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Good for you that you have recognized the cycle of abuse, and good for you that you're looking into counseling. It seems you have alot to contend with and your doing it !

I don't know what the nature of your mental disability is. But something concerns me.. Your dh came into this relationship fully aware of your disability, but how wil he react when/if you do go to counseling and show improvement? It sounds to me like your dh IS abusive. Abuse comes in more forms than physical, and can be equally harmful. Right now he doesn't have to harm you physically to have control over you. He can knock you down verbally and never leave a scratch. This has to be tremendously stressful for you. But what will happen when you no longer allow him to treat you this way? When you have shown "improvement", and can disagree with him with conviction and confidence, how will he react?

I've been sitting here wondering if I should hit the send button. You have so much going on right now, I don't want to be negative. I know you need suport. But I think your dh has some control issues, and I'm afraid for you because I don't think this need for him to control will go away if and when you get the help you need.

It has to be so difficult to let others control you in this way. I hope that you can get the help you need and i'm sending you strong supportive vibes.

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