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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
i was sitting here and thinking about what a pregnancy would be like now. I feel as though i cant really imagine it until im there. It may be harder than i think or, who knows-may be easier because it will make me feel happiness again? Though I know it will be happiness mixed with worry.<br>
I am thinking of all of us mamas who had a loss very late into the pregnancy...we dont have a "milestone to pass" or a "miscarriage date" to pass. We get to spend the whole pregnancy wondering?<br>
I hope not. I really really hope not.<br><br>
hugs to all.
 

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You have voiced what I have been pondering myself. I am sorry you are going through this. I also hate that we will have to go through our whole next pregnancy wondering......But we must just hope that it will be fine, and that our bodies will do what they are meant to do. Thank you for voicing what many of us are thinking.<br>
Charlsie
 

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Being at the end of a pregnancy after 2 losses in a row, I can say that it will all depend. I became pregnant by accident, not planned and I wasn't ready emotionally for quite some time. The 1st trimester was the worst because f that and because I wasn't very sick, which made me think I would have a m/c. Finding out it was a boy was hard because we lost a girl and I think I really wanted a replacement for Grace. But once the kicks and movement started, it was more comforting. Than again, I tend to be a "don't panick" type of person. Not that I didn't have days, moments where I imagined the worst happening, but always when I did, he would move for me. I also had many u/s and NST to ease my mind. My story is not everyone's of course, but it's how it has worked so far for me. I just passed the same mark of the pregnancy where I lost Grace and it didn't mean as much as I thought it would. Now I enter what I call "borrowed time". I hope for the best, know that the worst can happen and try very hard to enjoy every kick, roll, movement from this little guy, just in case. I am surrounded by supportive people who have seen me through the loss of Grace and have been so great about listening to me express myself about this pregnancy. I trust my midwife. It all has helped me get through this.<br><br>
I hope this made some sense and it helped even just a little. I wish you luck on your continued journey.
 

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I feel the same way. I am a "worrier" and throughout my pregancy, I told myself, not to worry and everything will be okay. Now I'm afraid that I will be a total nutcase during the next (hopefully successful) pregancy and even after I bring the baby home. I can honestly see myself never wanting to put the baby down or leaving his/her site.
 

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<div style="font-style:italic;">I feel the same way. I am a "worrier" and throughout my pregancy, I told myself, not to worry and everything will be okay. Now I'm afraid that I will be a total nutcase during the next (hopefully successful) pregancy and even after I bring the baby home. I can honestly see myself never wanting to put the baby down or leaving his/her site.</div>
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I agree. I know that I will be nervous during the next pregnancy. I told my husband that I'd be too scared to decorate a nursery, or buying baby things. We did all that for Alexis, only to have her leave us so soon. I'm scared that bu preparing, I'm setting myself up for dissappointment. But to ilovemysofie, just take it one day at a time. I know it will be hard. I will be praying for a succesful preganncy for you and please keep us updated on your pregnancy progress and appts. Baby news is so exciting for me<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
to all of you that answered-thank you. every little bit helps.<br><br>
Coleslaw-it made very much sense. You sort of put in words what i have been thinking...<br><br>
Momz3-thank you :) you are so sweet!
 

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Everyone is different and everyone processes their loss differently. For me, starting to TTC was a big way that I coped with my losses. It helped bring me hope. But other people need to wait. Neither is right or wrong.<br><br>
We lost our DD when she was 9 days old last year. How she died makes me high risk this time. But so far this pregnancy has been less stressful than I anticipated. I try not to plan too far ahead. I live milestone to milestone. I am also doing nothing to prepare in advance, although I honestly don't really need to do anything, and my MIL will be coming in the days before the birth, so she can do any washing, etc. that needs to be done while I am in the hospital after delivery. I grieve a little that I can't celebrate the impending birth as I feel like I "should", but at the same time, I also need to do what I need to do.<br><br>
I read somewhere (maybe here, I can't recall) that you know you're ready to TTC again when the fear of never having a/another baby is worse than the fear of losing that baby.
 

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<span style="font-family:'Century Gothic';"><span style="color:#FF0000;">I've wondered the same thing. I had such short-term knowledge of my 3rd pregnancy. Just one week between the surprise of being pregnant (test at dr's office) and surgery for a ruptured ectopic.<br><br>
We also dealt with fertility issues between #1 and #2. I do know I was much more panicky about potential problems with #2 because it had just taken us so darn long to conceive that I couldn't imagine going through a loss as well. Not any fertility issues it seems between #2 & #3. Open to life but not actively charting and taking advantage of fertile times or that sort of thing. I think I actually got a period when newly pregnant. Not just implantation spotting. A real period, probably because it was ectopic so there was no implantation in my womb.<br><br>
*If* we are so blessed as to become pregnant again, I know my major panic time will be in the beginning, until another ectopic is ruled out. Since having one ectopic increases your chances of having another, that thought will definitely be first and foremost. Then the other panic will probably set in, because I can't imagine losing another babe at all. So hard to say.<br><br>
JET<br></span></span>
 
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