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I was listening to Tavis Smiley the other day and a man was discussing his HIV status and how he managed to live for so long. Basically he said that he said that from the beginning that his "life is not a democracy." It is a dictatorship, and HE was in charge.<br><br>
I found his story inspiring (for MANY reasons) but I really liked that metaphor. It seems that in our birth culture, so many individuals feel that they have a say or a vote in how a birth should go.<br><br>
I just wish that "dictator" didn't have such horrible connotations, that there was a better word for "supreme ruler."
 

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But I think, many times, birth IS a "dictatorship" in this country. OB's are in charge, period...YK?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>rmzbm</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9881376"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">But I think, many times, birth IS a "dictatorship" in this country. OB's are in charge, period...YK?</div>
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It's more like an oligarchy in that sense, with OB's being the small elite ruling group, or even better a kleptocracy.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>elspethshimon</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9881355"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I was listening to Tavis Smiley the other day and a man was discussing his HIV status and how he managed to live for so long. Basically he said that he said that from the beginning that his "life is not a democracy." It is a dictatorship, and HE was in charge.<br><br>
I found his story inspiring (for MANY reasons) but I really liked that metaphor. It seems that in our birth culture, so many individuals feel that they have a say or a vote in how a birth should go.<br><br>
I just wish that "dictator" didn't have such horrible connotations, that there was a better word for "supreme ruler."</div>
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How bout Queen? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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at first, I kind of felt like my pregnancy and birth were heading down the lane of "democracy." i had so many people telling me what to do - my husband, my friends, the OB I was seeing, my mom, etc.<br><br>
Now...I feel like we have a monarchy. I am queen. My husband and my mom and my midwife are my trusted ministers or cabinet members (based on their love for me and this baby and/or their expertise) and all other opinions are from peasants or neighboring kingdoms that I can ignore if I want to<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I really feel in control of the situation now, and I'm glad I've put the time and effort into research and I'm glad I stood up to the OB I was seeing and switched to a midwife. This is MY birth. It may or may not go exactly as I plan, but at least I'm allowed to have a say as opposed to being a good little patient.
 

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Wow, I can soooo relate. I remember when I was a kid my dad would push his weight around when we would talk back or try to compromise and say, "this is not a democracy, this is a dictatorship!" My first birth was a dictatorship but I was not the monarch, the OB was. It was nowhere close to what I wanted - and there were no complications! So with my second I refused to give birth in a hospital again. My DS was born at a birth center with only my midwife, her nurse and my roommate (who was only there to take pics) present. With this baby I've hired a homebirth midwife - even closer to "natural" than my previous midwife - and we're planning this birth at home. I've grown considerably in experience and education since my first, 11 years ago and, even though my midwife has made suggestions, I'm the one who decides whether or not I will allow it. FI she recommended RhoGam at my next appt (28-weeks). I refused it, saying I will accept it <b>after</b> the baby is born under the condition that it has to be preservative-free (no thimerosol).
 

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I think for now on I'll go by "supreme leader" of my body <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>elspethshimon</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9881398"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It's more like an oligarchy in that sense, with OB's being the small elite ruling group, or even better a kleptocracy.</div>
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Hmm, I'm not sure which one you nailed the description better with, they're both pretty dead-on.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>milkydoula</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9881598"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">How bout Queen? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"></div>
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<br>
OOO! I Like it! <b>This Birth is a Queendom!</b>
 

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I really like my monarchy. My husband is my most trusted advisor with any medical advisors running a distant second to him. I also love the visual of peasants and neighboring kingdoms! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 
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