Mothering Forum banner

1 - 20 of 22 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
93 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
but<br>
my son is almost 17m and has never slept through the night.<br>
not once.<br><br>
i dont know why andi dont know what i should do?<br>
if he goes to bed at 8 it isnt uncommon for him to wake 2 or three times before i go to bed at 12 or so.<br>
its nuts! and of course it HAS to be ME.<br>
his dad really doesnt try very hard, or doesnt know how or something.<br>
And when dad does go in ds just seems to get really upset. Its really rough on me.<br><br>
then once im in bed he will wake at least 2 more times.<br>
I have always nursed him back to sleep but i dont know if i should continue to do this.<br>
i dont really want to wake up so often anymore.<br>
so last night, upon wake 2 i decided i would try and go without it.<br>
well he fussed a bit and i ended up dancing around to some music and he fell asleep. Wake3 was not so good.<br>
he cried and cried and cried...<br>
i tried to say boo was sleeping, mumm will pat your bumm, abcs, i tried everything but he just wasnt having it.<br>
and so on he cried. i'd say he carried on for at least 10 minutes like this.<br>
and me trying to sooth him.<br>
i guess i wasnt prepared to duke it out like that cuz i gave in and decided that it had been a bad idea.<br><br>
so girls what is up?<br>
why doesnt my son just sleep through the night like so many other babies his age and so much younger than him even?<br>
should i cut out the night nursing? And how the heck do i do it. im reading a doctor sears book and he seems to be against early weaning due to its supposed impact on the childs emotional health.<br>
so<br>
its like what the heck do i do here?<br>
surely waking this many times isnt necessary isit?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,173 Posts
I know this won't make you less tired or frustrated, but know that there's nothing wrong with your son for waking up still at 17 mos. When I hear stories of babies sleeping through the night at a young age, I always consider the source: is it a like-minded family (cosleeping, breastfeeding, antiCIO)? If not, then it's apples and oranges for me. If it is, then you just have to realize that all babies are different. That doesn't mean you have to just throw up your hands, though. We used No-Cry Sleep Solution with some success in improving dd's sleep (now 21 mos). I also nightweaned her; however, I tried it at 18 mos. and abandoned it because she protested so much, I could tell it would end badly. And if you keep trying to eventually give in, I think it might be confusing and they figure if I yell louder, I'll get what I want. I tried again about a month later and it worked better. We have a sippy cup of water on hand at night and she has come to accept that and allow herself to just be cuddled back to sleep. I obviously don't have a magic solution for you, but know that at 17 mos. many, many babies are waking a lot just like yours.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
595 Posts
This last Sunday night I decided when dd woke at 3:00 to see if she would be able to go back to sleep without nursing. I told her no and that mommy would snuggle. She was not happy at first and was not settling down so we went to her room (not very well used) and rocked. She didn't even position herself to nurse. I just hugged her and then when she woke at 4:30/5:00 as usual I let her nurse.<br><br>
I am 9 weeks pregnant and It is not real comfortable to nurse her in our sleep as we both get sloppy.<br><br>
I thought after a week or so of her accepting no 3:00 feeding we might work on one of the other 2.<br><br>
Just wanted to let you know you are not alone and at first I did not think I would night wean either but things change. I am still snuggling her and holding her though she likes the rocking chair more than just bed. FYI-she laid right down with me when we went back to bed.<br><br>
Good Luck
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,581 Posts
My son is 21 months and has never slept though the night. I really don't think he'll start anytime soon either. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> mama I know lack of sleep in frustrating, but this sounds to be like age appropriate behavior.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11 Posts
Yes, you are so not alone!! I have had many nights or days when I think I am the only one with a child that does not sleep thru the night! Her night wakings sometimes were almost every hour!!! But, she has gotten better...It is hard especially when all my friends who have children her age AND younger have kids that are sleeping right on thru the night...But, I also know that some of them are believers in CIO, which we are not. And some kids just sleep thru the night. I guess it all depends on the child.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,150 Posts
DD1, 3.25, still doesn't consistently sleep through the night. Her nighttime sleep was much like you describe. I nightweaned her at 15 months, which did not make her wake up less. While at the time it was nice to attend to her while not having to nurse her, I now somewhat regret it. I also believe that nightweaning inadvertedly led to weaning altogther. I got pregnant shortly after nightweaning (hmmm, see the connection?) and then she weaned at 17 months, which I think had everything to do with my being pregnant.<br><br>
Now, with my second, who for the record sleeps much better, I have no intention of nightweaning any time soon. I am on of the fortunate ones who can nurse while sleeping and barely be bothered by it, or realize I am doing it.<br><br>
I say that I somewhat regret nightweaning her when I did because it did not seem to help her sleep for longer stretches and she obviously needed something (comfort, nursing, etc) when she woke. If you can just hang in there, it might just be better for all!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,150 Posts
Oh, and my DD2, who I say sleeps much better than DD1 ever did, does not "sleep through the night." I am happy that she generally does not wake before I go to bed, but she does wake in the night, and also wants lots of nursing in the early morning. I do anything to keep her asleep so I get my sleep!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
178 Posts
Ooh mama's - I am just so very tired tonight and needed to hear that other family's are experiencing similar nights. Ds is 19 months and will sleep through the night maybe once a month... It always excites me and at the same time leaves me feeling more tired than the waking usually does these days - just so unused to it I guess. Ds is up periodically before I bring him into bed with us for the night and it has worked for us for dh to go up at this time to quiet him back down although this doesn't work after the first time... Then it's momma time for cuddles and nursing. We spend lots of time in our ugly cushy rocker/recliner...thankyou grandma! I have been trying to wean from middle of the night nursing because lately if it starts he doesn't want to let go and it goes on and on and my nipples get sore. So I've been getting up and rocking him. Problem is getting him back into bed... Some nights it works, some it doesn't. Been on and off feeling like I'm doing something wrong or need to change something but inside it feels like this is really my response to other women/babies sleeping "easier" "through the night" and not really in response to my babe... but when I'm so tired it gets jumbly, yaa know??/////'?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,177 Posts
My girls are almost 20 months old and show no signs whatsoever of sleeping through the night. I don't bother counting how many times I nurse them back to sleep. One time DH counted 9. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
I'm almost 40 and I don't sleep through the night. I do soothe myself back to sleep though <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> (most of the time <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> ). It's a bit of a pain since I wake up to tend to their needs and then wake up separately for mine (and you can imagine how much fun it was trying to make myself sleep three hours straight so I could take my basal body temp during TTC, grrr).<br><br>
As to how to handle the exhaustion, who knows? I nap with them a lot, but I also have family help in the afternoons so we can care for the girls and do household chores then. For mamas that do it all on their own I know nap time is the only time some have to do any household tasks.<br><br>
Hugs to you! There's nothing abnormal about what your babe is doing, if that helps. If it doesn't, I understand that too...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
168 Posts
Well, I am with you all. My ds still wakes up to nurse and he is 21 months. A good night, which is more often than not thankfully, he will only wake once maybe twice. Usually in the very early morning hours like 4 or 5. But there are certainly nights where I am up at 1am, sometimes 3 as well. And he does seem to wake up a time or two before I get in bed with him for the night. But you know, I really have to say enough with this idea that you have a "good" baby if your baby sleeps well. I know it can wear on us mamas waking up in the middle of the night, but we have to remember that our little ones just need some love. They aren't trying to be difficult. And it will pass, I bet there will come a day when we miss comforting our babes back to sleep through nursing. Or not <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> either way, sleep will return sooner or later.<br>
Everything in its own time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,119 Posts
Ds is 21 months old and does not sleep through the night. My 10 yo didn't sleep through the night till he was about 8 so I was prepared.. . the older one just required less and less as he got older. He would usually come in about onece a night at least to be walked back to bed and comforted. Now he puts himself back to sleep. the toddler wakes up about 3 times a night. The difference is that I nurse him and he falls right back to sleep. We aren't really "up." It sounds like the No Cry Sleep Solution might work for you guys, it didn't work for us because our problem has always been actually getting to sleep not so much staying in sleep mode. I think it is totally normal. Personally I think all kids wake up several times, some kids just go back to sleep (either by personallity or because they know that no one will help them anyway--CIO) without the fuss.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,532 Posts
My son just turned 4 years old (yesterday <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> ) and has never slept thru the night.<br><br>
Noah wakes up several times every night. When he wa younger, he needed help to go back to sleep. Now he just needs to see that I am there and maybe a pat on the back...<br><br><br>
Who actually sleeps thru the night, anyway? I never do... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
616 Posts
DC is 32 months, and until after his second birthday he was one of those toddlers who wake a skillion times a night. DC has always had a tough time with sleep in general... he's actually cried when he was very tired and told me "It's hard to fall asleep." And, although he usually seems well rested during the day, he only sleeps a total of about 10 hours out of every 24.<br><br>
In the last, oh, 4-6 months, I've noticed a change in his sleep patterns. He sleeps deeper in general, can sometimes resettle himself, and generally only needs me to help him get back to sleep 1-3 times a night.<br><br>
And... a few nights ago, for the *first time ever,* he wanted DH in the night and let daddy soothe him back to sleep.<br><br>
I really believe that this represents a developmental process, not a result of anything we did or didn't do. Some kids are at the extreme end of the sleep curve, YK? And maybe it's something we need to figure out how to cope with, and not try to "fix" them.<br><br><span style="font-size:xx-small;">and maybe I need to figure out a better coping mechanism than megadoses of caffiene</span> <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
115 Posts
I just have to say I am so relieved to see this topic discussed! There have been so many times that I have felt at the end of my rope. Of course, DH is convinced that ours is the only toddler that is not sleeping through the night! I am just so glad that other parents are dealing with this.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
178 Posts
So, I just wanted to share that I have been trying to track ds sleeping patterns - or maybe trying to connect some dots between how he sleeps and what all is going on during the day, etc. We just took him off dairy due to a skin thing that we thought was just dry skin... but ala all gone without the dairy. And I was thinking that maybe this had something to do with sleep as well... but I haven't noticed anything. I have noticed that he is more restless and it is harder to comfort him to sleep on evenings when he goes to sleep later than his regular time. This tends to happen when I teach yoga at night and dh is trying to get him down. So we are going to try some other ways of helping get to sleep on these nights! I've also been noticing different behavior at night. He has restless nights like I said. He also has nights where he wakes up screaming and thrashing around - which is kind of scary for me - and near impossible to comfort. I don't know what all that is about and if anyone has any sugg. please lmk! I'm going to search for more on this next... He also has nights where he wakes and groggily signs things and then cuddles up next to me and goes right back to sleep. I am writing all this cuz it is helping me to continue to wake enough at night to be more fully aware of what we are doing together... because I've got an inside feeling that some of his waking can be eased. One other thing I've been thinking about is putting him to sleep in our bed so that there isn't a change at 10-11 which seems to have clicked in his head as a waking time. On the dot... So maybe if I didn't have to bring him from crib to bed... no waking scheduled in his body for this time? I'll let ya know - my experiment for the week <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
14,311 Posts
Have found that it makes life very easy if the nurser can find his/her own way to the nursing. Meaning I wear nursing pajamas with openings, and when anyone who nurses wakes up to nurse, they can just go help themselves. And not wake me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
It has worked fine here ...<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Just a suggestion ...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
709 Posts
DS is 26 months. There are nights that he sleeps through, but quite often there will be a nightwaking or two. I nightweaned him in March, around when he turned 2. I'm pregnant and my nipples just hurt too much.<br><br>
I have learned to keep his nightwaking a "secret" when talking to non-like minded parents. Other people seem to think you're doing something wrong if your DC doesn't sleep through at like 6 weeks of age. It sounds like you're good company here.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,508 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>FitMama</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I have learned to keep his nightwaking a "secret" when talking to non-like minded parents. Other people seem to think you're doing something wrong if your DC doesn't sleep through at like 6 weeks of age. It sounds like you're good company here.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
That is a good approach.<br><br>
But, call me crazy - I broadcast to the world that <i>I</i> have not slept through the night since November 2001 when ds was still in utero. Now he is 38 months, and down to around 3 nightwakings. (Maybe by broadcasting I'm just looking for sympathy/attention...)<br><br>
I just nurse on demand (most of the time) and try to sleep through it. The key is sleeping when the baby sleeps. (Yes, even a 3 yo is still a baby <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">)<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s to you, WWBuns<br>
It does get better month to month
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,976 Posts
You're not alone! I've learned that many babes his age continue to nurse/wake at night. My ds was the same way.... but he's now 26 months and has FINALLY started sleeping thru the night just 3 weeks ago! So, there could be light at the end of the tunnell
 
1 - 20 of 22 Posts
Top