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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/neg.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="negative"> don't even kow how to start this, I am so upset I could just puke. Why can the only solutionanyone( except here) offwer me is to let him scream untill he gives up or passes out? DS is waking 6 or 7 times a night again. he's 17 mos. I can hardly see my keyboard Because I'm bawling. Isn't being a toddler frustrating enough wothout someone who's supposed to love you refusing to hold you when you're upset? why must I abandon him to the dark, and demand he sleep in his crib? The only reason we're all still alive is that DH helps out at night, so I don't have to constantly nurse him.<br>
I AM SO TIRED.<br>
Why won't they even consider the possibility that something might be wrong? WHat's the harm in checking? I'm sorry, I just need to vent. I know this is just normal developmental stuff for his age. And I can wait for him to develop at his on time in any other area. I am afraid that if I have to wait much longer for his sleep to improve, that I will go insane. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Oh mama I hear you!! I have seen a TON of posts on here from mothers with kids this same age (mine too!) where there is a lot of night-waking. From what I hear/read, this does get better at around 18 months. I know for my DD, her 1st year molars have been coming in, so that's been the issue here. But I think it's also just an age thing.<br><br>
I know that's not what you want to hear -- and if you feel like there is something more wrong, I would definitely push for someone to check out your little one.<br><br>
Lots and lots of HUGS to you!! Hang in there!! I know some days I just feel like I'm walking in a fog b/c I have been nursing ALL NIGHT LONG. This is tough, but it will pass. At least that's what I am clinging to. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Hang in there, you are definitely not alone! My DS didn't start sleeping well until he was 20 months. When I was at the "I am going insane" stage Elizabeth Pantley's <i>No Cry Sleep Solution</i> really helped me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I actually have the no cry sleep solution for toddlers version. I need to get it back from the friend I lent it too.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> What sparked this most recent bout of night waking was a fever about three weeks ago. We'd had him to the point where he'd wake twice, nurse breifly and go back to sleep in DH's arms. Bliss, sweet bliss...Now he's got yet another set of teeth coming in. I 'm hoping these'll be the last for a wile though. when these four break through, he'll have 16 teeth. That includes is molars. 4 at a time, every time since he's been 7 mos. I took him to the doc today to have him look into his ear. I should just BUY an otolaryngoscope. anyone know where I can get one?<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br>
Doc says I have a month ti let him CIO and trust him it'll be much harder after that. Harder than What, exactly? The last thing I need is to hear 'mama!mama!mama!mama!' for two hours every night until DS decides that when the sun goes down, mommy and daddy fall off the face of the earth! Guess I've mooved from sad to very angry. Snarky, sarcastic.....etc. "trust me I've had three kids" Urgh!
 

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I hate that. My ped tried to tell me that I had to make DD CIO at 6 months, because "It'll be so much harder in a couple months when she can stand up and look over the crib rail at you and scream "Mama! Mama!"<br><br>
As if the ONLY way for a baby to ever sleep was to force her to CIO, at one age or another.<br><br>
DD has been a handful and hard to get to sleep her whole life. We're dealing with it now at 14.5 months old the same was we have since she was little tiny: By attending to her needs and providing her with safe, loving, gentle arms. If she's hungry, I nurse her. If she's wet, I change her. If she's lonely, we're here for her. If she's hurting, we try to help soothe her.<br><br>
My ped fully admits she's never had a High Needs or Spirited baby like my DD. That she's never dealt with a baby who is so persistent, so reluctant to sleep, so dependednt upon parenting to sleep. So how can she make the blanket "Let her CIO" statement? There are lots of kids for whom CIO simply doesn't work, and lots and lots of parents for whom it doesn't work, either.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
We're going to move his matress to the floor. Last couple of nights I tried to let him sleep with us but he stayed latched on the whole time. At this point I need some bodily space. I'm sensory defensive and the sleep deprivation magnifies eevrything. I've been reading other treads and realize this seems to be a recurring theme with tis age group.<br>
Right now I'm laughing hysterically because DS just brought me my shoes and is alternately trying them on and trying to put them on me and laughing like like a madman!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br>
I enjoy him so much. I'm going to nurse himmore I decided, and try to let himsleep with us again. We'll see. Hope Springs <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">Eternal!
 

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Hugs to you. I can't stand it when people push CIO or are so short-sighted they can't imagine ANY other way to get a toddler to sleep. Sheesh.<br><br>
17mo was just like you described for us too. Almost exactly going from a nice pattern to tons of waking. Turns out that was lots of teething and now at 20mo we're back to more tolerable patterns AND he seems to have 'matured' in his sleeping again, meaning he'll stir and fall back asleep on his own where before he would have been calling for me. I can also say to him, when he wakes up and calls, "shhh, shh honey its time for sleep" then he'll thrash around for another minute and be back out. Trust me, this would NOT have happened at 17mo, and we did nothing special at all. He's just getting there in his own sweet time. Yours will too, and pat yourself on the back sticking through the tough times with your toddler!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>heidirk</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9834690"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm sensory defensive and the sleep deprivation magnifies evrything.</div>
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Can you explain what sensory defensive is (especially as an adult)? I am truly curious.
 

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I'm thinking that it means the same as being "touched out" or just being in total sensory overload from being nursed on and touched along with lack of sleep. Everything is amplified therefore one is totally defensive of personal space and ones body in particular. I soooooooo understand this if this is what was meant.<br><br>
Exactly the reason I came to this area tonight. Looking for mamas going through the same thing as me <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> My dd is 14 mo and we are seriously struggling with constant night waking and major burnout on my part.
 

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Just to let you know we are out there...I have two at 19 mo...waking, waking, waking...We have good nights ( each only wake twice) and challenging nights (who counts how many wakings?) which is exciting; because they used to all be challenging! I am here just reading about people that are sleep deprived too so thanks for posting!
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Well, it's like this. Sensory stimulus is interpreted by the brain in different ways. Most people get used to a continuous sensation very quickly, others Never get used to it. I'm only mildly defensive, but when DS was tiny, if DH even touched me while I was nursing, I'd fantasize about surgically removing parts of his anatomy. Any information, be it sound, light, smells, touch- end up magnified to the point that it stimulates a fear response in the brain.<br>
I am theperson who removes all tags from shirts, wears socks withno seams, and will NOT wearcertain fabrics because I FEEL them against my skin all day. The good thing is that caring for a babe is one of the best treatments for this!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Some people who have this disorder never leave the house, never make love, and will only eat mashed potatoes. I'm not being funny, it's just that, in that perspective, I am very blessed indeed!
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Had a friend give me the 'tough love, CIO' lecture....Sigh. And then DS only woke three times that night, and the next, and only once last night! See! I tell myself, you have made progress! Thanks everyone for you support!<br><br><br>
Needless to say, I politely told her she could keep her advice!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
Just have to say that molars SUCK!<br><br>
Dd was mostly a "good" sleeper, but man, those molars were a pain.<br><br>
-Angela
 

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heidirk-I'm sensory defensive too. I just always thought I was sensitive to things, but reading your description, that's exactly what I am. Down to if dh touches me while dd is nursing, I want to hurt him. Noise and lights really bother me, I'm not one to enjoy the tv on for noise or the music turned way up. We have no blinky/noise maker toys, not because I was always a die hard 'green' person, but because the noise aggravates me.<br><br>
Anyway, about the sleeping. DD is now 33 months old and will wake 1-2 times a night. We stopped night nursing after she turned 2. I was slowly going insane. I would have loved to continue to meet that need for her, but having a nice, functioning mommy during the day trumps getting milkies 5 times at night. It was very hard to night wean her, not because it was very traumatic, but because of the guilt I felt about it. I went very very slowly for her, and over all it took about 4-6 months. We continued to co-sleep, and the hardest part was regressing after we had made some progress, just like what is happening with you now. What I had to focus on was the OVERALL picture, looking at the progress in terms of months and/or weeks instead of days. I can't give you any more advice except that I really understand where you are coming from-the exhaustion, the sensory issue, the dh who is less than supportive and the blinding love for your baby. It is very hard. Trust your gut and try to get as much rest as possible. If you need to night wean, don't feel guilty about it. If it will make you a better day-time mommy, then it is well worth it. HTH
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s:<br><br>
I'm in a similar boat, was in tears twice today.<br><br>
I read Dr. Jay Gordon's advice on nightweaning and didnt like it much. It does, indeed, involve a lot of crying but at least you are there with them. We decided it wouldnt work for us, but lots of people here on mdc have suggested/used it so I thought I'd give it a mention.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
mommy2abigail, thanks so much for yourpost. it's nice toknow we're out there isn't it? After 2 days of muchbetter sleep, we'reback to wherewestarted..Sigh...<br><br>
So. What now? Dh is so proud of himself when he answers ds's yelps in the night, and doesn't need me at all. I feel guilty though! and this is stupid, because I need him if we're going to nightwean. I just have this voice in my head, ( wich is probably my mom's voice now that I think of it) who says, 'you know, he has to get up and go to work tomorrow you know!' As if I DON"T!<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br>
Not to diminish DH's contribution, after all, I( wouldn't be a SAHM without his job, BUT, I do as much and more work than he does any given day, so I shouldn't feel that way! Argh!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
Thanks again.
 

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I'm sensory defensive as well and there were times when I was an electrical wire without the insulation. I got so touched out that everything was completely painful. What bites is that I got this way starting in the third trimester, leading into an intense newborn period.<br><br>
Bear went through a rough, all night nursing period, too. I just had to be firm, pop the little sucker off and scootch him over in the bed a bit. I still gave him cuddles, but I had to keep my space or lose my sanity.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
You too huh?! I feel bad for you, at least mine didn't get bad until a few weeks after. I literally thought I was going insane! Now I realize I was at least a little PPd too. All of that has lifted for the most part, except for the night nursing.<br>
I'm so exhausted today I could lay down and sleep regardless of where DS isor what's he'sdoing. I'll get through today somehow, but what about tonight? andTomorrow? I'm not whining, just wondering. Oneday at a time...oneday at a time. :yawning:
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Just to say...Thanks to all of you on the boards, both for posting, and being there for me to read. DS slept well three night running now, waking once one night, and twice the next. Hoping this holds out....<br><br>
Really though, I KNEW things would calm down again, and I should have trusted myself more. Thanksagain.
 
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