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Theoretical Religious Co Parenting Issue

596 Views 6 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  LisaSueandBabyBoy
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First off... Sorry I haven't been posting here as much. I lurk when I can but I feel quite bombarded by school right now but I do try to read as often as I can...

Recently I asked my ex if he was going to take our daughter for Easter. He responds with something about how he doesn't believe in God and he's ficticious and he wont be participating in seeing her on Easter at all so he doesn't want to see her.


Anyways, getting to my point... Religion is a huge aspect of my life and I chose to parent my daughter religiously. She goes to a religious preschool, we go to mass, she'll be attending a relgious school, etc... I'm not a 'bible thumper' by any means but I'm chosing to raise my daughter in a religious atmosphere and he's more than welcome to raise her however he wants as long as he respect my religious beliefs.

Theoretically if he has no intention of celebrating any religious holidays with her, wouldn't I be entitled to have Christmas Eve, Christmas, and Easter with my DD? I don't even know where to stand on this issue because I totally respect his beliefs and that's not the issue whatsoever but it baffles me that he's so pro Christmas and loves buying her presents and spending time with her and whatnot but I guess Easter isn't the same b/c all he gets to buy is a stinky basket?
I just don't know. I guess religiously speaking for me Christmas and Easter coincide with each other. They have their different meanings but they holiday is purely based on a religious holiday whether you choose to celebrate it or not.

I'm just looking for some alternative opinions because I'm quite cloudy on my own opinion. On one hand, I don't see the problem b/c he has the right to worship whatever and whomever he wants to. But on the other, it's quite significant to me and my beliefs that I parent her on those days b/c they're relgiously significant to me. I guess I just have a hard time seeing why he makes a big deal about Christmas and he wants to see her as much as he can, but with Easter- I get the lecture about how he doesn't believe in God and I can have her on that holiday. It just doesn't make sense to me
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kaite - isnt he making christmas all about presents? i mean where is the religious side of that with him? is he taking her to church? or is he making a huge hue and cry over presents? i think it is a good fit to share teh holidays. he can have christmas since u r ok with it and u can have easter since he doesnt make a big issue out of it. you can focus on the religious aspect and do whatever ur want with ur child and be happy at least he gives her a 'stinkin' basket
: i mean for both of you christmas means two different things.

technically since it is a religious issue you should have those days with ur dd since u spend it religiously but also understand that is the only fun time one gets a long holiday - esp. when the weekends have been involved. maybe u can negotiate christmas and thanksgiving. or switch over alternate years.
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This is a tough one. I am more like your ex when it comes to religion I guess. I'm not religious at all, but holidays are still important to me. Christmas is still big, not because it has to do with Christ, but more because it is a time of togetherness for our family. I think I would be really hurt if ex said he got to have DS on Christmas because I was not religious and he was. Maybe there is room for compromise here? Maybe you could have her all day Easter each year and share Christmas? My ex and I trade holidays. Christmas and birthdays are split because they are most important to both of us and Easter, Thanksgiving, and Halloween are traded off each year. Try to work out a compromise in advance so you both end up happy.
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Originally Posted by Jilian
I think I would be really hurt if ex said he got to have DS on Christmas because I was not religious and he was. Maybe there is room for compromise here? Maybe you could have her all day Easter each year and share Christmas? My ex and I trade holidays.
I suppose I should clarify. Usually we are more than willing to accomidate each others needs in terms of holidays but usually that's only when were on good terms KWIM? If were not on good terms we tend to not be able to comprimise and then it gets held against me and I miss mass with her (which is important to me) just because of the simple fact were not getting along.

Kinda stinks but I was just looking for opinions b/c I could see it really going either way. I guess it all boils down to him realizing i'd like some preference over religious holidays and the option of taking her to mass even if his scheuduled hoiday.
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Originally Posted by MissSavannahsMommy
I guess it all boils down to him realizing i'd like some preference over religious holidays and the option of taking her to mass even if his scheuduled hoiday.
If mass is really that important to you then try to get it in writing that you get her during mass time on christmas. Negotiate with him when he's in a good mood and get it in writing. I see what you mean and if it is important to you then really let him know that. I wasn't trying to say you were wrong, I was just trying to offer a different perspective.
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jilian
If mass is really that important to you then try to get it in writing that you get her during mass time on christmas. Negotiate with him when he's in a good mood and get it in writing. I see what you mean and if it is important to you then really let him know that. I wasn't trying to say you were wrong, I was just trying to offer a different perspective.
Oh I know you weren't implying that I was wrong. I just wanted to clairify that usually were able to work things out but sometimes it just gets bad when were arguing b/c we can't comprimise about anything.
Where are you in your divorce if you are divorcing? What is going on with custody. Things like this can be taken care of and spelled out in your custody documents.
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