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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
how do you do it? I have 4 kids, they are 7, 5, 2 and 16 days old. I feel like I am loosing my mind, and I don't know if this is a situational thing(adjusting to life with four kids, and dh has been on call the past 2 weeks, so not a lot of help there), or if I am getting into PPD again(had it really bad with ds2). How does your day look? When your 4th was born how long did it take to adjust? My patience is almost non-existant...and i feel so guilty all of te time. how do you keep up with the house work? I am also a homeschooling mama. :LOL
Anyway, please tell me bout your life with four, or more kids at home.

debi(n2ak!!)
 

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I have four kids too, and although mine are older than yours, they are spaced about the same, so I've been in your exact shoes. (When my youngest was born, the older ones were 3, 5 & 6. They are now 12,11, 8 & 5.)

Sixteen days is awfully young! I know I felt totally overwhelmed when my youngest was that age, and I wasn't even homeschooling, although getting my older kids to and from school created its own problems.

My days now, of course, are very different from yours because I don't have a baby anymore. I do recall that when my youngest was an infant, I tried to make my life easier by:
1. Keeping diapering supplies close to the couch so I didn't have to drag myself up the stairs to the diaper pail to change ds's diaper.

2. Spending as much time as possible on the couch, with my feet up, nursing the baby.

3. Encouraging the older kids to be independent. If your 7 & 5 year olds can't make a bowl of cereal with milk or a pb&j sandwich, then teach them now. Let your 7 year old prepare simple snacks for the 2 year old. Keep easy-to-prepare foods accessible to your older children so they can help themselves.

4. If you're cooking dinner, make a double recipe and serve the same thing two nights in a row. Have "sandwich night."

5.View the time you spend breastfeeding as time that you can relax. Read or watch TV while nursing and keep your feet up!

6. Let the older children entertain the baby while you accomplish things. Maybe this makes me sound un-AP. My babies seemed to hate the sling, so I'd have to put them down sometimes. Tell your 7 year old to sit next to the baby and make silly faces at him/her while you take a shower.

It will get easier.
 

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a big
to daylily's suggestions.

I have four too. Mine are spaced a bit further apart (9,6,4,14months) but I still have many days of feeling overwhelmed.

If you think you are starting down the ppd road, you may want to think back about what helped you when you had it before & maybe try that again (meds, exercise, sunlight, etc.) I have struggled a bit w/ depression since my 3rd was born (you can read her story in my sig). Wellbutrin has done amazing things for me. It didn't make me tired or give me headaches like the ssri's did. It can actually give you a bit of an energy boost.

And if there's anyway you can get a bit of househelp (even just once) I think it would take some of the load off of you.
 

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My first reaction is "16 days? Stop thinking about getting anything done." I'd be still claiming post-partum need-to-rest and not doing whatever I could get away with not doing.



My 'spread' is like the OP's ... a 6, 4, 2 and 7mos. And getting anything done is close to impossible. But am heartily endorsing daylily's post. And am going to implement some of her suggestions, too. Thanks.

Also, hoping your standards of housework aren't too high. Mine were pretty low to start with ... but they've almost disappeared.
I clean up on Fridays, but the rest of the week, other than picking stuff up off the floor ... fuggedaboudit.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks mamas. Your words have helped a bunch. I have been trying to claim too early pp to do much, but other ppl don't see it that way I guess. LOL And trust me my housekeeping skills sucked before this, but right now I have at least 6 or 7 loads of laundry to fold, and about 10 more to do, plus dipes for my 2 yr old and the baby, no clean dishes, and there is stuff everywhere all over the floor...i swear this place is a hazard right now.
It is so embarrassing. I have ppl bringing us meals every other day or so, and I pretended like I was sleeping yesterday so I wouldn't have to let her in, she left the food on the porch.


Daylily, your suggestions sound wonderful! My older kids are helping a lot! They do know how to make themselves stuff to eat...I think I do need to go shopping though, not much left in the easy to make relm here. I actually didn't eat at all yesterday until the mama brought the food and there were muffins in the box. I scarfed two of them, and realized that was the first I had eaten at all yesterday. I am having trouble utilizing the sling with this baby...she doesn't seem to like it much most of the time, so that is a problem too...hard to make myself something to eat while hoding her...and I have been using dd a bunch to hold baby while I pee or try to straighten up. My older son switches out the laundry for me which is a huge help, and he also does stuff like take out the trash and they all help to straighten up, it's just never enough when we have 6 ppl living in a 700 sq foot house i guess. LOL

acrathbun~I read your dd's story...I can't even fathom what you went through. My first was born sick...he had a rib deformity, and his heart is in a wierd spot, but he got to go home after ten days. I just can't imagine how hard her first few years have been for you. I am so glad she is doing well now, and what a strong mama you are!! I was on anti-depressants but had to get off them while pregnant because they were causing my blood pressure to go up. They were not working too well anyway, and the doc was suggesting I needed a mood stabilizer which he will not prescribe until I am done nursing...so another 4-5 years from now. LOL I am trying to find a way to get more exercise, and sun is definately helpful. I am also taking my placenta in capsules, which seems to be keeping the worst of the ppd at bay, though those will run out eventually...

I just wish my dh was more helpful. I have to tell him everything, though you can look around here and see what needs to be done. I don't think he really gets how much having a baby takes out of you, and that I really need to be resting, not busting my ass to clean. Well he has a four day weekend starting int he morning and he is not on call, so I have high hopes for the weekend, we need to get rid of even more stuff so that cleaning isn't so hard.
Thanks for listening!!
Debi
 

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I have five kiddos now and one due in about 7 wks. TBH, my transition from three to four wasn't very hard BUT the baby slept really well, my oldest was in school at the time and my third child (27 months at the time) was an angel. My transition to five was awful. I think it had to do with having him at Christmastime, which you clearly did as well. Forget everyone else! I have not only planned nothing for Feb or March I've planned nothing for January as well (in preperation for the new baby). I don't claim to be a great housekeeper either and if I can't do it, for whatever reason, then it doesn't get done. The kids are fed, diapers are changed, and I'll do anything with them that I can do from the couch. :LOL I'm sick and tired of trying to live up to eveyrone elses standards. It is darn hard to have a bunch of little ones and even harder to homeschool some/all of them. You must take it easy on yourself. I usually start feeling more "in control" when the baby is around 3 months old and like I'm competant by the time they're 8 months to 1 year.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by mamamoo
I just wish my dh was more helpful. I have to tell him everything, though you can look around here and see what needs to be done. I don't think he really gets how much having a baby takes out of you, and that I really need to be resting, not busting my ass to clean. Well he has a four day weekend starting int he morning and he is not on call, so I have high hopes for the weekend, we need to get rid of even more stuff so that cleaning isn't so hard.
Thanks for listening!!
Debi
BTW - your baby was born on my birthday!


Also - I struggle with having to tell my dh to do things as well. He will do them, usually, so I really shouldn't complain. It just doesn't bother him like it does me.
 

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I have 4 kids and I homeschool. I have learned to slooooooow down, take at least one hour a day just for myself (I have no babysitter so usually I have to do this when the little ones nap, or do it in 10 minutes intervals through the day), have a non-child interest that stimulates my mind and/or creativity (for me my interest is early Christian history), cut out absolutely every non-essential activity (I rarely socialize outside the house, I communicate with my family and friends almost only by email and phone), lower my standard of what makes a clean house "clean," get help from the kids however small (they pick up toys) and give myself a treat once in a while, eat good food, care less what other people think of me... anything else?... read MDC a lot!
 
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