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between my DH and I.<br><br>
It just feels like he is pulling away...somehow...I can't put my finger on it.<br><br>
We do have a new baby...almost 5mos old<br><br>
our sex life is back pretty much to normal<br><br>
I just feel like he doesn't love me as much<br><br>
He is very kind, just not quite as affectionate..he is normally very affectionate. It's subtle...he's a little snappier than usual but just slightly.<br><br>
It's a distance I can't quite identify.<br><br>
We are a bit stressed, 4 kids, looking for a new house, selling this one...moving etc.<br><br>
any ideas, suggestions...I haven't brought this up..I thought it would just go away.<br><br>
With all these kids, 2 in our bed it's hard to talk<br><br>
We don't argue<br><br>
any ideas?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>allgirls</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We are a bit stressed, 4 kids, looking for a new house, selling this one...moving etc.</div>
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i think you said it right here. my dh has a really hard time being his normal loving self when he is stressed, and he is downright snappy when there is any kind of money stress happening. the thing is, he doesn't communicate those things very well to me, so i've just now learned to try not to take it personally when things get that way for a period of time. my dh doesn't like to *burden* me with talking about those things, he feels like its his responsibility to work it out.....but what i've tried to convey to him is that i notice even though he isnt talking about it. this may be similar to whats going on with you. its hard when us women want to talk through things and men (stereotypically of course) tend to withdraw until they've worked through it mentally. i would be just as normal as possible and let him know that you're open to hearing about anything that may be stressing him out.....without pressuring him of course. i could be totally off though. hope that helps somewhat.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
yeah...I think you are right...he was home for a few days and we worked through some things and talked more about the housing issue and laid all the options on the table, worked through soem details and he seems like he's back to his old self suddenly<br><br>
I hope it sticks for a while<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
thanks for replying..my dh sounds very much like yours.
 

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You also have to try not to take his problems on as your own. I know that can be hard to do. I mean, say something like, "You seem distracted. I am here if you want to talk about it." And then don't worry about his mood as much as you can. I hope it stays okay!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Galatea</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">You also have to try not to take his problems on as your own. I know that can be hard to do. I mean, say something like, "You seem distracted. I am here if you want to talk about it." And then don't worry about his mood as much as you can. I hope it stays okay!</div>
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that's a hard one though...you worry about those you love
 

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This has happened twice, now, with DH and me. We did talk about it the first time and this is what DH told me, "Yeah, I can see how you would feel there was something different. Honestly, I have to tell you that I don't really feel 'in love' with you. BUT that doesn't really mean anything... I KNOW I still love you. I WANT to be with you. It's just the feeling is different and I know it will change over the years, so it's nothing to worry about."<br><br>
Of course, I did worry and it hurt like heck to think my DH wasn't in love with me... but he's totally right. We've fallen in love again and been through the not in love again. I think it's sort of the cycle of love. It has to change to grow and mature... and become the kind of love that will keep going WITH us as we grow and change. Ya know?<br><br>
Hope that helps. It may not be the case for you all, but it might help to think of it this way. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
thank you for the replies.<br><br>
Things have shifted again...it feels better..he's happier somehow and we are connecting again. He had a bit of a vacation, visiting his parents in Florida for a weekend while his sister was there(he was there for work) and it seems to have relaxed him a bit...We have talked a lot on the phone...we have joked and laughed and I really am trying to get the house in better order...I am hiring someone to help...he was all onboard with that. I think we needed to step back and breathe<br><br>
So hopefully when he gets back we can spend a bit of time together.<br><br>
and we can make some decisions on this house situation.<br><br>
better go...tummy time is over for baby<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Carolyn
 
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