Mothering Forum banner

1 - 11 of 11 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,083 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
<p>My parents are coming to visit. I haven't seen them since April and haven't spoken to them in almost as many months. (They're verbally/emotionally abusive...more emotional stuff now that I'm older)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They've been making an effort to get to know DH and putting all correspondence through him. At 8.5 months pregnant I've decided SCREW PEOPLE and have started letting DH handle all plans for visitors and whatnot. I also told my parents to not get me/us anything for Christmas unless they could start to reconcile with DH. (They hate him for God only knows what reason...seriously, they have no real reason except the ones they project)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They weren't excited about this pregnancy (there was a comment made about doing more with my life besides have children...)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My anxiety is up. I didn't sleep last night (went to bed late thanks to insomnia) and DS got up earlier than usual (no idea WHY as he went to bed later too) and DS has been a bit of a trouble maker today. (We've been trying PLing and it's been up and down...today was a down day. He pooped all over the floor with his potty a foot away. No effort to get up and use it) He's also been a bit violent this morning and I REALLY don't do well when he's like that. (It's triggering I guess...even though there wasn't a lot of physical abuse)</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I just needed to tell people that understood.</p>
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
4,488 Posts
<p>oh no!  quick, can dh call/text them and say not to come because everyone is having explosive diarrhea?!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>um, just kidding, i know that's not really going to happen.  i'm sorry this is difficult.  your anxiety over their visit is a good indication that it could be in everyone's best interest (you, dh and kids) to distance yourselves even further from them in the future.  and feel free to cut this visit short at their first disrespectful word or action.  you do not owe them anything, and you are worthy of love and kindness and a peaceful home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span><img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif"></span></p>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,083 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>doubledutch</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1283071/they-ll-be-here-in-about-an-hour#post_16087789"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>oh no!  quick, can dh call/text them and say not to come because everyone is having explosive diarrhea?!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>um, just kidding, i know that's not really going to happen.  i'm sorry this is difficult.  your anxiety over their visit is a good indication that it could be in everyone's best interest (you, dh and kids) to distance yourselves even further from them in the future.  and feel free to cut this visit short at their first disrespectful word or action.  you do not owe them anything, and you are worthy of love and kindness and a peaceful home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span><img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif"></span></p>
</div>
</div>
<p><br>
 </p>
<p>They have a long drive to get home (4 hours) so they won't be able to stay long (thankfully)</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:line-through;">They were supposed to call around 12pm when they finished a meeting (an hour away) and it's almost 1pm and I haven't heard a word...</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>They just called. NOW it will be an hour...*sigh*</p>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,242 Posts
Hi, mama--<br><br>
I so know how you're feeling! My stomach used to chew holes in itself for days whenever I had to see my parents.<br><br>
Remember that they're coming to <i>your</i> home. This is your turf; you're a grown woman and you don't have to let them treat you nastily, especially not in your own living room! Don't be afraid to get up and walk away if they get nasty. Don't be afraid to claim a headache and end the visit completely! If you're not willing to kick them out (which I entirely understand) you can always retire to your bedroom "to rest" and take your DS with you.<br><br>
This is your home. You are in charge here, even if they think otherwise. Try not to let them scare you, mama! They have no real power over you and you have every right to demand that they leave if they can't behave themselves.<br><br><img alt="hug.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif"><img alt="hug.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif"><img alt="hug.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif">
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sweetflyfishfeel

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,697 Posts
<p><span><img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif" style="width:38px;height:16px;"></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hope you're doing ok...</p>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,535 Posts
<p><span><img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif" style="width:38px;height:16px;"></span></p>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,083 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
<p>I'm pleased (and shocked) to say that it went well. No negative comments to me OR my husband...</p>
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
4,488 Posts
<p>whew!  i'm glad that went smoothly.  but remember, just because they behaved one day for a few hours, does not mean you are obligated to whole-heartedly let them back into your life. </p>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,345 Posts
<p>Glad it went well and it's over! Hope they don't make comments after the fact and make you regret having them around. I also totally agree with Doubledutch's comment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hope you do something nice for yourself today. <span><img alt="smile.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/smile.gif"></span></p>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,083 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>doubledutch</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1283071/they-ll-be-here-in-about-an-hour#post_16090625"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>whew!  i'm glad that went smoothly.  but remember, just because they behaved one day for a few hours, does not mean you are obligated to whole-heartedly let them back into your life. </p>
</div>
</div>
<br><br><p>Oh, trust me, we're still at arms length. They have a history of acting "bi-polar" so I'm very suspicious...</p>
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sweetflyfishfeel
1 - 11 of 11 Posts
Top