely on my ab muscles - which I used to do A LOT.  And feeling 'full' all the time.  Prying questions are also pretty annoying.  </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-what have you found completely unexpected?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">That I feel uncomfortable with the prying questions.  I wouldn't have expected myself to respond that way to inquiries. Normally I love talking about what's going on with me.  Now it feels like an intrusion, even though I know folks are just excited and interested.  </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-any specific plans for the birth?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Homebirth with our midwife.  Maybe in the water, maybe not - my body will hopefully let me know.  </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-any fears/anxieties about labor/delivery?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Having to transfer to the hospital.  C-section.  That I will labor for more than 12 hours and have stamina issues.  </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-any fears/anxieties about being a mother?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Yes, mostly because it's just the unknown.  Never done this before! I also worry strangely about neglecting my dogs and cats once the baby is here.  </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-what about motherhood are you most looking forward to?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Just building a family with my husband.  Seeing what the result of our procreation looks like! I'd like to meet this small person, and show him/her around.  </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-have you bought anything for baby yet?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Nope, and don't really plan to.  However, others have bought things for us.  </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">-any questions for us veteran mamas?</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Oh tons.  It's nice to know ya'll are out there to ask.  </p>
 

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<p> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"><span style="color:rgb(128,0,128);">-how's pregnancy treating you?</span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Can't complain too much! I didn't deal with morning sickness (slight nausea; no vomiting), and my most frequent ailments are headaches and backaches and fatigue. Also, those nasty digestive problems...ugh! I've had friends tell me that pregnancy and birth were AWFUL, that they felt the need to warn others about the pain, awkward symptoms, and incredible discomfort, but that hasn't been my experience at all. I'm so grateful to be a mom and am in awe of what my body is doing to grow the miracle inside!</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"><span style="color:rgb(128,0,128);">-is it everything you thought it would be?</span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Sure. I actually am surprised that it's been so "normal" for me, given the fact that it took us so long to get here and I didn't trust my body for working how it was supposed to. I seem to be taking everything in stride, from the physical adjustments to the emotional ones.</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"><span style="color:rgb(128,0,128);">-what are you loving about it?</span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span">A growing belly...DH's attention...the reality of the new life inside :)</span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"><span style="color:rgb(128,0,128);">-what are you hating about it?</span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Having to announce it awkwardly individually to people at work or in the family. It's happy news, but weird to share something so personal...Oh, and all of that unwanted (usually uninformed!) advice and horror stories about pregnancy and birth.</span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"><span style="color:rgb(128,0,128);">-what have you found completely unexpected?</span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">That my body really "knows" what to do to grow this child! It can be uncomfortable, but it's awesome to see. </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"><span style="color:rgb(128,0,128);">-any specific plans for the birth?</span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">We really want to go naturally, avoid all pain medications and unnecessary medical interventions. We're super-excited to start our Bradley classes in January and just started reading "Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way". </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"><span style="color:rgb(128,0,128);">-any fears/anxieties about labor/delivery?</span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Honestly...not about labor and delivery themselves. My main concerns are for the health of the baby and for avoiding a c-section or other major interventions that would affect me, my baby, and our bonding. I've never been afraid of birth, and I'm surprised that the more in-depth knowledge I get about labor and birth, the less anxious I feel about it. I'm approaching it as a lot of hard work I'll need to do, and that requires a lot of preparation...I'm glad we have plenty of time for that!</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"><span style="color:rgb(128,0,128);">-any fears/anxieties about being a mother?</span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Motherhood is a huge responsibility that I'm only gradually beginning to fully understand in these early months. Even now I feel responsible in the decisions I make to choose what is best not only for me but for our child. It's really life-altering...I hope I'm up to the task of helping this little person become the person they are meant to be.</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"><span style="color:rgb(128,0,128);">-what about motherhood are you most looking forward to?</span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Teaching them that life is about love and happiness in word and example.</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"><span style="color:rgb(128,0,128);">-have you bought anything for baby yet?</span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Nope! DH's parents bought a onesie, but that's it. We've browsed, but haven't bought...</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;"><span style="color:rgb(128,0,128);">-any questions for us veteran mamas?</span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:2px;padding-left:0px;">Too many to post here! I'm sure they'll come out soon enough :)</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>farmersusan</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1280933/the-spotlight-is-on-1st-time-mamas#post_16101574"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p> </p>
I love that it's a wonderful biologic process taking place within me.  I'm like my own science experiment. 
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<br><p>Glad to know I'm not the only one to feel like this!  I *totally* feel like my own science experiment, like I'm monitoring the outcomes of a case study or something.  That part is super fun, and I do like relating to my husband all the little changes I've been experiencing and finding out the why behind them (even if I don't like all the little changes... like nosebleeds or night sweats)!</p>
 

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<p>-how's pregnancy treating you? Pretty well, actually. Better than expected. I've had very little nausea, and what I have is usually mild and the triggers (bad smells, stuff in my throat) are fairly easy to avoid. I'm 16 weeks and haven't gained anything, which is weird, and I don't have much of a bump, but I'm enjoying my regular clothes while they last.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-is it everything you thought it would be? Yes and no. I guess I'm surprised how much of a non-issue it's been. First Trimester I was tired and unmotivated a lot, but now that's gone and I feel like myself again. I feel like I will feel more involved with it once I have more of a bump.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what are you loving about it? Some people have mentioned the lack of sex drive, and I'm enjoying the opposite! Our sex life has been fantastic since I got pregnant. My husband has also been really happy and cuddly and loves to rub my belly and talk about the baby, so that's made me feel really great.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what are you hating about it? Not being able to have a glass of wine when I want it, and having to avoid going to the bar/dancing with friends (I just get tired and bored if I can't have a drink too)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what have you found completely unexpected? A lot of the reading I am doing is bringing up a lot of emotional baggage I didn't know was there, surrounding motherhood etc, so that's been tough and interesting. I need to do a lot more self-exploration and meditation about what it all will mean for me. I'm a bit scared of losing myself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any specific plans for the birth? Hoping for an intervention-free hospital birth. They're a bit more into that here in Germany, and I'm a bit too intimidated to try a home birth, but I REALLY hate needles and the idea of having to submit to something I don't want freaks me out too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any fears/anxieties about labor/delivery? I really really don't want a c-section, or an epidural, or an IV, or even an internal monitor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any fears/anxieties about being a mother? Still working on this. I have anxieties, but they're not concrete things I can put into words.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-what about motherhood are you most looking forward to? I'm looking forward to having another member of our family to love :) I've felt the past year or two that someone is missing, and now I think they're on their way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-have you bought anything for baby yet? Just some things second hand from friends. I still feel like it's too early to accumulate much in our tiny apartment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-any questions for us veteran mamas? Other people have said it, but I'd also like to know how the first few months affected your marriage and how you dealt with it.</p>
 
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