[ThinkBlu]

DS is 2.5 years. He sucks his thumb, on his own terms, mainly at nap / bed time. For a while, I assumed that like some kids with pacifiers or some with nursing, that he would just outgrow it, but as I look around, it seems that kids that suck their thumbs/fingers more often than not, just get to an age where they become more discrete, but continue the habit even when they themselves wish they could stop. It seems that most reach a point where they don't want to be a 'thumb sucker' but that the behavior is habitual and somewhat beyond their control. I would be interested in any insight that you may have on the subject, I don't want to deprive my son of something comforting and in my opinion harmless, but on the other hand, I don't want it to turn into something of which he is embarrassed or something which negatively affects his opinion of himself. (I say this as an ex-finger sucker who felt ashamed, despite the fact that I don't think anyone did anything to shame me.)

How does thumb sucking end? Do some children outgrow it at some 'young' age, or is it something that is ended as an act of will power?

Is there anything that I should / could be doing now or future to help / support?

 

[Gigi2214]

Hi Thinkblu,

My daughter is also 2.5 yrs and she started sucking her thumb when she was about 3mths. She also became attached to this blankie we used as a burp cloth and has had it 24-7 ever since. I also sucked my thumb as a child. I beleive till I was about 5-6. My daughter sucks her thumb when she's sleepy, cranky, or just about to fall asleep. The same with the blankie, those are the only times she looks for it.

I feel that babies are babies and I don't want to beat myself up over her sucking her thumb. That is comforting to her and I don't honestly know when I will take it away, but I don't want to wait till she's 5 like my mom did. But then again, I don't know about you, but I get so weak with my babies. I hate to see them cry and I think when I find a way for her to stop, It'll hurt me more

I definitely do not agree with adults still sucking their thumb, I know quite a few.

Maybe she might outgrow it like your baby might.

What my mom did was take an Aloe plant, and directly from the plant spread Aloe on my thumb... both! I still remember that yucky taste till this day and that did the trick. Hope I helped

 

[MysteryMama]

my oldest ds (now 7) started sucking his thumb at 1 month old, and continued to suck it all the time (while playing, napping, etc) for about 3 years... it would actually get chapped in the winter! since he constantly had his thumb in his mouth, i was a bit concerned it would be a hard habit to break, but around the time he turned 3 he slacked off, only sucking it at bedtime, nap time, or when he was tired or stressed. the older he got, the less he sucked it. he now almost never sucks it. so i woulden't worry about it too much.

 

[Kidzaplenty]

My brother did it as a child and still does it when in a deep sleep.

My oldest son sucked his thumb from day one, when one interfering, busybody put his thumb in his mouth for him. He found he liked it and I could never stop it from that time on (and we tried litterally EVERYTHING for him ~ except the aloe vera that pp mentioned ~ I am going to give that a try). He is now 10 and only does if very rarely.

My second son did NOT suck his thumb until he was 2. At that time, circumstances caused a security issue with him and be began to suck his thumb all the time. He is now 6, and is sucking anytime he gets tired, slows down, or is bored. We remind him to not suck, but he always forgets.

None of my other children have ever sucked their thumb.

I have always tried to gently break the habbit. I don't want it continuing like my brother's habbit has done (he is now 37). I just make sure that, since for us it is a security issue, I am doing everything in my power to make my child feel safe and secure.

 

[snuggly mama]

My oldest dd was born sucking her thumb -- she actually had a blister on it at birth! She was an avid thumb-sucker throughout toddlerhood, and it persisted into her grade-school years. At around 7 yrs. old, she became very upset that she couldn't stop, even though she very much wanted to. We eventually had an orthodontic appliance placed that helped remind her not to suck her thumb. (Because she thumb-sucked so much, she had a huge gap between top and bottom teeth, which corrected quickly once she was able to stop).

Lots of people have asked us if we wished we had "made" her stop when she was younger. The truth is, she has lots of anxiety issues and I think she really needed her thumb when she was younger because it gave her such a sense of comfort. I wish we could have found a way to help her without resorting to orthodontics, but she did really great with that route.

For a casual thumb-sucker, my guess is that they will outgrow it once they find other ways to self-soothe.

 

[~minnow~]

I sucked my thumb until I was about 8. I finally stopped at the time I got the orthodontic applicance mentioned above -- but honestly, there were ways around the appliance and I mostly stopped because I was ready, if only because it seemed embarrassing that I was in like third grade and still sucked my thumb. I also ate a lot of paper, tearing out the corners of all my books and putting them into my mouth.

I don't know what it was all about, anxiety possibly, but I remember it fondly as something that really gave me a lot of pleasure and contentment. For that reason I am ambivalent about the giving of advice on thumb-sucking; it was mildly embarrassing and it probably contributed to the overbite teeth issues for which I had to have braces (though my brother didn't suck his thumb and also required braces). But I'm not entirely convinced that NOT sucking my thumb would have been good for me. It was a way of learning that I had the capability to comfort myself and it was something that other people didn't understand and that made me see it as something unique and private. (I too mostly did it when I was falling asleep, though I'd do it in crowds if I was uncomfortable or bored.)

This is all a long-winded way of saying, if breaking the habit seems distressing to him, it will probably not harm him and could even be valuable in some ways if he keeps on. I think in my case stopping was a bit of outside pressure, orthdontic applicance, and simply being ready combined with a bit of will. (Someone tried painting my thumb with something nasty but duh, I just washed it off. My mom also put mitts on me but that didn't work either.) Maybe lessons in how to relax and fall asleep might have helped too -- it was hard to fall asleep without my thumb. Oh -- I think I would've felt better about it if my parents had been more supportive about it. I probably felt guilty about not being able to stop when they would make cracks about it, but also mad because it was MY thumb, it wasn't hurting anyone, and I really liked doing it.

Okay so this post was like therapy I think.

 

[Kidzaplenty]

I guess that is why I have always tried to "gently" break the habbit. I know it is a security issue, and I don't want to cause more insecurities by forcing the issue. I also would never embarrass my child for it either. I gently remind my son, "no thumb" and he stops. He says he wants to stop, so that is a sign to me to keep reminding him. I learned with my first son that force will never work here.

 

[MamaBug]

Moving this to Toddlers

 

[PinkSunfish]

I remember making a conscious decision to stop sucking my thumb when I was about eight. No-one tried to pressure me into stopping, I decided on my own. It was around the same time that I started calling my parents Mum and Dad rather than Mummy and Daddy. part of growing up I suppose

Personally I wouldn't worry about it, he'll stop when he's ready to stop.

My DD2 sucks her thumb and I am happy for her to do it until whenever.

 

[hakeber]

I sucked my thumb until I was 13...the dentsist always used to warn my parents that it would cause a terrible need for braces, and my cousin's parents were so freaked out they had thumb spurs inserted into the roof of her mouth to prick her thumb when she put it in (she also had a lisp so they had tongue spurs put in too...Nice right?)

My grandmother teased me relentlessly, painted my thumb nail with hot mustard nail polish, and tried taping a mitten on my hand...but I needed it, and I managed to get my thumb in my mouth when I needed to. I guess I just out grew it...I don't remember consciously stopping; it sort of faded away...less and less at school or in public by the time I was five, and then less and less in front of family or in my room by the time I was seven or so, and then finally, I just stopped it altogether.

Turns out all that thumb sucking DID push my teeth out and make a huge gap, which then filled back in to make a perfect smile when my wisdom teeth began pushing their way in at about 16...so go figure! I now have perfectly straight ideally aligned teeth and I never did wear braces.

 

[MamaBug]

Moving again to Childhood Years to see if you get a boader range of resposes from ppl with older children

 

[Thalia the Muse]

I agree that it's not a big deal, that kids stop when they're ready, and that if your son is asking for help to stop it's fine to remind him gently when you see him sucking it.

 

[Venice Mamacita]

I sucked my fingers until I was 7. It's a self-soothing behavior, and one I wouldn't discourage in your DS just yet. I also had a blanket and teddy bear as transitional objects, and was ridiculed by various family members (which I firmly believe served only to prolong the finger sucking as a way for me to deal with my shame). It was an act of willpower on my part when I stopped.

My DS doesn't suck his fingers or have a blanket or teddy he can't live without, but he does still nurse and drinks rice milk from a bottle at the age of 3.25. So sucking is a way for him to self-soothe, too.

I think commenting on it in any way just draws attention. Your DS will give it up when he doesn't need to do it anymore.

 

[koofie]

I sucked my thumb until I was 12. At around 7-8, I know I slowed a bit, so that I tended to do it only when I was upset. By the time I was 12 it was only VERY occasionally. I stopped because I was a very independant person and I didn't like the way it made me feel dependant. At the same time, I always had anxiety issues and thumb-sucking helped me get through rough times.

My only problem is that I always knew which hand was my right because I associated it with my thumb-sucking hand, and I have a LOT of problems now figuring out my right from my left

Oh, and I was the only one in my family who didn't need braces! DD sucks her tumb at 3.5, but she now only does it when she is tired. Once she is asleep she stops.

 

[arlecchina]

I still suck my thumb now. and I dont have bad teeth from it. never needed braces, etc. neither did my sister. nor my aunt or grandmother who sucked thumbs that I know of well inot their 50s

(not that I think they suddenly stopped, I just never saw it again) I cant think of which forum but this was recently discussed last week with me and quite a few other posters who still do, and never had dental issues. Imean just figure so amny have an overbite/braces anyways. I suspect when the child sucked fingers/thumb that it gets blamed when it would have happened regardless.

 

[koofie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by arlecchina I still suck my thumb now. and I dont have bad teeth from it. never needed braces, etc. neither did my sister. nor my aunt or grandmother who sucked thumbs that I know of well inot their 50s (not that I think they suddenly stopped, I just never saw it again) I cant think of which forum but this was recently discussed last week with me and quite a few other posters who still do, and never had dental issues. Imean just figure so amny have an overbite/braces anyways. I suspect when the child sucked fingers/thumb that it gets blamed when it would have happened regardless.

It might also have to do with how hard the kid sucks their thumb/fingers. I have seen some kids who will actually "suck" continously and hard. When I was older, maybe 6+, I would occasionally "suck", but having my thumb in my mouth was the important part

 

[Dakota's Mom]

My DS still sucks his thumb. He has ever since we met him when he was 3 months old. He is now 4. The other day I told him to stop sucking his thumb. He replied, "But I need something in my mouth." How many adults can't get through a day without a cigarette, gum or something else in their mouths. I guess I'll be happy with his thumb for a while longer.

Kathi