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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My mom is a teacher, currently out of school for the summer. My aunt has two high school kids, also out of school. I understand why they want to fly to Vegas from Michigan to have my shower in July. However, I don't WANT a shower in July.

First off, I'm moving at the end of August. Moving while 6-7 months pregnant sounds sucky enough without having a whole slew of extra crap to move. I would really rather have my shower in September.

Secondly, I'm only 20 1/2 weeks. That puts me at 22 weeks for the shower. I just started looking a little bit pregnant this past week. It just seems too soon for a shower.

Also, and this isn't a HUGE concern, but kind of ick...the place I'm in now is too small and blech for them to really stay here, although I love my mom and my aunt and I would be happy to have them. I just really thought they would come after I moved. But then, I thought I was going to be moving by August 1st.

What would you do?
 

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I'd ask them to put it off. Seriously.

For me, it would just feel too early to be getting all this stuff, and then there is the complication of moving it all, which really should not be underestimated.
 

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This might not be what you want to hear, but if the people who are flying across the country and throwing you a shower need to do it in the summer then I think you need to either A: have the shower in July or B: decline a shower altogether based upon the reasons you mentioned and then leave it up to them if they want to offer to do it later after you have moved.

I totally understand where you are coming from...but I also understand how difficult it is for a teacher to take time off work during the school year. Maybe it just depends on the relationship you have with your mom. If you think she'd be totally ok with it, then it won't hurt to ask. Maybe she'd be hurt if you didn't tell her your concerns and preferences. I just wouldn't demand or expect it, you know?
 

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I see the teacher thing, but... Labor Day weekend? Columbus Day? A post-birth shower in the vicinity of Thanksgiving?

Or, if it absolutely must happen before the move, can people promise to ship things to the new mom's new apartment *after* her move? Because giving a single pregnant lady a bunch of new furniture to move seems mean to me.
 

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I wouldn't worry about the timing or how nice your place is. They love you and want to give you gifts...take the offer! Yah it will suck moving the extra stuff- but it will be fun playing with it in the meantime and will make you really excited.
 

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Hmm...is a compromise possible? Maybe mid august? That way, it's still the summer for the teachers, it's closer to your move (so that piles of baby stuff won't be clogging up your place for too long), and you're a little bit further along in your pregnancy...

If that's not going to work, I would also reluctantly say then July it has to be. Better get started on that registry, girl!
 

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Maybe mid to the later part of August would work?

Would your aunt and mom be willing to help you move? That would be killing 2 birds with one stone - you get a later shower and at the same time they can help you move.

How does that sound?
 

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my mom and sister are having my shower august 8, 10 hours from my house, so i feel you on having an early shower with family from different parts of the country. what i am going to do is go down for that, let them have their fun, and have a blessingway in october. that way they get to throw me a shower, and i get the womanly support i need closer to my due date from my friends.

i know it seems like it will suck moving it all, but i think you will be glad you did once your little bean arrives. if they are willing to fly to you and bring gifts, i say go for it. i would leave everything in the packaging and put it all in a rubbermaid bin the day after i got it so none of it gets lost, or misplaced. i wish my shower was coming here. i dread driving 10 hours, in august, through the south. HOT!

it will all work out. don't stress
:
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by MommyMad View Post
Maybe mid to the later part of August would work?

My sister is a teacher and she goes back to work mid August to get the room cleaned up and set up for the students and to make lesson plans ect.. She even went in the first week a few days a week a few years back because her class list was going to be so much bigger.

I still think though that they should come on a 3 day weekend later on in your pregnancy if that is truely what you would like and your reasons are not out there or not understandable. Or I remember we sent my cousin gift cards and presents to her all on the same day we did a wrapping party and then went to the PO the next day or something like that but it was fun and she got all the things she needed and lots of GC and she was excited about that because she then got to go do major shopping
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by MamieCole View Post
This might not be what you want to hear, but if the people who are flying across the country and throwing you a shower need to do it in the summer then I think you need to either A: have the shower in July or B: decline a shower altogether based upon the reasons you mentioned and then leave it up to them if they want to offer to do it later after you have moved.

I totally understand where you are coming from...but I also understand how difficult it is for a teacher to take time off work during the school year. Maybe it just depends on the relationship you have with your mom. If you think she'd be totally ok with it, then it won't hurt to ask. Maybe she'd be hurt if you didn't tell her your concerns and preferences. I just wouldn't demand or expect it, you know?
This is actually totally what I was thinking. I do appreciate all the input. Ultimately, I can't handle it right now - SpermDonor is making me crazy, it's the end-of-the-year at work and things are kind of nutso there, I have no clue when I get to move and the rent I'm paying now is bleeding me dry...I'm just beyond stressed out and I think adding this to my list will push me over some proverbial edge.

So I asked my mom and aunt to please come anyway on the 17th/18th. We're going to go do an early-ish 4D u/s so they can see her with me, shop a bit, pack so moving isn't so horrible, and just generally chill out. Then my friends out here are going to throw a shower in September and if they can't make it I totally understand, since I'm the one that put the kibosh on the July thing.

I think everyone's pretty worried about me because right now every time I talk to my family I bawl like a 3 year old, about money, SpermDonor, being alone out here - I've been kind of a mess lately. So I think my aunt saw pretty quickly how stressed thinking about a shower in 2 weeks was making me and backed off. But "we want to come out there and check things out."
So sweet. But doesn't require a shower.

Thanks ladies.
 

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I'm sympathetic. My sister is also pregnant but she's due at the end of September and my other sister and mom wanted to throw us a joint baby shower. They offered to do separate showers but that seemed excessive since our family is pretty spread out. I'll be flying out for it on August 1. At first they wanted to do it in mid-July because my pregnant sister is getting really big and was worried about it being too hot and uncomfortable in August. We're having it at my other sister's apartment, which is pretty small and not that well air-conditioned. I actually didn't want to do anything in September because I teach and don't want to travel.

But then the more I thought about it the more I felt uncomfortable having a shower at 22 weeks, it seemed way too early to even think about some of this stuff. So I negotiated with my sister because I figured she could put up with the heat for me (though maybe I'll feel bad for having asked her to compromise once I'm at her stage of the pregnancy!) We were going to do August 8 but then some of the out of town people could only make it on the 1st. So now we're doing it August 1, and I guess I will be more like 24 weeks. Seems early, but we're working with a lot of people's schedules. I figure it's all ok, I think I'll ask people not to give us too much stuff, we're mainly going just so we can be around family. I don't really want to schlep a stroller and car seat back on the plane. If anyone wants to give us anything big we'll ask them to send it to us.

Hopefully I'll be showing more by August 1 than I am now. Even though I've managed to gain like 15 lbs it seems to be mostly in my boobs and my butt and I'm still wearing a lot of my regular clothes. I'm just having major butt crack issues!!
:
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by vegasgrl View Post
This is actually totally what I was thinking. I do appreciate all the input. Ultimately, I can't handle it right now - SpermDonor is making me crazy, it's the end-of-the-year at work and things are kind of nutso there, I have no clue when I get to move and the rent I'm paying now is bleeding me dry...I'm just beyond stressed out and I think adding this to my list will push me over some proverbial edge.

So I asked my mom and aunt to please come anyway on the 17th/18th. We're going to go do an early-ish 4D u/s so they can see her with me, shop a bit, pack so moving isn't so horrible, and just generally chill out. Then my friends out here are going to throw a shower in September and if they can't make it I totally understand, since I'm the one that put the kibosh on the July thing.

I think everyone's pretty worried about me because right now every time I talk to my family I bawl like a 3 year old, about money, SpermDonor, being alone out here - I've been kind of a mess lately. So I think my aunt saw pretty quickly how stressed thinking about a shower in 2 weeks was making me and backed off. But "we want to come out there and check things out."
So sweet. But doesn't require a shower.

Thanks ladies.
I think you have a great plan going on now...
I think your mom and aunt's real concern is YOU, not a shower per say, and you're lucky for that...enjoy their company and help!!!
 
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