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<p>I HATE confrontation. I am on a committee with a mom that is VERY assertive/aggressive. She will be in your face over small details, and will not hear anyone else but herself. Do my fellow MDC'ers have tips on dealing with this very difficult personality type?</p>
 

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<p>I would make sure you state that you hear her/understand her. Sometimes people like that just think that no one is listening to them (which is probably the case because they are too overbearing!).</p>
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<p>Also, having ground rules for meetings is always good ie. everyone gets a chance to share their ideas, ideas will be voted on, no yelling allowed etc.</p>
 

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<p>I try to state my suggestions and opinions in her terms, using her vocabulary.  It's kind of a tweak on hearing her -- my way of explaining that my side of the issue, or my methodology, does indeed address her concerns.  That said, not everyone in a group is invested in its mission over their own priorities; in that case, I use the language of the group's charter, or agenda, or whatever's most applicable.</p>
 

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<p>I find that sometimes it's necessary to use counselor-speak with people like that. I might say something like "It seems like you have strong feelings about this." That part usually takes the wind out of their sails a little bit.</p>
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<p>Once they calm down a bit then I would state the actual point, although often the actual point is something like "I believe that *I* volunteered to handle this aspect of the project and I would appreciate it if you would allow me to do so." However, most of the community groups that I am involved in have a strong leaning towards Do-Acracy (the person <span style="text-decoration:underline;">doing</span> the job makes the decisions about it). In other groups that might not suffice. Another strategy, if it is a group discussion, is to ask for a vote on whatever the issue is. This can prevent one person from bullying everyone into doing what they want by being the loudest speaker.</p>
 
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