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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
and I need her to learn to fall back to sleep without a boob in her mouth. DD is killing me and I can't take it anymore. She is almost 8 months old and a horrible sleeper at night. She naps great, takes 2 naps each day between 1 and 3 hours each time. The problem is at night. She usually goes down for the night fine, but she constantly wakes up and can't put herself back to sleep without the boob (not that we have really tried, but I am ready to now). She goes to bed around 7:30-8 and gets up for the day around 7-7:30. On a really, really, really good night, she wakes 3 times between midnite (around when I go to bed) and 7 am. These nights are very rare. On an average night she wakes around 6 times, 3 times between bedtime and midnite and 3 times between midnite and 7 am. On a bad night she wakes up to 10 times. Recently, she has started to try and wake up for the day at 4:30-5 am and I have to almost force her back to sleep which sometimes takes an hour plus.
I am tired, really, really tired. Going to bed earlier doesn't really help because she usually wakes a 9pm, 10pm, 11pm, etc. so just as I am falling asleep she is waking up again. I feel like I am starting to lose it. I am having breakdowns in the middle of the night, crying, screaming, getting very angry at her, punching a pillow, cursing at her, etc. I am not a roll over, pop the boob in, go back to sleep type of person. I can't sleep with someone touching me and I certainly can't sleep through nursing. The combination of DD's crappy nighttime latch, sensitive nipples (BF has never been super comfortable), and her kicking feet and grabby hands make that impossible. It gets to the point every night where I can't stand to have her touch me at all. It makes my skin crawl and it is all I can do to lie there and nurse her for 10 minutes. We coslept for 6 months, tried having her in her crib for 6 weeks and are now back to cosleeping for a variety or reasons. Crib sleeping did make her wake up less often, but instead of waking 6 times of night for 10-15 mins each time, she woke 3 times a night and it took me between 30 mins and 2 hours to get her back to sleep and back in her crib each time she woke. I would like to get her in her crib eventually full time, cosleeping with DD means DH sleeps in another room, I miss him and I need some time away from DD even if it is when I am asleep.

DH is of very little help. He plays warcraft in the evenings most nights(for those unfamiliar, this is a video game where you can't just get up and walk away) and is a cranky zombie if he gets say 7.5 hours of sleep in a row as opposed to 8. Two times in two weeks I have been at my wit's end and given DD to him at around 5 am. Both times he had to call out of work the next day because he was too tired to go in (poor baby). He is also fine with letting her CIO, but not with regard to any particular "system", ie CIO in his arms one nightwaking, alone the next, basically whatever he feels like doing (ie rocking her or not). I myself am getting very close to CIO, but in the middle of the night her crying makes me more angry than her not sleeping.
Obviously I need some help here. DD's not sleep is really affecting me being a good mom to her. She really is a sweet baby, so happy and smiley all day long and I love her to death. I'm just tired and after 8 months of not sleeping for more than 3 hours in a row I am at my wit's end.
Help!!!
 

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Hi. Firstly, I want to give you a hug
. I know that you are really frustrated right now and at your wit's end. I have been there (in fact, still am!
). I have a 4 1/2 year old who was just like your DD. And my younger 9 mo DS is also the same (waking 8 - 10 times every night). So I now what it is like. In the middle of the night, you want to either throw them out the window or just walk away. I have done the same as you - shouting, crying, punching the pillow, etc in the night just to get this little thing off my boob! My DH is also not good in the night, so it is down to me. That also means what I decide to do is purely down to me!

I don't know if I can help, but I'll see what I can do! Firstly, you have been doing a great job so far looking after your DD. She needs you, and you have been there for her. Well done - it isn't easy, I can tell you.

I have come to the conclusion that good sleepers are born and not made. You either have one or you don't! But it is up to you what you do about it. It seems to me you have three choices: (1) Put up with it, and keep doing what you are doing. She will eventually grow out of it. My eldest DS is now sleeping through the night every night and is a really good sleeper. But he didn't sleep through until he was 3, and I decided that he wouldn't nurse in the night any more. (2) CIO. I am not advocating it, and I am not putting it down. It is an option, and only you can decide about it. (3) Something in between. I don't know if you know about The No-Cry Sleep Solution book by Elizabeth Pantley. She is anti-CIO but she too had a bad sleeper and needed to make a change. The book has loads of options of how to get your little one to sleep without CIO. It will take time, maybe a few months, but at least you feel like you are doing something about it.

Good luck to you, snoopy. You are not alone, and I feel for you. Just a last word - ANY time you get to yourself during the day, do something nice for yourself. DO NOT CLEAN. DO NOT PAY BILLS. DO NOT DO ANYTHING YOU FEEL YOU SHOULD BE DOING. Read a book. Go on the computer. Take a bath. Eat some chocolate. Paint your toenails. Knit. Whatever! It is the only time you get to be you, so indulge yourself.

Let me know how you get on! If you want any moral support, you can also PM me.
 

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Right now ds is sleeping peacefully in his bed. Part of me wants to go wake him up

We have been going through the same thing. I don't mind night nursing-but this is getting really hard for me. I am a super light sleeper and I have early waking insomnia. The only time I can sleep more than 5 hrs at a time is with sleep aids which I don't take at all while I am nursing or pg. I also have a grabby baby tat wants to grab my face while he nurses. I know things cannot go on like this much longer-I have two other children and just cannot sleep during the day. Dh isn't able to help much at night he is overworked as it is. the othern ight I sat in the living room and cries because I just wanted to sleep!
the baby was in his room crying and I just had to get my own tears out before I could take care of his. I am trying to get him in his bed some early in the night so I can get a few hours-but I know that means at least a few months of transition time. Anyway mama-I feel your pain and when I am up at 2:00 a.m. I will send you some good sleep vibes-knowing that there is another no sleep mama out there.
 

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no sleep is the hardest

i always found that when i reached the end of my rope that i had to sit down and make a plan, plan new routines, new bedtimes work out my new responses

sometimes it helped and sometimes it didnt but i found the acrual act of making a plan and feeling empowered by it helped boost my moral heaps
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
thanks mamas! So it is 8:30 am, and I am exhausted and DD is raring to go. Luckily she will be ready for a nap in about an hour. Ukmama, I do try to take time for myself when DD is napping (and I am not napping with her, I usually am) but it is hard. I can't constantly ignore everything else in my life that needs to get done. I am also getting tired of spending my whole day napping (and sometimes I can't). I am having 30 ppl over for xmas dinner in a month and my house needs about a month's worth of cleaning before it will be ready. I just thank god that I am a SAHM and she is my 1st. I don't know what I would do if I was working (I used to be a teacher!) or if I had to take care of a toddler too. She is making me think twice about having more than 2 kids though.
It is so hard, I get so jealous when I hear of other babies sleeping through the night or sleeping in 6,8 hour stretches, and it is hard to be her mama. Like now, I have no energy or desire to play with her.....
I have heard of NCSS but haven't read it (who has time to read books!!)
I will have to look into it.
 
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