[mamas2atti]

As a mother of three little boys, I'm nearly positive I will hear many during this pregnancy. I am sure I am not alone. Please share those you hear as we go along.<br><br>
I already have one, at less than 5 weeks pregnant. When we told my MIL, she looked at me and said, "this one better be a girl or you can hit the road." Niiiiice. I guess she forgot about the fact that her son's sperm decides the baby's sex. Weird, because at my last baby shower (3rd boy) she commented that neither of her sons knew how to "do it" right since she was going to be the grandma of four boys and no girls. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br><br>
What have you got?

 

[annablue]

How rude and unnecessary. It baffles me why people say the things they do. How could your MIL think that was an appropriate thing to say?<br><br>
I don't have anything yet, but knowing my relatives I'm sure I'll have additions to this thread soon...

 

[crunchynerd]

Glad you started this thread!<br>
This will be our 3rd child, and already my sister said, "Well, you might want to consider birth control after this!" as if 3 seemed like too much to her. She's pushing 40 and never married, no births (not that she's never gotten pg, but that's a topic best left alone as it is a hot topic and possibly upsetting) so I could figure as much from her, I guess.<br><br>
But it gets better. DH's aunt, meeting our DS and second child when he was an infant, said "Well, now you have a boy and a girl. The perfect family. So now you don't need to have any more." Then in a disapproving tone: "You aren't planning to have any more, are you?"<br><br>
A neighbor's husband, with disapproving frown, after neighbor told him (my 5 yo told the neighbor, and the neighbor was happy for me): "Hmph. I would be thinking of the cost!" and when I pressed him for this legendary amazing cost, he said "Well you know, their clothes, food, and education!" I told him that nobody but the wealthy pay for their kids education, and pointed out that he wasn't paying his son's college, so that was ridiculous as an argument, and as for clothes, there is such a thing as mom-friend-pass-arounds, hand-me-downs, and Goodwill (which I would do even if we were rich!) and food is expensive, but we eat whole foods, don't buy "Insta-crap" and grow as much of our own food as we can. If we can sell the house and get a place with land, I will be putting in asparagus, elderberries, blueberries, and other permaculture, as well as raising chickens and enough cabbage to put a winter's worth of sauerkraut in a giant crock in the root cellar.<br><br>
He couldn't say the baby would cost a lot, because we have cloth diapers from the 1st two kids in good enough shape to re-use for this one, so no diapering expense beyond washing. We totally breastfeed, so no formula or bottles to buy. And we still have the carseat, cosleeper, crib (which may or may not see use... usually my kids are at least 1 before they ever use one!) and bassinet, slings and wraps, clothes and blankets, etc.<br>
So really, other than the midwife fee, there is no cost associated with this baby!<br><br>
But I really should have told him to go masticate his own anus.<br><br>
If I am getting crass comments on expecting my third, I wonder how the mothers I know with 5 or more kids get along in life? I should ask them how they deal with clods.

 

[butterfly1001]

Well, no crazy rude comments since telling people but have had people say (upon finding out we wanted 3) "are you SURE you want another?"<br><br>
Well, no I guess I don't really, what was i thinking? Upon learning of my first pregnancy, MIL just said "well, I won't get too excited yet"<br>
And this was her first grandchild! The second one she said "oh boy, here we go again". This time we just put a Big Brother shirt on DS2 and let her find out that way. Her response? "why are you wearing that shirt, you're a little brother!". Duh! Then it hit her. "oh my!". She never reacted well to her daughter's pregnancies either. And all of our pregnancies have been good things, after owning a house, having good jobs (well, I'm a SAHM now, but is my first pregnancy at home). Never a happy reaction... Irritating sometimes. But she always gets better and it's because of her support that I BF all of mine, so I don't have complaints other than her reaction to the pregnancies. Wow, that got OT, sorry!

 

[bumminbeachbabe]

With our first everybody was thrilled for us except my parents who couldn't even muster up a convincing congratulations before saying I was too young. I had DS a couple weeks before my 23rd birthday.<br><br>
This time my parents are over the moon and my grandma looked like I told her I was going to prison. She actually asked me what we were thinking and wanted to know if we'd thought about how we'd manage with another. It was kind of disappointing until my grandma called my grandpa in to read DS shirt. He started grinning so hard that I almost giggled. Then I saw how pissed my grandma was that nobody agreed with her.<br><br>
Oh well. I know she'll come around. My parents did after they'd had time to digest the news.

 

[closedaccount15]

This is my second. I am having a vbac<br><br>
my mom said "ob/gyn worked hard to get midwifes out of the maternity ward and now women want them back" WTH??<br><br>
My mil asked me where I was going and I said a midwife practice and she said "are you sure that is the best decision?" no - I WANT to harm myself and the baby and make it a miserable experience, LIKE THE FIRST TIME!!

 

[voicegrrl]

I can totally sympathize with OP. I have 4 girls so it's going to be 8 months of people telling me I better have a boy for my husband's sake. Oh let me get right on that.

 

[SuburbanHippie]

My sister told her (former) BFF yesterday that I was pregnant again (with my 5th). Her response was "Gross." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">

 

[annablue]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>voicegrrl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15394606"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I have 4 girls so it's going to be 8 months of people telling me I better have a boy for my husband's sake. Oh let me get right on that.</div>
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Uh, what century is this? Your husband isn't Henry VIII!

 

[SumnerRain]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>voicegrrl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15394606"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I can totally sympathize with OP. I have 4 girls so it's going to be 8 months of people telling me I better have a boy for my husband's sake. Oh let me get right on that.</div>
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Tell them you keep trying to let the cook long enough for the button to pop out (like on a turkey), but they are too impatient to be born.<br><br>
Loved it when I was pregnant with my 3rd boy, people acted like it was a malady.

 

[voicegrrl]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>annablue</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15395294"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Uh, what century is this? Your husband isn't Henry VIII!</div>
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HAHA! The only throne that needs an heir in this house is the porcelain one!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/ROTFLMAO.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rotflmao"><br><br>
People act like my husband is going to die without a football team or something. The funny thing is that my older three girls are from my first marriage and this baby is the second with my husband so when people say oh your poor husband, I'm always like, which one? My ex and dh are both artist and totally not into sports at all and neither ever cared less about having a boy or a girl, they just aren't manly kind of dudes that would be coaching little league. But if #5 turns out to be a girl, I will feel kinda bad for my dh when everyone gets their periods in a few years. That's gonna be a rough week around here every month.

 

[AdalynsMama]



<br><br>
But I really should have told him to go masticate his own anus.<br><br>
QUOTE]<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I am SO stealing this from you!!!<br><br>
AFM, when I told my mom that I finally got a BFP she said, "Do you like it was valid?" Followed by, "Alright then." Thanks mom!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">

 

[paintedfire]

I told my Mom the news by calling the florist that was going to be delivering her Mother's Day flowers and having them change the message on the card to "I hope you're ready to be called Grandma again."<br><br>
(Long story short: my parent's died within days of each other when I was a child, so my divorced grandparents got a house and raised me together, as a team, but not a couple. So, ever since I was ten - about a year into the new arrangement - I've called them Mom and Dad instead of Grandma and Grandpa, as I had before.)<br><br>
She's appropriately ecstatic, as I knew she would be and the news has already pretty much made the rounds all the rest of the family. Well, one of my childhood best friends just got engaged and my Mom was calling to congratulate her and RSVP to the engagement party and told her about my pregnancy.<br><br>
She was apparently very nice and sounded happy for me when on the phone with my Mom, but she called me a little while ago at work and accused me of trying to steal "her thunder," and then after not letting me get so much as a word in edgewise she told me that it was a good thing that DF and I were already planning on getting married in August because otherwise she could "<i>never</i> learn to love" my "bastard of a baby."<br><br>
Queue Mama Bear instincts. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/censored.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="censored"><br><br>
I can honestly say I've never been so angry in my life, but I've also never felt so powerful. I've only known about my little one since Friday, but already I feel like I could take on anyone who tried to say anything bad or hurt my child without breaking a sweat.<br><br>
So, let's just say she shouldn't hold her breath waiting for an overpriced wedding gift from me.

 

[annablue]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>paintedfire</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15396112"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">She was apparently very nice and sounded happy for me when on the phone with my Mom, but she called me a little while ago at work and accused me of trying to steal "her thunder," and then after not letting me get so much as a word in edgewise she told me that it was a good thing that DF and I were already planning on getting married in August because otherwise she could "<i>never</i> learn to love" my "bastard of a baby."</div>
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That is shockingly rude. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dropjaw">

 

[voicegrrl]

OMG, I'm thinking she's no longer a childhood friend or adult friend. Even if she was kidding that's just crappy and wrong in a lot of ways. Sounds like someone is pretty jealous.

 

[paintedfire]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>annablue</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15396460"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">That is shockingly rude. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dropjaw"></div>
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>voicegrrl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15396599"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">OMG, I'm thinking she's no longer a childhood friend or adult friend. Even if she was kidding that's just crappy and wrong in a lot of ways. Sounds like someone is pretty jealous.</div>
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I didn't even mention the fact that she is having her engagement party less than a week after my wedding while I will be on my honeymoon and is started the "conversation" by asking me if I was "absolutely sure" that I couldn't make it OR the fact that I counseled her through two major pregnancy scares when we were teenagers (not including one termination that I drove her to, helped to pay for, and took care of her afterwards because she was terrified of her extremely Mormon family finding out).<br><br><b>(Disclaimer: I am completely pro-choice, and in no way do I mean to disparage ANY decision a woman chooses to make regarding <i>her own</i> body.)</b><br><br>
It's just as I sit here trying to catch up on my HUGE back load of work I can't help but get more and more angry. This is someone that I have loved with all of my heart since we were eight-years-old. I'm flabbergasted and completely heartbroken that this has happened. I just can't reconcile the person that I have cared about for so long with one who said such horrible things to me today.

 

[voicegrrl]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"> The friends that have hurt me the most have been the ones I've known most of my life. We make these friendships when we're young and naive and as we grow they seem to know our weak spots and how they can easily use and abuse us (now I'm totally talking about my best friend experience.) As a grown up I've had to put serious boundaries on the friendship because it just continues to be the same BS over and over. Right now we barely talk because for years she's done nothing but judge and threaten me then turn around and do exactly whatever she judged me for 10 fold so I'm done. It's amazing what becoming a mama will do for changing your outlook on life and people, I tell ya. I definitely see people for what they really are now than I ever did before.

 

[baglady]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>paintedfire</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15396112"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
She was apparently very nice and sounded happy for me when on the phone with my Mom, but she called me a little while ago at work and accused me of trying to steal "her thunder," and then after not letting me get so much as a word in edgewise she told me that it was a good thing that DF and I were already planning on getting married in August because otherwise she could "<i>never</i> learn to love" my "bastard of a baby."<br></div>
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<br>
Obviously the only goal of your pregnancy is ruin her special day! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br><br>
What is the deal with the bridezillas? I have to stand in a wedding at the end of the year, and I'm honestly scared of the reaction I'm going to get. She's already being a pill about the whole thing.

 

[mamas2atti]

Sorry you all are experiencing this bull too. I'm glad we have somewhere to vent. My MIL did redeem herself a bit today by bringing a card that said she is excited for our new baby, "boy or girl." I really think she thinks she's funny when she makes these awful comments, but I just plain don't. Hang in there mamas (and I think we have a papa here as well).

 

[AdalynsMama]

I don't know if this counts because it was in 2005 when I was pg with my first, but I still think about it quite often. History: I converted to a different religion when I was 16 and ended up getting married at 18 which my parents had a tough time with. Since then anything I do differently than my completely main-stream parents is offensive and threatening. So... I was pg with out first four months later. My dad worked in the OR as a surg tech back in the 70's and is convinced he knows EVERYTHING about medicine because of his one year of experience. When I told him I was using a free-standing birthcenter with a CNM he replied, "Well just make sure you find a qualified OB who knows how to cut an episiotomy AND is willing to come to that birthcenter while you're pushing. Heaven knows your midwife won't be able to." Thanks Dad, really. I SO appreciate your concern, but it's MY perineum. NOT YOURS! Granted, my DD came out smelling like an italian pasta dish from the mass quantities of olive oil and I did tear a little bit, there was NO need for an episiotomy. Hmph.