And I'm afraid I didn't react well. Today I was trying to start back into my normal life. I did play group I did children's choir (I help teach) I did my choir practice. then I picked up my daughter from the church nursery. They were all saying the oh Happy Birthdays to Reagan, and then she asked it. So now that your baby is two is number two happening soon?? Okay first its a little forward, but nothing that I would blink about normally. I mean... I'm the pastor's daughter I've been ther since I was 4, people feel they know me and so they do ask sometimes personal questions. And in my mind I was saying... say, oh yeah, probably soon. Or oh we just are enjoying our baby. But nope. My big old mouth nad my crazy brain and broken heart said"well actually we had a baby number two and we just lost that baby." and then it was one of htose moments where you can see the words traveling out of your mouth and you want to shove them back in but cant. And of course I got the dumb foundedthen the oh my I'm I'm I'm so sorry, I didnt' know. And of couse she didn't know. Its not her fault. But yep... I was like oh i'm sorry I know its okay. And walked away. And now I"m upset about it, I'm upset htat I couldnt' jsut control myself, I'm upset becasue of how it made me upset,a nd I'm upset b/c my heart is still so raw. And ... I don't know. Now I'm all crabby and then we have this stupid dead squirral I think it is that somehwere in my freaking roof and it stinks and I'm just upset.