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For me the worst days are the long days when I'm at the end just waiting for someone to get home because I need a break so badly and I'm expecting DH (or someone else since we live with my parents at the moment) to walk through the door any minute, so I'm just hanging on minute by minute telling myself he'll walk through the door any second now and then I find out he hasn't left work yet and won't be home for another hour and a half.
: It's not that he has to work late, I totally understand that, its the expectation thats the problem. I was told an hour and a half ago he'd 'wrap up any minute' so mentally I was ready for the day to be done and to find out its that much longer when I'm so tired I just feel like crying.

Sorry, I had to vent it out a little.
 

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Ohhhhh, I am SO with you on this one! Happened to me tonight too. When DH finally did get home, he realized the kids were truly so "done" tonight that he went and hid in the basement. At least I had a witness to their craziness.
 

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Oh yeah....

I finally had a sit down (actually it was a lay down....we were in bed) and explained to DH that I rely on his butt coming through the door between 545 and 600 for my sanity. I understand that sometimes he is late, but if he knows he is going to be late (a 5pm meeting will make him late, as will a 4pm call from a customer) he needs to call. I don't care if he is late, I just need to know so I can switch gears, toss the chicken, rice and veggie dinner back in the fridge and make PB&J for dinner and toss in a movie or make an early bath. Once DH understood that I need to know his schedule so I can adjust my schedule, things got better. He now calls 90% of the time if he is going to be late. He didn't realize how much I rely on him to entertain the kids while I finish up dinner and have a moment in the bathroom alone.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by PadmaMorgana
Oh yeah....

I finally had a sit down (actually it was a lay down....we were in bed) and explained to DH that I rely on his butt coming through the door between 545 and 600 for my sanity. I understand that sometimes he is late, but if he knows he is going to be late (a 5pm meeting will make him late, as will a 4pm call from a customer) he needs to call. I don't care if he is late, I just need to know so I can switch gears, toss the chicken, rice and veggie dinner back in the fridge and make PB&J for dinner and toss in a movie or make an early bath. Once DH understood that I need to know his schedule so I can adjust my schedule, things got better. He now calls 90% of the time if he is going to be late. He didn't realize how much I rely on him to entertain the kids while I finish up dinner and have a moment in the bathroom alone.
:
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by newbymom05
Oh yes, but luckily that doesn't happen too much. What happens to me is that we've had a long, fussy day w/ a lot of different activities and I look at the clock...and it's 10am.
: TOO!!!
 

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I SOOOO hear you on the expectations.

I've given up. Frankly, when dh says he's leaving in 20 minutes, I add at least another 20minutes to that, b/c he has this leeeetle problem of underestimating his time.
: His job is so variable, that he comes home at all hours of the evening. So, fr that reason, I just give up my expectations, and hope that he gets home at a reasonable hour. I've tried telling him *many* times that I'd like to just have a feel for when he's coming home. I'm like the pp, I don't care when he is late, I just like to know so I can switch gears. He's good about letting me know for, maybe, a day, and then we revert back to where we normally are. So I give up. Wave my white flag. Surrender myself and my thoughts to the fact he's always going to be late, and I'll cook supper with children hanging on me by myself.
 

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My DH rarely gets home before 8pm. Unless we have plans.

I feel for you waiting though. I have the whole day to myself and just look forward to DD going down at a decent hour.
 

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I think the worst is when dh says he'll be home early, gives me a time, and then shows up an hour later. I find myself passing by the front door until he shows up. I had to tell him not to do that anymore...just surprise me. He still does it sometimes, though.
 

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Oh I feel ya (((hugs)))
Dh works a swing shift, from 4PM - 12M, so the kids are *usually, hopefully* asleep by then. Seems like I am always looking forward to Evas bedtime around here, she is high needs!
 

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Ugh, I've been doing this everyday for nearly 2 weeks now. I'm going NUTS. I am a daycare provider so I have 3 kids and then one more in the afternoon after kindergarten. Not only do I have to deal with 4 kids all day long but I also HAVE to keep my house a certain degree of clean(a very HIGH degree of clean) and keep up with laundry and do certain lessons and projects and field trips and such. I am a maniac by the end of the day. Each day I look forward to DH coming home and then the daycare kids leaving and then bedtime. Small goals! I usually get called when he'll be late but it could be 4:30 or it could be 8 or later depending on what planes have come in, who's being dumb that day, whether they are running an exercise or not, etc. Hubby just switched jobs but his last job he got recalled sometimes at 2 or 3 in the morning and had to work for a few hours. Sometimes he gets called in on weekends. Gotta love the military!!!!

meg
 

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This ruins the evening for me, too. I'm completely fine if DH isn't going to be home until after DD#1 is asleep, as long as I know that. But the waiting game is insane. I think he finally understands that I need to know when he is gonna be home because I really do wait on that.
 

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Right with you! Only for me it is a matter of days, not hours. Dp travels and on the last day, I start to look forward to the break that might be coming. Then, 3 or 4 hours after I expect her plane to get in, she'll call and say, "Sorry, not gonna happen today. I'll be home by tomorrow night." I know it is not her fault, but ughh. She's been gone since sunday morning now (it is thursday) and on tuesday she mentioned she might come home for the weekend. I got my hopes up, and of course it is not to be and now I feel angry.

This is a hard job! It doesn't seem right that so many moms feel alone doing it.
 

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I was just watching the clock today myself, thinking dh will be home in three hours, two hours...It is hard. My dh leaves very early in the morning, usually around 5am, and doesn't get home until 5:30pm. I personally think he works too many hours, but his job is such that he is salaried and the work has to get done. His company was just purchased, so things are very busy. I understand, to an extent, but I still miss him (and often am ready for a break at the end of the day!).
 

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most days it doesn't even matter for me dd and i just hang out and do our thing. but oh do i feel you on those once in awhile days. when i just wait for him to come home looking at the clock trying to do activities that will get us up to that point. then if it doesn't happen it's so frustrating. it happened today. i knew dh would be late 9it's almost 10 and still no dh) but i thought i was going to get to hang with my sister who is a huge help. well she's going out with my other sister. at brushing teeth time i was a mess and when dd wouldn't let me brush her teeth i just lost it. ended up crying and yelling that i wouldn't read her any stories. i apolagized but way to make you feel like crap. it can be so aggravating when they don't come home. dh's job is so variable on the coming home time, i'd like for him to let me know. because when i call sometimes he will be annoyed b/c he was in the middle of something. i like padmamorgana suggestion of explaining WHY i need to know.
 

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i dont look forward to anyone being here cuz that's worse cuz you expect a little help when other people are around...i look forward to him going to sleep. even more these days cuz i'm utterly exhausted.
 
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