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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Dd is 9 mos old and recently started having massive temper tantrums. I really thought we had a few more months before this started but it would appear not.
Crying I can handle, what I can't handle though is the screaming like I've been set on fire because you won't let me rip the table cloth off the table at the restaurant. The screaming and banging head into the ground because she's not allowed to grab the dog and jump up and down holding his parts in her hands. The I'm gonna rip all mommy's hair out if she even thinks she's gonna pick me up when I'm pissed about something.
So, what do you do?? I started today ignoring her when it's obviously a tantrum but that doesn't feel right either (nothing so far has felt right with this) She only has 2 speeds, smiling and laughing at everyone or screaming blue freaking murder (and as I said earlier--not crying, not fussing, but I'm on fire screaching) Is there anything that can help? My patience is running a tad bit thin right now.
 

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My DD just turned a year old, and is beginning these tantrums. She's not up to full screaming yet, but she throws herself backwards, pounds the ground, and cries loudly.

DH and I have been mostly reacting to the throwing-self-backwards part. You want to launch yourself? Fine. It's not safe for us to hold you, because we might drop you. Oh, did you hit your head on the floor? Guess you better not do that any more.


It sounds a bit cold, but really, we have found that if we just let her tantrum for a minute, she pretty quickly goes from I'm-mad to I-need-you crying, and THAT we can (and do!) soothe ASAP.

I guess the thinking is that she has a right to be mad, and at this age she can't really express it any better, so we just allow her to get it out. Plus, we don't want to give the tantrum any attention/positive reinforcement. But the moment she's out of the tantrum/ready to be soothed, we're right there for her.
 

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Try to think of it this way -- you're a little creature, exploring the world. You're having a grand ole' time, doing what you instinctively want to do...explore. Then all of a sudden, some giant person comes along and takes whatever you were looking at out of your hand. How incredibly RUDE! You have no idea why that just happened. All you can do is express your righteous indignation, anger, and frustration.

Our babes don't understand why something might be dangerous, they don't get the logic behind our taking something away from them. All they know is that they were content looking at something, and now they can't look at it anymore.

The only suggestion I have is to distract BEFORE taking it away/using prevention. Get them interested in something else, and then redirect so they notice the absence of the original object.

ETA: I'm not saying you're actually being rude -- I'm saying it probably feels like you're being rude to your little one. They don't understand your reasoning, all they know is that you just took something fun away from them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Distraction doesn't work, first she's so damn quick but second, once she locks on something she's like a dog in a fight. 1/2 the tantrums are for no apparent reason, like the dog isn't here right now and I need him if I'm going to walk.
The ignoring the bad and responding as soon as she's ready to be soothed seems to show some promise today. It's troubling when your instinct is to pick her up and hold her but that gets you slapped, hit, scratched, hair pulled and god forbid she has a wooden toy in her hand--it gets you a concussion!
 

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That really is a hard one since kids that small can't understand the why of things. I have always told my kids that they can throw their fits, but I won't talk/give them attention, til they are done. If we are in public it sometimes means a trip to the restroom, or outside until they are calm. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be one thing that works for all situations or all places. I hope you get something figured out soon. I know how frustrating it can be.
 
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