[Kailey's mom]

:

: Long story short my mom bought Kailey a toddler bed for her 1st birthday, we have it set up in her bedroom but she still sleeps with us, she is just too young to sleep in it at night, and doesn't relate it to sleep for naps or anything. My mom was over a little while ago playing with Kailey in her bedroom and teaching her " this is where good Kailey's go nite nite" etc etc..

It's not a big deal really except I know she's saying this as a " hint hint" for me to start putting her in there for bed. I tell my mom constantly that she will eventually, one day sleep in her new bed, when she's older, but my mom is constantly " telling Kailey" about how she is supposed to sleep in her bed.

Kailey doesn't understand what my mom's saying really, Maybe I'm just hormonal today, but I really wish my mom would shut up about it, when I tell her to, she says' " I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to Kailey!"

Thanks for letting me rant!!

 

[IsaacAndAnnalee]

Right, she is talking to Kailey- YOUR daughter. IMO if you don't want her to say ANYTHING (about this or anything else) you have that right b/c Kailey is your daughter. JMO of course.

 

[XanaduMama]

I hate it when people talk to each other through the kid-- acting as though they're talking to the LO when the comment is really meant for the other adult. I mean, I'm guilty of it sometimes, I guess, but it still bugs me when I do it!

Personally, I would tell her to stop talking about it or the bed goes in the shed... But maybe I'm also just hormonal today!

 

[momtob&t]

I hate it when people talk to each other through the kid-- acting as though they're talking to the LO when the comment is really meant for the other adult. I mean, I'm guilty of it sometimes, I guess, but it still bugs me when I do it!

Yes, it really bugs me too! My grandma does this to me like when I won't give my daughter (who is 11 mos) junk food. She say things like "your mommy is starving you" and "tell mommy a little ice cream won't hurt you." I can definitely relate. I just ignore her though. If your mom doesn't live with you then you can do what you want.

 

[Kailey's mom]

I"m so grateful my mom doesn't live with me, omg!! I get alot of that " tell mommy a little bit of this won't hurt me" OR other stupid comments, so annoying!

 

[Jacob'smomma]

I don't think you are being petty at all. I would be offended if my Mom did that to me. I wouldn't even set up the toddler bed to make a point back. Do what feels right for you

 

[cjanelles]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kailey's mom " this is where good Kailey's go nite nite" etc etc..

As if "bad" Kailey's go nite-nite in their mommy's bed???

:

Oh man, this would really, really, really make me mad...and I would be hard-pressed not to say something to my mom (or anyone) who continually tried to undermine my parenting style, especially when doing it directly to my child.

I would say to your mom, "Hey, I know that I do things differently than you did when you had little kids, and I think that you did a perfectly fine job raising us--so my decision to do things differently has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU or your parenting ability. We parent this way because it works for our family and it makes us all happy, and for you to continually undermine our parenting style does nothing but create frustration and animosity for me and confusion for Kailey ("the kids" whatever). I love you and respect you, and I ask that you do the same for me by respecting my parenting choices..."

That's the NICE way I'd say it...and then if it happened again, I'd probably likely loose my temper.

I'd be mad, too.

 

[amyjeans]

Oh I would be sooo mad. When it comes to my kids- NO ONE is allowed to parent them but my dh and I.
I would have been in her face telling her she had her kids, leave mine alone! I wouldn't be so nice either.

 

[rzberrymom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by XanaduMama I hate it when people talk to each other through the kid-- acting as though they're talking to the LO when the comment is really meant for the other adult. I mean, I'm guilty of it sometimes, I guess, but it still bugs me when I do it!

Oh, this drove me nuts too! My MIL used to talk to my 6 week old "Oh, you want to get out of that sling so you can stretchy stretch and grow. You're so squished in there and you want to grow."

OP, I know how you're feeling!

 

[wallacesmum]

I hate that too. Sometimes I take it as an opportunity to educate (again, and again, and again) on the subject. If it is my grandmother, for instance, I just talk about not looking at local colleges, and we will stop cosleeping when everyone is ready, etc. If it is my parents, though, or dh's parents, I (or he) puts a more stern stop to it.

"I understand that you feel that way, but I am parenting this child and children hear EVERYTHING. That's not how we handle it." I had to do this when my mom was being a little too pushy with ds on the potty.

 

[a_cthelen]

I would say something. You're not being "hormonal". Your mom is over-stepping the relationship boundary and needs to be told that you don't find it acceptable for her to talk to your daughter that way.

 

[Lisa85]

I know you're trying to hint that you want Kailey to sleep in her own bed but we're all happy with everyone in one bed and it's our decision. She'll get plenty of use out of it when she's older. It's not up for discussion.

 

[Om Girl]

My mom does the same thing...

:

 

[momuveight2B]

She is out of line. The toddler bed is wonderful for putting dollies and teddies in so they can sleep with their mommy and that is all. I find it really offensive that she would tell your daughter that good girls sleep here and not with mommy. Absolutely none of her business.

 

[prothyraia]

Quote:

Originally Posted by momuveight2B I find it really offensive that she would tell your daughter that good girls sleep here

:

 

[quietserena]

Can you do it back?

"Kailey *is* a good girl and she sleeps where she's comfortable"

Maybe I'm just hormonal too but sometimes you gotta play their game. And if she seems offended you say "I'm just talking to Kailey like you were"

it irks me when people do this sort of thing

 

[Manfa]

That is undermining my parenting style. Please stop. Now.

And that would be me doing my utmost to hold in my temper on a day when I am NOT hormonal. This kind of thing is just so out of line... it's not petty and I am not surprised that it irks you!

 

[SleepyMamaBear]

i would say it very point blank just like Manfa. "that is undermining my parenting style?choices. you need to stop that now."
and if she does it again i would tell her the bed is coming out until she can stop.
but thats just me. my whole family knows not to do stuff like that or they get more than an earful.

 

[paquerette]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kailey's mom It's not a big deal really except I know she's saying this as a " hint hint" for me to start putting her in there for bed. I tell my mom constantly that she will eventually, one day sleep in her new bed, when she's older, but my mom is constantly " telling Kailey" about how she is supposed to sleep in her bed. Kailey doesn't understand what my mom's saying really, Maybe I'm just hormonal today, but I really wish my mom would shut up about it, when I tell her to, she says' " I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to Kailey!"

That IS horrible, and I do think it's a big deal! Don't underestimate your daughter's ability to understand. By 9 months, they understand most of what is said to them. I think you need to put the kibosh on her saying things like that to her immediately.

 

[Kailey's mom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by paquerette That IS horrible, and I do think it's a big deal! Don't underestimate your daughter's ability to understand. By 9 months, they understand most of what is said to them. I think you need to put the kibosh on her saying things like that to her immediately.

This really helps, I can be honest with my mom and educate her that Kailey CAN understand her, and not to talk to her like that. I was underestimating Kailey

: . Thanks for the wake up call hun!!