Mothering Forum banner

To carry or ... not?

566 Views 4 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  afishwithabike
I love wearing my daughter --11 mos-- especially since i got my ergo

however, i now watch an 8 mo. old with some pretty severe attachment issues. he cries constantly when not being carried. i change dd's diaper while he cries, i go potty while he cries...
he's light and seems to enjoy the ergo, but then my dd is left to play and put up with ds--3--.
i miss my dd
, but am enjoying the peace that carrying the little guy brings.
am i going to further his issues by carrying him here? should i slowly wean him from my arms, lap, and carrier?
i've tried the ergo/mei tai combo carry...not real comfy
See less See more
1 - 5 of 5 Posts
i think you should carry him as much as he needs. it won't make him feel more secure to not have his needs attended to.

but your dd deserves to be carried and be secure, too.
can you try two unpadded ring sling, in the twin cross-carry?
two mei-tais, rather than a mei-tai and ergo?

maybe put on the sling, then put on the mei-tai, put a baby on your back and a baby on your front.

i don't envy you this, it sounds tough.

you need to contact a mothers of multiples group to get more ideas!
i used to watch a little boy like that. he spent his entire life in his highchair or his crib, and when i started watching him and actually holding him, he wouldn't let me put him down. it was fine for a while, but then he started kicking and pushing my kids when i would hold them. i stopped watching him because it wasn't fair to my kids that i had to hold him and only him all day, and it wasn't fair to him that i leave him on the floor to cry while i cared for my kids.
How interesting, and what a tough situation. I'm forced to wonder if the carrying/attachment needs are not being met by these children's own parents, which leads them to be so clingy when they are lucky enough to get a pro AP sitter to come along and be willing to carry them, kwim?

Further proof that babes need to be carried, and that forcing a baby to be independant very early does not make them more secure.
I wear my two. I use an African Style wrap to carry DD on my back then put DS in the sling on my hip. I widen the fabric of the sling in the back to it goes under dd's butt. They are both secure and happy. I LOVE it.
1 - 5 of 5 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.