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Cross posting in a couple areas...desperate for help...<br><br>
My sleep is gone. His sleep is gone. Of the two of us, one doesn't seem to be affected at all. Sleep training is totally not working....let me enlighten you in hopes you can enlighten me to WTH I am doing wrong? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy"><br><br>
I'm 13 weeks pregnant. I have always co-slept with my children. My husband however draws the line with one in the bed. I'm really in agreeance with him at the moment because our 18 month old is totally taking over our CalKing bed...and my boobs...and I'm sore and tired and done.<br><br>
So here's my life right now:<br>
We have hit sleep training very hard. And the backlash has been horrific. I have never in my life had such issues. I am not a proponent of the cry it out method, but I dare to say I'm nearing that end. Funny how you do something like sleep training in desperation to accomplish something like ...<b>sleep</b>... and you get totally the opposite. You reach an odd place of lost sanity. Lost to the point where you know it's lost, and don't seem to care. (this is where such posts come from)<br><br>
To the point:<br>
I made a nest on the floor near our bed. He is surrounded by the wall, the big bed and a desk, so it's akin to a little nest and not all of a sudden a wide open alone room. He is very close to us, so he can still hear all the same night time noises.<br><br>
He is now in a cycle...sleeping in our bed is not comfortable for him, he is now used to his own space. He is unable (or unwilling) however to bed down in his own little nest. Last night he was walked rocked shushed and butt patted for an hour and a half. I'm grateful his dad stepped in for about 30 min. My sanity was shot to the point of violent thoughts. Those are kind of scary. (I should add they were thoughts, not ever actions-things that come into your head in moments of powerlessness and desperation...)<br><br>
He wasn't screaming, but doing a soft little humming, and baby chatter to his sleepy bear. What I'd like to chalk up to self soothing except if I back away at all allowing him to hum or chatter himself to sleep...he sits up and starts crying. *sigh* There's no "self" about it-at all.<br><br>
If I pull him into our bed (the "oh screw it, I just NEED some sleep") he paws at me, nurses with near violent aggression (he now has a full mouth of teeth that grate my nipples which wouldn't be SO bad except that he kneads and pushes and pulls on my breasts, I cannot tell you the pain I am in this morning...I finally get so irritated and frustrated with it all that I tell him no, break his latch and make him roll over. Or I roll over. You an imagine the backlash I get for that, but I don't really care. (I have of course tried to get him to nurse gently but he doesn't-it's a very his way or highway situation-and mama's been opting highway lately)<br><br>
He flips and rolls, kicks and grumps and makes all kinds of screechy irritated kid noises-unable to settle all the way down into sleep. So we both sleep walk back to his nest. <b>When he finally does knock out-it's short lived.</b> He wakes every 2-3 hours fussing and crying and searching for me. I have to go back to the floor by his nest and pat pat pat and tell him to lay down and go to sleep. It takes 20-30 minutes to get him back down, for a mere couple hours rest. It's like he is stuck in this half slumber. It is very akin to having a newborn in the house again. Which I'm gearing up for yes, but not for this child! I certainly do not want to be up with "two" newborns in six months...I really can't handle it.<br><br>
I'm not in a good place at the moment. I'm certainly not looking forward very eagerly right now, which makes me feel so sad to not be having happy thoughts about this upcoming baby. I know my family would just judge me for that which is why I'm here. I'm wishing time would slow way the hell down so we can adjust. I'm not liking having to have this struggle with my sweet baby O, but know I cannot baby him forever and I am not superhuman. I must prepare for the near future as much as it makes me sad. I just wish I could be like an elephant and carry new baby for two years instead of only nine months. Mark those words, I doubt you'll hear them again <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
I'm going to try and find a book today, or a sleep advice place or something. Pregnancy hormones mixed with lack of sleep is not good. I'm irritable, irrational and frustrated. My whole house is awry from one little 25 pound sleep terrorist! I feel stupid that I can't get my kid to sleep. I feel stupid for having another one so soon. My house is thrashed and I've nothing to show for it. I'm totally at the end of my rope and I cannot believe I am about to do this all over. Any (please non judgmental) advice would be really appreciated for this sleep deprived mama in a fragile state of mind these days. Thanks so much!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> mama. My DS (15 mo) is a horrible sleeper as well. We haven't tried any sleep training (gentle or otherwise), because my fear is just what you describe- horrible backlash. On average he wakes every hour all night long. On a good night he does this and goes right back to sleep with a quick nursing. On a bad night he will stay awake for a couple hours rolling around in the bed unable to get back to sleep no matter what I do.<br><br>
It sounds like your DS is not ready for the change that you are placing on him. Have you heard of <a href="http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp" target="_blank">Dr. Jay Gordon't nightweaning program</a>? I suggest trying something like this with him still IN your bed, before trying to move him out and restrict nursing at the same time. See how the nightweaning goes, and then go from there. If it works well, maybe he will transition to another space more easily. How is your DH about helping with nightwaking?<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> hope you figure out something that works for you soon.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LadyCatherine185</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14712839"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> mama. My DS (15 mo) is a horrible sleeper as well. We haven't tried any sleep training (gentle or otherwise), because my fear is just what you describe- horrible backlash. On average he wakes every hour all night long. On a good night he does this and goes right back to sleep with a quick nursing. On a bad night he will stay awake for a couple hours rolling around in the bed unable to get back to sleep no matter what I do.<br><br>
It sounds like your DS is not ready for the change that you are placing on him. Have you heard of <a href="http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp" target="_blank">Dr. Jay Gordon't nightweaning program</a>? I suggest trying something like this with him still IN your bed, before trying to move him out and restrict nursing at the same time. See how the nightweaning goes, and then go from there. If it works well, maybe he will transition to another space more easily. How is your DH about helping with nightwaking?<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> hope you figure out something that works for you soon.</div>
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Thank you so much for that link...it is printing as I type <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> To answer your question: DH is good if I asked him in advance for help, but he likes to find his own method, which usually involves baby O teaching DH what he likes and doesn't for a few nights. It's frustrating for me to watch, although like I posted last night I had to let go and let DH do whatever so I could clear my thoughts. He tends to walk him around the house singing and patting and rocking. It's sweet and all, I just think baby O needs to do all that...in a bed. DH is way higher energy than me. Of course once he's asleep, he doesn't fare as well as I when being woke up. He tends to be snappy, and cause more tears than gentle loving sleepy reminders. I admit the burden is really mostly on me, which in light of the rest of our lives really is fair (I won't go into great detail) In short-I need to do this mostly on my own-as sexist as that sounds it's what's right for us in this case. Of course DH would help out if it was at that point he's not a total selfish imp-but, yeah, you know what I mean.<br><br>
I really like this article, and it makes sense. I hope I can still give it a shot, even though I have it all messed up right now with his little floor nest. I'm going to have to study it a little with my sleepy brain and see if I can get it to "go" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> I love our family bed, but it seems like he gets less sleep in it than in his own nest. Perhaps I'm just not hearing the thrashing when he is down by my side and not directly by me.<br><br>
I wish I could go "third person" I always seem to see the answers for others, or have a good tip or two...not so much on this one. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"><br><br>
I wish you well with your 15 mo old. I have nursed all my kids, but this one the longest. I never knew they could still nurse like newborns for so long. I wish my son would use the "quick nursing" you say yours does. Mine is at the buffet...grazing for 45 min and up. I think he's just sleeping at breast but no matter how sneakily I try and slip away...the cries are certain to come in response. All of my other kids had paci's, and I so wish he would take one. He really has a sucking fettish :p<br><br>
Thank you mama-much needed article...
 

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no advice, just commiseration. I came in her to see if anyone else was having similar problems.<br><br>
DD is almost 1 yr and waking up constantly. Last night I patted and shushed for 2.5 hrs after she woke up in the middle of the night. The night before I p&s for... um, 5 hours? She's in a crib beside our bed (she's not a good cosleeper, she really needs her own space) and I slept with my arm through the crib rails so I could pat her without sitting up. Shie just can't move from semi-asleep to being actually ASLEEP after she wakes up, so she wiggles and rolls and grunts and sings to herself and nothing I do seems to matter.<br><br>
so I feel ya. Hoping someone has advice!
 
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