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I really didnt know where to put this. This isnt really off behaviour, or mean behaviour, but well....I dont know what to say.<br><br>
Lately, my 4yo has been extremely clingy. His dad was in the hospital for a week, so he had to stay a lot with my dad and his gf(here at our house though) but I was home everynight to tuck him in and tried to be as normal as possible. Then dh was home for about 2 weeks after that, he just returned to work wednesday.<br>
For about 2 weeks now, ds has been a cling on. He will not let dh and I have a moment alone. We cant watch a 30 min tv programme without being interrupted at least 40 times. (tv is our only vice. we never ever go anywhere. we dont do anything, so we have our two programmes once a week we watch and yes ds is still awake thats antoher issue). Everywhere I go in the house he follows me. I am a SAHM so it is getting tiring. I have told him to go and play in his room(in a not nice voice i might add) i try to get crafts and things out for him to do. I know he is bored. He has nobody to play with. We dont really go anywhere that much, as gas is so high we cant afford to go like we used to. I do not know how to handle this. He doesnt cry for me, its like he just has to be RIGHT up on me. Very annoying right now for me. Any ideas?
 

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You may not like this suggestion, but it's the only one I have.<br><br>
Shift. Embrace his wanting to be on you, go into it with an open, giving heart instead of feeling like it's a problem. By changing your mood you change how you approach it.<br>
He's just had a lot of upheaval in his life right now. Even though you tried to make things as normal as possible, I'm sure he picked up on the enormous amount of stress you were feeling and the fact that his dad was NOT OKAY was probably very stressful for him. That, and then dad leaves for two weeks right after. It's very natural for him to be clingy until things settle down and he feels more secure and normal.<br><br>
It's...it's like running around in the yard for an hour on a summer's day and getting really thirsty. You walk into the house, find a glass on the table with maybe a few sips of water left in it. You drink it in a hurry, only to find yourself seemingly <i>more</i> thirsty after it. It's just not enough, and the one person who could give you more acts like you're just asking to annoy her and you've really had enough alread. Not in so many words of course, but the body language and time it takes to get your water tells you that. You learn to ask everytime you see this person, because you might not get enough later.<br>
Now imagine the water in the glass never-ending. The person is standing there with a pitcher, filling it even before you've drank to the bottom. It's always like that, and you know it's always going to be like that. You drink your fill, be it half a glass, a few sips, or even 2-3 glasses, and walk away. You don't feel like you have to ration it or overindulge.<br><br>
Let your love show through the idea that the need can be met before it's even asked for.<br><br>
And you, you need to set aside time to recharge yourself. Just a 5 minute break, or a chapter in a book, or a few yoga poses. Find something that calms and centers you so that you can get back to being the usual great mom you are.<br>
There's tonnes of activity pages online to help parents with preschoolers. Do a quick search for simple things you can do together but he can also do on his own when he's more willing. My kids always loved filling up bottles and jars with water and making "music" by lining them up on the table and hitting them with a spoon. Baking is fun to do together, building forts and throwing wadded up sock "cannonballs" was fun, too.<br><br>
Good luck, hon. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> It seems to be neverending at times, but they do grow all too quickly.
 

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I agree with the PP. This isn't about your son being a pest - it's about him trying to deal with a huge shake-up in his life. Unless your dad and his gf live with you, and your DH is gone a lot, there was NOTHING normal about the week your DH was in the hospital, or the time when he was recovering. His little world was completely upside down, and he's trying to deal with that - even though things are more back to normal now.<br><br>
If your son had been the one in the hospital, would you be more understanding of his current behavior?<br><br>
His clingyness is a temporary situation, and if you treat it as such, I think you'll find yourself more patient with him. The more you can attend to him now, the sooner he'll again feel safe and secure enough to be apart from you. I think pushing him away - even a little - is going to make it worse.<br><br>
Hang in there - things WILL get back to normal!
 

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Is there anyone who can share the burden with you? A grandma who can come sit on the couch and read with him while you get a little time alone? Or can the two of you do something really fun together, something you maybe wouldn't normally do, and just enjoy each other's company? Kind of like a "reset" for you?
 

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LilyGrace- that was an amazingly insightful post.<br><br>
OP- I am inclined to agree with LG, though I would not have put it so well.
 

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Do you think he might be scared that you're going to go into the hospital too, or that if daddy gets sick again that he won't see you much?<br><br>
I don't usually think of clingyness being about boredom, I think it's more about fear. I think it could be a manifestation of separation anxiety - he's afraid that if he lets you out of his sight, you won't come back, or at least not for a long time.<br><br>
So in addition to the great advice you've already received, I would add that it might help to validate his feelings and reassure him that those separations are over and things are back to normal.<br><br>
You might even consider some playtime around hospital visits. Maybe one of his stuffed animals gets a big boo-boo and has to go the animal hospital - maybe there's one right in your family room! Your son can go visit the patient, but you have to stay home in the kitchen. You can be playfully dramatic about how much you'll miss him and ask him to come home soon. And then when he comes back you'll be happy, but maybe confess that you were worried he wouldn't come back. Set it up loosely but follow his lead. Maybe it would be a 2nd stuffed animal that has to stay home, and you go with your son to the hospital. When you come back, you might talk about how the 2nd animal is sad or was worried or was scared.<br><br>
The book Playful Parenting by Larry Cohen would have other ideas about how you can work on these feelings thru play - it's a very easy to read book and you can start implementing things after reading just a few pages.<br><br>
Hope this gets easier for you quickly. It's sooo tough not to be able to get a break, esp after all the stress you've been under recently.<br><br>
Theresa
 
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