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On a thread about what would make being a SAHM easier, I talked about the one time I actually resent my ds. Any suggestions about how to get over this little hump?<br><br>
Here's the thing, I'm with my boy 24/7 . . . as AP as one can get. I'm there for him in every way, all day. However, once I nurse him to sleep and slip downstairs, I consider myself on break. Typically what happens is, I get him to sleep by 9 and we put in a movie. Around 9:20 he realizes there is no breast in his mouth and registers his complaint. So the movie gets paused, I head back upstairs to re-nurse him to sleep. And here's the part that annoys me, he goes RIGHT back to sleep, but holds me hostage for up to half an hour, refusing to stay asleep without my nipple firmly lodged between his lips. Meanwhile, my chances of making the end of the movie are getting Calista Flockhart slim.<br><br>
I know, I know . . . I trained the boy to use me as a Human Pacifier. I still happily co-sleep and nurse on demand at all hours, except for the hours of 9-11 PM. Those hours of nursing are considerably less happy for me.<br><br>
Any suggestions? I actually find myself considering CIO while lying there looking at the ceiling in the dark.
 

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Hi-<br>
Maybe your DS and my DD have a plot going here <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br>
Sounds very familiar. My DD is 17 mo and it got better till the first molars came and then backslide. And it is so easy fro me to got o sleep again once attached that that only makes things worse!<br>
Blah!<br>
Last night I had enuf by 1 am and put DH on "duty". He took her when she woke and walked her back to sleep, then patted her again a half hour later, then she slept for almost 3 hours...and so did I !!<br>
I used the "No Cry Sleep Solution" for while and then loaned it out. Have sent for the No Cry...for Toddlers" , should help if I stick with it.<br><br>
My mantra to keep the resentment at bay is (of course) "this too shall pass", and then I think all of what it took to have her here in my arms and it is pretty gone then. When I am not dealing well....that is when DH is put to task.<br>
Hope this helps.<br>
And Hope your situation gets better!! Just know you're not alone.
 

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Hi,<br>
I don't know how old your little boy is. But when my daughter was 2 years, 3 months, I found myself in the exact same situation (except I was newly pregnant and my boobs were killing me). I actually had a talk with my daughter and told her that the num-nums needed to start sleeping at night 'cause they were very tired. I warned her about 20 minutes before they went to sleep. She would nurse and either fall asleep or not. And then I would say (if still awake) "ssshh the num-num is sleeping let's sing it a lullaby". When she would wake up a little while later, I would remind her the num-num was still sleeping, but as soon as the sun was up she could have the num-num as much as she wanted and I would give her a sippy cup instead in the meantime. This worked suprisingly well. A couple times she had little nightmares and really needed her num-num's, so we woke them up together and then after she felt better, they went back to sleep. She became an advid morning nurser. She would wake up at the crack of dawn and say "Sun is shining, it's morning time, wake up num-num's" and I would nurse her in bed. I don't know, this may not work for you. I wasn't ready to wean, but I couldn't keep going the way we were going...so this worked for us. Good Luck!<br><br>
Just wanted to add, that I would let her "cuddle" the num-num's at night. She would just put her hand on the num-num and gently hold it and we were both fine with that.
 

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My son is the same way. I like to watch movies at night, too, so he nurses through the movie, on the couch. I carry him to bed when I go.
 

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First off, my 12 mo wakes every 2 hrs or less all night, so I feel your pain. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br><br>
However, there is one thing I got out of Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution that actually works well for my extremely persistant lil' night-waker: the Pantley Pull-out.<br><br>
It hasn't helped him sleep through the night, but it has let me creep away MUCH sooner.<br><br>
Let me know if you want a more detailed description of what we did.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Yes please. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Stayinhom</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Hi,<br>
I don't know how old your little boy is. But when my daughter was 2 years, 3 months, I found myself in the exact same situation (except I was newly pregnant and my boobs were killing me). I actually had a talk with my daughter and told her that the num-nums needed to start sleeping at night 'cause they were very tired. I warned her about 20 minutes before they went to sleep. She would nurse and either fall asleep or not. And then I would say (if still awake) "ssshh the num-num is sleeping let's sing it a lullaby". When she would wake up a little while later, I would remind her the num-num was still sleeping, but as soon as the sun was up she could have the num-num as much as she wanted and I would give her a sippy cup instead in the meantime. This worked suprisingly well. A couple times she had little nightmares and really needed her num-num's, so we woke them up together and then after she felt better, they went back to sleep. She became an advid morning nurser. She would wake up at the crack of dawn and say "Sun is shining, it's morning time, wake up num-num's" and I would nurse her in bed. I don't know, this may not work for you. I wasn't ready to wean, but I couldn't keep going the way we were going...so this worked for us. Good Luck!<br><br>
Just wanted to add, that I would let her "cuddle" the num-num's at night. She would just put her hand on the num-num and gently hold it and we were both fine with that.</div>
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this sounds really great <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> my ds is much younger so i don't know if he'd get the logic. but i think he does understand a lot<br><br>
we have phases of the human pacifier. and we're having one right now with teething those pesky pre-molars. it's driving me NUTSO. i want to nurse and go back to sleep. not lay there in an uncomfy position for a half hour every other hour. i'm contemplating the move back to the crib (him not me :LOL ) although maybe i could hide in there.<br><br>
i think our num nums might be going night night soon. although he's been doing much better sleeping for longer periods and i have been feeling more sane (and functioning better at work). it is just the teething nights that kill me<br><br>
heffernhyphen~ i don't really have any suggestions. he definitely has a strong nurse/sleep association. but so does my ds. it is hard to retrain them to have others. maybe designate a few nights to rub his back or rock to sleep instead of nursing to try and give new sleep associations. it could take two whole hours to get him back to sleep. but after a few times maybe it would get easier. or have dh try<br><br>
i know the feeling though....bedtime is mama time! you get to have a relief from responsibility and take a couple hours for yourself. and it's hard when they aren't always up for that plan
 

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Here's what I did:<br><br>
At first, I'd wait until he was totally asleep. Then I'd gently unlatch. He'd root...I'd wait a sec and see what was gonna happen, he'd get agitated, I'd relatch. I'd wait until he was totally asleep again, and repeat the process. Eventually, after 10 or more times of this game each night, he got to the point where he'd let go. (Elizabeth Pantley suggests trying to gently hold his chin up when he roots, but this made my ds upset so I only tried it once or twice and then gave up).<br><br>
After a few weeks, I'd wait until he was asleep, but not zonked. I'd unlatch, he'd root... I'd wait a sec, he'd keep rooting, I'd relatch. I'd wait until he was just barely asleep again, and try again. Sometimes he'd start getting frustrated and start waking up more, so I'd give up and go back to step one of waiting until he was totally asleep before I unlatched. I just took my cues from him. This is kinda where we are now- I can always unlatch and walk away if I wait until he's just asleep, though I have to relatch a couple of times sometimes.<br><br>
What we're working on now is trying to unlatch when he's just shy of sleep. I'd unlatch, he'd root, I'd relatch, but THEN I would count 15 seconds and unlatch again. Wait, relatch, count 15 seconds, unlatch, wait, relatch, etc. I tried pushing too much with this one night and he got upset and started crying, so we backed up to step 2 for a while and waited until he was asleep but not zonked. This is kind of where we are right now- gently trying to work on the unlatching when he's just shy of sleep, but following his cues and not pushing it.<br><br>
My DS is VERY attached to nursing to sleep, and I'm not sure we'll ever get past this point. Some babies are mellower than my son and may take to this process more easily. Pantley had great results with her son- he lost the suck to sleep association and started sleeping through the night. That isn't really my goal. It is important to me that ds trust me and find going to sleep enjoyable, so I'm willing to put up with the frequent night wakings.<br><br>
However, like you that 8:30 to 10:30 time slot is PRECIOUS to me, and I really value time to chill and be with my husband. I have to get up during this time frequently and go nurse ds, but at least I'm not stuck there anymore.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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Hi jstar <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wave.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wave"><br><br>
We cross-posted. Your ds is very mature for his age, IMO, so maybe he'll understand num-nums going night-night. Though I have a feeling that he just may want to wake them up for teething. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> Good luck to you, too!
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
For some reason I didn't get notified when y'all responded to my post and just now found all this great advice. Thanks. I've got lots to try now, and also have the comfort in knowing we're not alone.
 

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OH man I am reading this post at the right time.<br><br>
I don't get any time to myself, or time with my husband, because DD wakes up every time I try to leave the room. I might be able to go to the bathroom but usually that's all the time I get.<br><br>
I have tried suggestions from the NCSS and some other things but I usually get too frustrated because she is very resistant and I have more "failures" than "successes." I think that I just haven't been patient enough (it's hard to build up patience when you never get any time to yourself, but that's another issue, sort of).... so this thread is inspiring me to come up with another plan and stick to it. I just have to keep my eyes on the prize and not get frustrated if it takes a few weeks.<br><br>
I think I read Pantley's description of how well it worked with her son and I just thought that if I didn't have any success at all after a few days of trying, it wasn't worth it. Especially because DD will wake all the way up and not go back to sleep for hours. Well, I'd rather be reading and nursing a sleeping kid than up for a few more hours with a crabby one! I just have to remember that time to myself, and time with my husband, is the goal, and it seems like it's a bit of a hard road to get there.<br><br>
Thanks for the inspiration!
 
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