Tired, cranky and unmotivated

737 Views 10 Replies 10 Participants Last post by magemom, Jul 4, 2004

Bethla

Discussion Starter · Jun 28, 2004

For the past few months I've found I have no motivation, even for stuff I used to think was fun. I look around the house and it's a disaster area. Crumbs everywhere, dirty dishes in the sink, the laundry piling up. I don't even know where to begin. I don't want to begin. I work on the weekends-16 hours and I have one night class during the week. So I have a lot of time during the week to do activities with the kids, but they easily irritate me. Even taking them out in the backyard or for a walk around the block is tiring.

I never seem to accomplish anything, if I do it's short-lived. Like the housework. My dh helps a little, not much. I was sick for four days and he never cleaned or did any laundry and then complained that he had no clean underwear. Hello! Your arms aren't broken! I'm still playing catch-up with the housework that accumulated.

My parents watch the kids at night while I take my class. My mom seems pretty stressed out with them there four nights a week, so I can't ask her to watch them so I can get some stuff done around the house. My mother-in-law is too wrapped up in her own life with her boyfriend and she's scared to watch our youngest because he has a heart condtion. I just feel like I'm floating in a raft out in the middle of a vast ocean with no oars and I'm being told to row faster.

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grnmtnmama

· #2 · Jun 28, 2004

I hear you. right now i'm ignoring the laundry, the dishes and getting ready for tomorrow to sit at the computer.

I just can't face it all the time. I let myself accumulate housework, pretty soon I'll get charged and deal with it quickly and efficiently. And until then I try to ignore it.

Hang in there.

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Piglet68

· #3 · Jun 28, 2004

a) you sound a bit depressed...maybe I'm reading too much into it, or maybe you should think about checking that out more

b) your DH really needs to help you out. you two need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart and explain to him first, how you are feeling, and then second, what he can do to help.

if he still refuses...let him wear dirty underwear!

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singermom

· #4 · Jun 28, 2004

You sound overwhelmed, and with good reason. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel on any of this? Will your class be over soon? When I get in over my head with obligations (which happens more than I would like for it to, and which I am definitely trying to change), I try to focus on when whatever it is that is stressing me out will change or be finished, or whatever.

Also, I'm a big fan of lowering your expectations. Yeah it would be nice to get the laundry done all the time, but some days it is going to happen, and some days it isn't. And I'm with Piglet on having that heart to heart with your DH about roles and expectations.

Good luck!

Mia

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tracymom

· #5 · Jun 29, 2004

Seconding all the above, plus adding that maybe if you haven't been to see your health care provider in a while, that might be a good idea, particularly if the fatigue is a new thing for you. Your hormone levels might be off. It could be depression, but it could also be thyroid or hypoglycemic symptoms causing irritation and fatigue.

Good luck!

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Liz

· #6 · Jun 29, 2004

If your husband won't help with the housework then can he at least take the kids to the park or something while you do it? I hate trying to get housework done with my 4 year old around. I like to be able to devote all my attention to it and do a good job.

Also on the dh front, we have found that there are things my dh is actually better at than me (gasp). He does the laundry (just the darks, he can't be trusted with whites) and I put it away. That's another thing chop things up into little tasks. Nobody should have to do laundry beginning to end. He loads the dishwasher, I unload it. You get the idea. It has just evolved this way, it wasn't done in one big discussion but it's working pretty well now!

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redhot

· #7 · Jun 30, 2004

Hang in there!! I too have lowered my expectations of my house and I am working on relaxing on my husband.
Sounds like you could use some extra help. Maybe a friend could watch the kids for a hour or two, so you can first get some sleep and then maybe the next time get some work down.
Throw on some of you favorite music and have some fun!
Hugs to you!

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southrngrlnusa

· #8 · Jul 3, 2004

I know exactly what you are saying. I work 4 days a week. Not to mention the zoo I come home too. Plus my mother (whom has cancer) needs me every minute I'm not doing something else. (Not complaining)
I feel like I have no life what-so-ever. I have been to the doctor about depression, but to this date have not found anything that works!
I have 4 children. My hubby stays home with them during the day. Sometimes though, I hang around WORK to get a brake!!!
In my house also, I will clean it spotless...10 minutes later...it's wrecked again

:
Sometimes it helps to talk with people that are going through the same thing. Hang in there...we are all here for you..well for 1 hour at 7am, 34 min at noon, then maybe 45 min evening..depends on if my youngest decideds to color on the wall tonight or not!!!!HAHA :LOL

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Evan&Anna's_Mom

· #9 · Jul 3, 2004

Seconding all that is above about getting help, asking for DH's help and being evaluated for depression or another health problem. Also, when was the last time you took a break, just for yourself? I know that it takes a major effort to make it work, but maybe an afternoon to yourself would help you figure out where to turn to next.

You have to take care of yourself so that you can take better care of the others who depend on you.

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Bethla

Discussion Starter · #10 · Jul 4, 2004

Thank you to everyone that responded. Just reading your replies make me feel better. I know I need to be more pro-active with myself. And definitely take better care of myself.
My dh did the grocery shopping today and went and got the stuff we needed for camping next weekend. It feels good that he did that without me having to ask or even suggest it. I know he sees me and all that I do. But when you're the mom you are the CEO of the household. I feel like I'm responsible for everything! And that is so tiring!
I went to the dr. already and they ran tests and physically I'm fine. I'm just drained spiritually and I'm sleep deprived from the 18 mo who wants "boobie fest" all night long. That's what we call our nursey time.

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magemom

· #11 · Jul 4, 2004

1- buy more underwear.
2- rotate what you do, dishes, laundry, whatever keeps you busy.
3- reward yourself. I rent a movie or watch a favorite show while folding laundry. yes I owuld like it all done at once, but that doesn't happen. 2x a week I try to take me time and fold. Sounds silly but my kids leave me alone while I fold so I have been known to sit in the middle of the laundry pile for much longer than in 'should' take to fold.

I went away for 4 nights. DD said the house was much cleaner while I was gone. I get home and find they ate out every night but 1, didn't take any trash out (missed trash day) and did only the towels for laundry. She meant toy clutter since they weren't doing anything else. Bathrooms were all gross and the floors were sticky. My plan for this weekend was to get baby stuff out and wash diapers. So I am. General laundry is piled up but I did take 3 bags of trash out. I might do some general cleaning- or assign it out. Took the little boys to the zoo and decided it was the right thing.

I am also worn out, depressed (medicated) and very pregnant in this hot summer. I take 2 rests a day on the weekend and if my standards get any lower I will not survive. We will have a clean house when we are old and lonely. For now, a shovel works wonders.

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