hm...well...you're the mother...and you can just tell your MIL that if she insists on doing what she wants when she wants to that you'll let her see your DS when YOU want and where YOU want. if she can't respect your wishes, she doesn't get to see your kid. plain and simple to me. sure you don't want to keep family members out of his life, but what good are they doing if they refuse to respect the way you'd like your son to be treated? she sounds like an annoying ninny to me.