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DD (22m) won't stop hitting DS (7m). I've tried everything and I don't know what else to do! All I know, is that it needs to STOP RIGHT NOW!<br><br>
I've tried redirecting, holding her hands and explaining how it hurts Isaiah, showing her good kinds of touches (like kissing and tickling), showing her how to play peek-a-boo, give toys to him, etc, making sure her needs are met (she doesn't get overly tired, hungry, etc.).<br><br>
But, I just can't take it anymore. It's not fair to poor DS, who has several scratches on his face, and a huge red mark across his head where she just slapped him. She does this several times a day. I'm so worried he's going to grow up to violent, unattatched, dispondent, because he gets abused by DD so much.<br><br>
I keep him in the mei tai as much as possible, but he's starting to sit up and wanting to crawl around. I've even broke down and got a Pack-n-Play, but DD either crawls in it, or throws stuff into it. And I DO watch them. DH always blames me, but I AM watching them. I try to let DS have floor-time when DD is otherwise busy (eating at the table, in the bathtub, napping), but he's starting to want to play more and more. Just a few minutes here and there isn't cutting it.<br><br>
WHY DOES SHE DO IT? It's not just when she gets grumpy; she'll do it randomly. She'll be across the room, happily coloring. Gets up, walks over, and whacks him in the head. What's so fun about smacking a baby? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
It's such a horrible feeling. Like most mamas, if you see someone hitting your baby, it's a natural instinct to want to clobber that person! But, when that person is YOUR CHILD as well, it's such a conflict of emotion. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:<br><br>
Any suggestions? She just doesn't get that it's NOT OKAY. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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It's hard with 2 babies! Even if she understands that it hurts the baby, she's unlikely to be able to control the impulse. Is she verbal enough yet to say what she was wanting when she hit the 7 month old?<br><br>
Does she seem to like the other baby?<br><br>
Have you tried having paying a lot of attention to her when the baby sleeps...not trying to get something done, but just playing with her, talking to her and making lots of eye contact? She might really miss being special to you.
 

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oh, do i remember this time. hugs to you...it will get better. finding time to be alone with dd and doing something special with her EVERYDAY may help. five minutes of reading, cooking, doing something she really wants to do...sitting alone with you without distraction (we tandemed nursed and that SAVED me...and my boys) continue to talk about being gentle...focusing on what we can do, not what we cannot. when ds2 started to be mobile i found myself telling ds1 no a lot and not having the patience i thought i would. when i changed my attitude and the vibe i sent out, they changed. when i look back i realize just how little and unable to control himself ds1 was (at the time he was like a big kid, but now ds2 is that age and somehow he is a baby).<br><br>
why is this happening...you may never 'figure' it out...they are both still babies trying to explore and learn. it also helped to do a fun thing all together everyday. somedays ds1 helped bath the baby...huge mess, but worth it. somedays we showed ds2 a new toy, ds1's favorite book, explored outside showing ds2 what he will be able to do one day...just tried to make them active in each others' lives in a positive way.<br><br>
just an fyi we are now at 2 and 3.5 and they play awesome together...they are knights, superheros, ghosts...they play farm, games, build blocks and take turns knocking them down. yes, there are still days when i want to scream...when i cannot understand how you were both playing soooo nicely and now everyone in crying...but they are few and far between.<br><br>
good luck...this too shall pass...find the good stuff...and focus on it.
 
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