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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have been thinking about when I go into the hospital to give birth lately and what I want when I do. I will be having a csection and am going to need time to recover. Last time I had one I stayed in the hospital for 4 days. DH is planning on staying with me the whole time when I do go.<br>
So, this is my situation. The first day, I know I'm going to be in alot of pain and just trying to recoop and get situated and get breastfeeding going. The second day I'm sure will be about the same, probably with some walking around and just generally getting the baby used to us.<br>
Well, my problem is that I do not want any visitors for the first 2 days. Say I give birth on Monday. I don't want anyone to come to the hospital until Wednesday then. I want to have this precious time right after birth for just the three of us. My other children will of course come visit during that time though, but I don't want anyone else.<br>
Well, I have very involved inlaws that I know will want to be there from the moment I call them to say I am in labor. I don't want to hurt their feelings, but I really don't want anyone there. I don't want friends or coworkers there during that time either, but I don't think that will be hard to do, I'll just tell them. With my family, it's a little different. I love them and don't want to hurt their feelings.<br>
Anyone got any good advice on how to handle this situation? I know I have months to think about this, but it has already started to bother me.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mommysusie</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7969644"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I want to have this precious time right after birth for just the three of us.</div>
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I would say exactly that, along with that you think it will be an important time of recovery and family bonding and you would not like any visitors until the baby is a couple of days old. They'll probably be more understanding than you think.
 

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Yikes! I know your pain. My parents are all up in my everything! For the birth, I have talked them into watching dd in a hotel room. We have to drive an hours to our midwife's birthing center (we did a homebirth with dd1, but I thought it would be an easier situation with my parents to go to the birthing center and keep them away).<br>
As far as convincing them to stay away for a couple of days, I don't think that would even be possible in my case. Good luck, I hope you have family that is not as thin-skinned and emotional as mine.
 

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I agree with Cujobunny. And, especially with your in-laws, your dh has to be on-board 150% - when you tell them, he should probably be involved in the conversation (if not leading it) and using "we" instead of "she." KWIM.
 

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I agree with Cujobunny. And, especially with your in-laws, your dh has to be on-board 150% - when you tell them, he should probably be involved in the conversation (if not leading it) and using "we" instead of "she." KWIM.<br><br>
My in-laws are so old school that if I said I wanted a few days to get the breastfeeding down, they'd stay away until the "baby" i.e. toddler weans!!!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Get the hospital on your side. Tell them you don't want any visitors. Don't disclose the room number and when they come to the hospital have the nurses tell them no visitors are allowed. I have been to hospitals where they won't tell you the room until calling with the patient and checking with her first. If the hospital is the go between maybe they will just take it as hospital policy.
 

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Personally, I'd exaggerate the pain/recovery time aspect. Don't tell them you don't want them around during your special time - tell them you're going to be hurting and feeling awful and you won't be up to seeing people. Say that you expect to be feeling better by the third day and you'll call them then and tell them whether you're feeling up to having company. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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Don't call them until after the baby has arrived and you're ready for visitors. If you don't call them and tell them you're on your way, they won't know. Then your DH can make the call and say the baby is here, everyone is fine and we're ready for visitors.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Well, DH is onboard 100%. He doesn't think we should have any visitors until we are at home.<br>
I am thinking about telling the hospital that I don't want any visitors and seeing how that would go.<br>
I don't think it would work if I didn't tell them until after I gave birth because my FIL, BIL, and me all work for the same company and I think they would find out.<br>
I'm still thinking about it, and I know I have some time, I just want to be prepared when the time comes. I think my MIL lurks on this board, although it wouldn't be for any other reason than to spy on me, so maybe she'll get the message if she reads this.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br>
I love my inlaws, I really do, and I do want them to be involved, just not right from the beginning. Does that make any sense?
 

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i WISH my MIL would lurk here, she might learn something!!!!<br><br>
i think talking to the hospital would be the way to go. it should be up to you if you have visitors, you really don't want ANYONE to know what room you are in and whether you are awake!
 
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