Mothering Forum banner
1 - 20 of 50 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,924 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
okay so im venting i guess... but i get so tired of seeing newborns or older babies out in public being given a bottle that appears to be an avent bottle of breast milk by mom. And i know some women are not comfortable nursing in public but where are the ones who are comfortable??? I never see them!!!! i just want to go over to these mamas and say something!!! i wouldnt dare but.... guess thats why my bumper sticker says " bare your breasts for babies" .....<br>
i dont REALLY want them to bare their breasts for the public to see , just for baby to nurse!!!!!!!!<br>
it's soooooo frustrating to see this so much!!!!<br>
thanks for letting me vent!<br>
Laura<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/disappointed.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="disappointed">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
654 Posts
ita!<br>
i feel that it is my "duty" to discretely bf in public, without a blanket over the babies head<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">: , and wear dd in the sling.<br>
i actually started small talk with a momwho was doing just this thing, and bf'ed while we were talking to show her that it can be no big deal (dd was hungry i honestly didn't plan it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> )<br>
hopefully more and more of us will effect the "masses" and there will be a boob for every babe (lol, i should make a bumber sticker that says that <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> )
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,527 Posts
this really happens? wow!<br><br>
I've had a friend's baby a couple of times in the sling out in the mall (I was watching him one morning a week for a few months) and I gave him EBM in a bottle. I didn't know that mothers did this at all! It seems like so much work!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
819 Posts
I agree. I don't mind it if the mom is doing it because that's what she's really comfortable with, but a lot of moms think that they HAVE to. They don't even know that they are "allowed" to nurse in public. I actually had a conversation with a cashier at Wal-Mart one day when my baby was tiny. She asked me how I was feeding him, and I told her I was nursing. Her next question was if we "only used bottles" when we were out in public. She was very surprised when I told her that we NEVER used bottles. Actually, she didn't have any kids, and I think it kind of turned her off. Oh well. She'll get over it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,975 Posts
I'm glad you didn't see me giving my dd that Avent bottle of BM sometime during that first 16 weeks we struggled with latch problems and am really glad you don't dare say anything. I probably would have burst into tears and threw something at anyone who'd dare say anything to me about it. I even bravely went to an LLL meeting during that time and had to feed dd with the bottle. Like Lauress they didn't 'dare' say anything but the looks were quite enough. Needless to say never went back to that LLL group ever again.<br><br>
When dd was a newborn, I felt uncomfortable NIP due being unable to latch her on and her fussing because she couldn't get enough due to her latch problems. I also felt uncomfortable giving her bottles around some BF mothers. Attitudes like this and lack of support leave these mothers very housebound.<br><br>
Having said that, among the BF moms I know, about 3 give bottles because they need to supplement (and yes they have VALID reasons..) And 1 gives bottles because she's uncomfortable NIP due to REALLY overactive letdown and a very distractable baby. That's her prerogative. I imagine this is typical. As others said, pumping is a lot of work and I imagine most of the moms pumping and using bottles are doing it for a good reason.<br><br>
Now I'm sure the OP didn't mean mothers in my situation but I want to point out that you really have no idea why that mom is giving that bottle and it's premature to judge her.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13,153 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by wombat</i><br><b>I even bravely went to an LLL meeting during that time and had to feed dd with the bottle. Like Lauress they didn't 'dare' say anything but the looks were quite enough. Needless to say never went back to that LLL group ever again.<br>
.</b></td>
</tr></table></div>
wombat, I am so sorry the moms in your LLL group seemed judgemental! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"> My goodness, over the yrs, we have seen many moms at LLL mtgs (and conferences) with bottles (SNS or finger feeidng, pacifiers), all were struggling with latch, allergies, prematurity, cleft palate, or twins, etc. We really emphasize acceptance and try to model it. I hope you found a better group that was more loving and welcoming.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
471 Posts
Hmmm, I wonder if all the moms using Avent bottles, or similar products are actually feeding EBM. I have a non-nursing neighbor who uses Avent. They sell them in all the stores, and sometimes it is just what the formula feeding mom happened to buy. I do agree that we need more NIP to change our culture, and could see how it is annoying to see women hiding or bottle feeding all the time. It contributes to the perception that breastfeeding is bothersome.<br><br>
BUT, I am glad Wombat reminded us that we never truly know why some women are bottle feeding, and should reserve judgement of individual women, if we don't know them well. I have no problem being judgemental about our society as a whole, but I agree, we can't judge any individual woman unless we really know her situation. Good for you for hanging in there and pumping even when it was difficult. I am sorry you didn't get the support you needed then.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
107 Posts
I don't give my DD bottles of breastmilk in public -- she won't take them -- but I also have yet to breastfeed in public. If she needs to eat while we're out, I take her to the car.<br><br>
As much as I feel it's my responsibility to help mainstream breastfeeding, it's hard. I live in an extremely conservative area, and I have never -- repeat, never -- seen another woman breastfeed in public. My parents don't even want me to breastfeed at their house unless we move to another room -- and my mother breastfed!<br><br>
I also only have one nursing shirt, and the rest of the time, I am really not keen on showing my stomach in public. I rarely wear shorts, for heaven's sake.<br><br>
The inner conflict is driving me batshit.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,196 Posts
bizarrogirl, how awful to have to go sit in a car. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
I b/f wherever and whenever I need to. And enjoy it, esp if it makes a stir. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
However, I was more reluctant at first - no - dh was more reluctant, which made me feel self-conscious. But once we got the latch sorted out and I had some nursingwear, things were dandy, and I gained confidence.<br><br>
If some nursing tops would help you feel more comfortable NIP, email me and I'll willingly sort out what I have and send them to you. Tshirts work best for me anyway. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I say, go for it, and you'll soon get used to it. Why not go shopping with a friend who is supportive of NIP, and tell her in advance that you will nurse when your baby needs to. If you have someone to sit and chat to, it's much easier.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
22,696 Posts
Well, there is a kind of attitude that I've encountered that even if you are breastfeeding, you will need bottles for when you are in public. Like it is a matter of course that a mom would just give a bottle in public because of course she couldn't actually nurse. So I understand the OP's feeling towards that attitude, which can make it harder for those of us who don't wish to express and use bottles just for someone else's comfort level.<br><br>
I actually couldn't nurse in public for awhile just because I didn't have the hang of doing it comfortably. There was overactive letdown, lots of leaking, the time it took to actually get the baby latched, and I needed a lot of support and pillows and stuff, and actually nursing in public seemed like it might be impossible. Then somehow I got the hang of it and I did it a lot. There can definitely be a learning curve for NIP comfortably. One day after my daughter was fairly well established in the nursing relationship-- I'm thinking she was probably over a year old--I was nursing her at a sidewalk table and I shot a stream of breastmilk up in the air, not too far from the heads of two teenaged boys. They never noticed it because it didn't come that close to them, but doggone, I was choking down the laughter. It was just one of those fluke things that happened when my daughter pulled off an an inopportune moment.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,924 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
so, in no way was i trying to judge this one particular woman or any other particular woman. As i stated: Im looking for the ones who are nursing in public and do not see them. instead, I see bottles and sometimes they are advent , and yes, then I assume, also by noting the color, that it is ebm.<br>
My point was and is that it is soooo frustrating. yes, I have been the new bfing mom and knew then that if society was more accepting of bfing I wouldnt have to go "bat shit" w/ inner conflict as bizzarogirl so aptly put it. and still, five years later after learning just how to bf my 2 yr old in public proudly and knowing there is still a 'campaign' of sorts to promote bfing---- things out in the f#$**3!! up world are the Same!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/disappointed.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="disappointed"><br>
I am totally aware that there are many hurdles to get over in nursing relationships and that sometimes it requires using a bottle. i am also aware that not all women are brave enough to nip and I feel totally mad that it should take guts to do something so natural and basic. thats why i do it. and i wonder where all the others are????
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,952 Posts
Sometimes I nurse in the car. But not because of the "bare breast" issue, because of the "distracted baby" issue. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
It's cool that people know what EBM looks like, then they are probably giving me credit for pumping out all those bottles of milk my dh gives ds in public.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12 Posts
When I first started bfeeding, I was petrified<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/scared.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="scared"> to do it in public, esp. since ds hated being under a blanket or nursing cape. Then, I had to meet with a LC for something and she made me feed ds in front of a mirror to show me that you can hardly see anything. If I'm at a store or mall that has place to go that's NOT a dirty bathroom, I'll go there. If not, I do it right out in the open. He has to eat and I'm not going into a smelly bathroom to feed my son. It's interesting that some babies will take EBM from mom. My ds hardly takes a bottle for others, but won't even go near a bottle if I'm even in the room. I couldn't give him a bottle in public even if I wanted to! I have a friend who is formula feeding <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> and it seems like so much trouble to go out anywhere. I don't know how they do it...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,892 Posts
Okay, a bit OT, but...<br>
a close friend of mine never had an issue NIP, even with a tiny newborn. She sticks her babe in the Baby Bjorn, lifts her entire shirt, and continues shopping as the baby nurses from her totally-exposed breast! I think it is totally awesome. I know most first time moms are NOT this gutsy!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,959 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by HeatherL</i><br><b>...ds hated being under a blanket or nursing cape</b></td>
</tr></table></div>
A "nursing cape"???? What the h*ll is that? Good lord. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">: (not aimed at you, Heather, but at whoever thought the world really needed a product like that)<br><br>
At a recent indoor toddler activity place I saw a woman with a very new baby trying to BF him while juggling the giant receiving blanket she was using to try and cover herself. I toodled over there with 14 mo DD, sat down next to her, smiled and asked her about my baby, while DD lifted up my shirt and began to nurse, lol! I was hoping to make her feel more comfortable. Nursing a 4 week old is hard enough with only two hands, and adding a blanket to that seemed like such a total waste of energy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
646 Posts
Can I just say "WOW" to everyone? It is so great to see such enthusiasm about breastfeeding! I live in a rather conservative area (although it is slowly moving more "granola" -- thank heavens) and I have never seen another mother NIP. I don't go to the mall very often (twice in the last four months), but I'm tempted just to go there some afternoon and NIP just to cause everyone to think twice about how basic the feeding process is, and question why it isn't done more in public. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/headscratch.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="headscratch"><br>
Granted, I do pump for my DD, but we only use bottles as a backup (on the 2 hr drive to my parents' house) or when DH is babysitting so I can get some work done. While DD doesn't really enjoy the bottle, my DH enjoys being the only person (besides myself) who can even get DD to take the bottle when I'm unavailable.<br>
Sad that such a loving (yet basic) gesture is construed as unappropriate. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
57 Posts
Like a few posters have mentioned, I have NEVER seen ANYONE NIP in my city (I've lived here since '95), nor had I in my last residence.(Tallahassee, FL)<br><br>
The people at my work are totally squeamish about me PUMPING for God's sake! My office is totally private, and I'm not blatant about it or anything and they still act grossed out.<br><br>
I don't get it.<br><br>
MIL & FIL are grossed out. With all this negativity, is it any wonder why I don't NIP? I feel guilty that I don't, but with sleep deprivation and major stress at work, I don't think I need to take on the whole city of Greensboro right now.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13,153 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by Piglet68</i><br><b>A "nursing cape"???? What the h*ll is that? Good lord. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">: .</b></td>
</tr></table></div>
here you go Piglet:<br><br><a href="http://www.growinglife.com/NursingAcc/ncape.htm" target="_blank">http://www.growinglife.com/NursingAcc/ncape.htm</a><br><br>
or<br><br><a href="http://www.angelfire.com/comics/hathor/malegaze.html" target="_blank">http://www.angelfire.com/comics/hathor/malegaze.html</a>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
107 Posts
Not to shirk responsibility, or hijack the thread, but it would help immensely if breastfeeding were EVER portrayed on TV!<br><br>
The last time I saw breastfeeding on tv (other than Baby Story) was in the movie Clash of the Titans. Remember that movie from, oh, two decades ago?<br><br>
Conversely, 99.9% of the time you see a baby fed on television, they have a bottle (usually with formula) plugged into their mouth.<br><br>
Grr!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13,153 Posts
On the show 30something, Hope bfed.<br><br>
Rosanne bfed.<br><br>
Juliana Margulies bfed, and pumped for, twins on ER.<br><br>
So did Dr Green's wife, forget her name.<br><br>
Rachel bfed on Friends last season.<br><br>
I hardly ever watch TV sitcoms or dramas, so there may have been more?
 
1 - 20 of 50 Posts
Top