[Carlito's_wife]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/splat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="splat"> Well I have come to the conclusion (in my own head of course) that a lot of you were right about my last post. To get an evap line in 3 minutes is highly unlikely. And given the fact that not only did I not use my first mornings urine but I had just squeezed out as much as I could after just going to the bathroom to hurry and take the test. Well.......to put it bluntly I am about 99.9% sure I am PG. Other things give it away as well. One is of course the missed period, the soreness of my nipples, and also after I had a BFN on friday I had a few beers which I promptly puked all over my living room floor. (Dead give away. I had a pretty strong feeling when that happened.)<br><br>
So anywho. DH is acting so blah blah blah about it. For someone who has tried so hard & even gotten angry at me and said there was no point in being married to me if I didn't want to give him children.<br><br>
I have been with good reason very moody and stressed out today and I had one simple request. I am a housewife. Therefore when I need something I tell him and he has to take care of it.<br><br>
I told him I would like for him to either give me the money or go out tonight and get me a new test so I could take one in the morning to set my mind at ease. He will not do it. A million excuses. He is constantly on my back about having sex with him and kissing him. Which right now I am just not into it at all. But him just preasuring me about it 24 hours out of the day is making me push away even more too the point that when he walks in the room I immediatly look for the nearest exit.<br><br>
Well I don't know if I will even test again. I am not at all excited about this possible pregnancy. In fact I am kind of thinking I may have made a mistake. His complete and total lack of understanding at this point lets me know I am in for the worst 9 months of my life if I really am PG.<br><br>
Great time to think twice.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bawling.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bawl">

 

[noorjahan]

Don't know what to say but lots of <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> to you. And an advance congrats to the pg!!! I'm sure when he will see the <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/pos.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="positive"> he will be very excited!!

 

[DoulaLMT]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">

 

[smokeylo]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shake.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shake"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shake.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shake"> What a really stinky way to start what should be a really exciting journey for both of you. I'm really sorry that he's behaving so inconsiderately.

 

[sapphire_chan]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
Counseling. Your midwife or OB should be able to recommend someone confidentially.<br><br>
I'm worried because what you've shared sounds borderline abusive. Actually, you needing to ask for the money for a pregnancy test doesn't sound like it's only borderline abusive.<br><br>
And pregnancy is a common time for abuse to escalate.<br><br>
This whole situation is raising red flags for me.<br><br>
The Parents as Partners forum might be a good place to go to get advice from people who've dealt with problems like this.

 

[lulu1213]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
for the moment, is there someone else you can ask to buy you the test? (friend, family member etc.) you could take the test tomorrow morning w/o your DH.<br><br>
long term: as previously suggested, you might want to consider getting some counseling, either as a couple or on your own. it could help you figure out a way to change your situation - it doesn't sound reasonable to me that you have to ask your DH for the money. without access to cash, what would you do if there was some type of emergency? (and this is doubley important if you are pregnant or have other children already, who are relying on you to provide for them.) being a SAHW or M does not mean you should have to ask your DH in order to access money.<br><br>
i'm taking some deep breaths for you. i'm sure you'll work this out! it can't be easy for you - not having the support from your DH that you want at this time. maybe try to stay focused on what you want, not how your DH is misbehaving. who knows, perhaps he's going through some man thing. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> realisation about you being pregnant and needs a few days to process.

 

[MyZymurgy]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sapphire_chan</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7989574"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
This whole situation is raising red flags for me.<br><br>
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Ditto.<br><br>
Even your screen name suggests your take a subservient role in the relationship. (I’m probably reading way too much into the screen name.)<br><br>
All couples are different, though, and if you feel comfortable and happy with how things are - then that is great. My perception could be way off. But your husband still needs an attitude adjustment.<br><br>
Could you go somewhere for a free pregnancy test? A child is a wonderful blessing, and I hope you can be excited about motherhood. I’ll keep you in my prayers this week.<br><br>
Please forgive me if I am way out of line, but has he ever been physically abusive? I think it sounds like he is being borderline emotionally abusive right now.

 

[Sunshine4004]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MyZymurgy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7992531"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Ditto.<br><br>
Even your screen name suggests your take a subservient role in the relationship. (I’m probably reading way too much into the screen name.)<br></div>
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Ironic that you said this because I was thinking the same thing.

 

[lulu1213]

okay, at the risk of being very unpopular, i'm going to say that i don't think the screen name is a symptom of subserviance in their relationship. i think people have different ways of identifying themselves - some people name themselves "so and so's mom" (how many of those are there on these boards?!) and how is that any more or less positive than being "so and so's wife"?<br><br>
i'm also wondering if we have the whole story about this. carlito's wife, i'm wondering if there is something that has happened in the past regarding testing for pregnancy (has DH expressed concern that you test too often/too early? could he be worried about financial and emotional implications and perhaps all of this is motivating him to be blah blah blah?<br><br>
we just don't have enough information from that first post to demonize the DH, imho. nevertheless, i still think the OP needs her own access to funds.

 

[MyZymurgy]

You are a voice of reason, Lulu. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">

 

[joshs_girl]

Agreeing with PPs that we may not have the entire story here, but also agreeing with PPs that if there is <b>any</b> sort of abuse (physical, emotional, or mental) you need to get out ASAP.<br><br>
However, I think it's wise to remember (for all of us TTCing, not just the OP) that sometimes our partners are just as emotionally involved in this as we are, but that they might show it in different ways. Perhaps he's afraid to get his hopes up again, or perhaps it just won't be as real to him as it would be the first time he sees a digital "pregnant" or the first sonogram. I just don't think that judging him on this one action is any indication that it will be the way he acts for the rest of your time.<br><br>
Many <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s going out to you mama.

 

[Carlito's_wife]

Wow. A lot of responses.<br><br>
My husband is really controlling yes. Well I should say he tries to be. I kind of have been a wild child in these past few years. Before we got married we split up for about a year and in that time he read some of my blogs on other sites and I know it shocked and hurt him to know I was deffinantly living the single life. I was 24, living in Hawaii, and single. I mean in that year I posted pictures of all the things I did as well as posted about my days and nights all the time. It would be hard for anyone to see someone they love acting the way I was. But long story short after we got back together of course all the late nights, drinking, and clubing 5 nights of the week stopped. But now I guess he knows if he chooses another path in life then I will deffinantly move on with mines. Since we have been back together it has been really hard to make him see me as the girl he met 5 years ago and not the heartbroken do anything in the world trying to forget Carlos chick I became in that year we were split.<br><br>
He is a very jealous person and I do think that sometimes he sees me as his posession more than as his wife. But he has never been physically abbusive to me. He is a very soft hearted person and everything (even things I never knew were hurting him) will break him down. He's like a big teddy bear.<br><br>
I don't know why he didn't want to buy the test. I think it was him just being mad at me for acting the way I have been. I am so very stressed about if I may be PG that it consumes my every thought. I know you guys know how that is. And to top it off the past 2 days I am falling into this depression because I have this feeling deep in my gut that this pregnancy is going to be just like our last one. With the lines showing up so light that you can't tell if it's a BFN or a BFP I am thinking my hormone levels are not rising just like last time. I don't want to have another mc and I am really not acting like myself right now. Of course he will not understand that because it is not happening to him. Like some of you said I think it is not real to him. But to me it is very real and causing me a lot of heartache.<br><br>
He's a good guy. Some women would not put up at all with a jealous or possesive man but I know he loves me and the main thing is that he is not abbusive to me. If he was then I would feel sorry for him cuz he would likely get gutted in his sleep. LOL. Joking, . . . .well not really. I might have to hurt him.<br><br>
But thanks everyone for the comments. And just to set anyones mind at ease, he is a good guy. I don't think he is abusing me in any shape or form.<br><br>
And yes, *huffs and puffs* there is a reason I am not aloud to have my own money. When he says go get a pair of new shorts for yourself, I hear go on the biggest shopping spree of your life. LOL. Military wife syndrome. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Hope to get a better BFP soon or get into the doc to set my mind at ease.