To have a vag exam or not?

I have moments like that, but then I remember WHY I do not do vag exams.

For one:
They are an opportunity to introduce infection. They can push germs from the outside up into the vagina, and they can transfer germs from the examiner (even IF they use a glove, usually it's not a STERILE glove anyways). Since the info is useless for predicting labor, the "benefit" doesn't outweigh the risk!

For two: they are uncomfortable. I don't like having hands up there. I know it doesn't bother some people, but to me it's undignified (especially the way it's done in medical offices) and I don't enjoy the process.

For three:
I find it discourages me. Even *knowing* that I could go from 2 cm and barely effaced into active labor and holding a baby 8 hours later, hearing that I am "barely 2 cm" or whatever is depressing! Or, hearing that I am 3.5 and effacing gets me excited that I could have the baby "any time now" only to come back the next week and hear the SAME EXACT THING... 3.5 cm, any time now. Whatever...

So, for my own sanity, I don't give in to those occasional urges to "get checked" because past experience shows it's just not worth it to me.
Edited to add: I am 40w 4d today, none too happy about it, AND I had pre-labor from 2 pm til 9 pm last night that has made me extremely cranky!!!!

Kathryn

I had an OB/hospital birth last time, and was checked every week starting around 34-35 weeks. I was always so disappointed--I think my last check before DD's birth was "barely a fingertip."

This time I have a CNM/hospital birth, and she doesn't do VEs routinely, but asks if I want one. I have said no every time (40 weeks today), and it is SOOOOOO freeing! I don't have to feel disappointed or excited, and then a week later go back to hear the exact same thing. I love not knowing so much more than the way I did it the first time. I also love not finding "****" in places it shouldn't be for the rest of the day.

Also, it gives me another way to head off all the people calling me to find out when I'm going into labor. "Having contractions?" "No." "Well, how dilated are you?" "I don't know--my midwife doesn't check." "WHAT??? Why not???" "Because it doesn't mean anything." Yada, yada, yada.

I am just amazed at how crazy some of my friends/family get when I don't know the gender or how dilated I am. They just go beserk! Maybe that's it--I love driving everyone beserk, because they all drive me up the wall by calling to ask if I'm in labor yet, LOL!

I just had a MW appt yesterday (almost 40w) and had the MW do a VE. I must say I was curious, but more so, I want to go to a good friends baby shower, which is 3 hours from our home (only 2 from our hospital).

I'm hoping for a VBAC, as I never went into labor with DS, even after 42weeks (attempted 3 different days of induction, which put DS in distress on attempt #3, ending in CS). SO, this labor thing is all new to me. I'd been crampy off and on for a couple of weeks, but from the MW's exam I'm 'closed up tight'.

For me it was reassuring to know that although there's always the CHANCE for a fast onset of labor, with my past birth and the fact I have yet to experience contractions (that I was aware of at least) makes me more comfortable about taking the trip to the shower.

Anyway, I don't think I would have the VE if it were for merely curiosity sake, for the many reasons mentioned above, and for the fact that it can usually be more DIScouraging than ENcouraging. I was only happy with the news because of our plans for the weekend, but otherwise, I'm not too psyched that NOTHING is happening yet. SIGH. The more overdue I become, the more likely I head toward CS.... (which I am accepting of, as my first UNplanned CS was NOT a bad experience, but I really hope to experience the Power and Miracle of an unmedicated, vaginal birth).

Sorry for my ramblings....
Cheers,