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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I don't know which is better. To pay the kids for the chores they do and if they don't do them, they don't get spending/saving money? By this they will see that if they work, they will get rewarded.<br><br>
Or, to not pay for chores done because they should see that as part of the family, they should help out around the house. After all, DH and I aren't the ones making most of the messes! And just pay them an allowance so that they can have spending/saving money.<br><br>
One thing I see with paying them for chores is that it will be incentive for them to do them. They want the money so they do their chores without balking. If I don't pay them, they might not be so enthused about doing them. I've always paid them for chores in the past. What our deal was, was that I would remind them once about doing their chores. I will not remind and remind, and remind, and get on them about doing them. If they do forget, or complain then I will do it but I will get paid.<br><br>
Here are some particulars about our family. We live half the month at our home and half the month out of town at my parents home. So for 2 weeks out of the month, they would not be at home to get paid so that would be less money for them. Unless I have them help at grandma and grandpa's but that might be more difficult then useful. Also, in trying to keep spending down and not overindulging the kids, I want the kids to buy their own toys if it is not a special occasion such as birthday or christmas. Dh and I buy their needed things such as clothes, shoes, school stuff, sports equipment, but if my dc's want <i>another</i> barbie, baby dolly, videogame, hotwheels car, etc, then they can save up for it and buy it themselves.<br><br>
So what are your thoughts? Is it better to pay them for chores? Or just teach them that they should help out and give them allowance just because? And why do you feel the way you do?<br><br>
Wanted to quickly add, if you don't think it's good to pay for chores, then what do you do for incentive for them to do them? Or if looked at the other way, punishment? What is a good consequence for not doing chores?
 

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No reason to pay for chores - living in a house with a family has requirements - keeping your space clean, neat, livable is one of those requirements. The value of being neat & clean in your environment goes far beyond some monetary or gift reward - it should never be tied to that. It should be tied to FEELING good, both inside & outside, to good health, to being organized, to a sense of responsibility & job well done.<br><br>
I also don't see any reason for allowance - just because or otherwise - if children are old enough to understand the value of money, know why they want it, they are old enough to be entraupeneruial - to have frank discussions about the things they want, why they want them, and come up with a plan of how to get them, obviously with your help dependent on age.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ccasanova</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11561934"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Or, to not pay for chores done because they should see that as part of the family, they should help out around the house. After all, DH and I aren't the ones making most of the messes! And just pay them an allowance so that they can have spending/saving money.</div>
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I like this one, i don't pay my kids for their chores, Is my DS's(8) responsibility to make his bed every morning, to clean his room and the messes that he makes in general to keep his spece clean, those are the only "chores" that he has, and I don't know, I may be the minority here but we have 2 persons that come to our house 5 days a week to clean do do housework<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> So it will be ridiculous to pay him for those small three things that he does.<br><br>
My 14 year old and my 8 year old get money for their birthdays, it's up to them if they will spend it or save it.
 

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We all have to do chores in life because it has to be done. It teaches responsibility and self discipline.<br><br>
My kids don't get an allowance, but when they want something they ask for extra jobs to earn money and find ways to earn it. They are currently working on earning $100 just to have $100, it's really cute. They are keeping the money in a Lego box and they don't let anyone touch it unless it's to count it. They've got about $7 and they feel SO good about the fact that they truly earned every single penny, dime, and quarter.
 

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No pay for chores. Everyone who lives in the house can contribute to its care. Even my breadwinning hubby can be seen loading the dishwasher at night.<br><br>
My kids get allowance to learn to spend and save. We all do chores!
 

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well your situation is obviously different from mine. so i will just say what we do. i have an almost 7yo and a 4.5 yo. they don't have specific chores, but we all work together to keep our house clean. dd usually unloads the dishwasher first thing in the morning. we all fold laundry together and put away our own things. i generally sweep/mop, but they pick up their toys and things first. i don't really believe in paying them to do stuff. it's our house and we all have to keep it nice.<br><br>
we don't do allowance, either. we talk about money a lot, and about paying for bills and food and things, but if my kids want something and we have the money for it, etc, i will usually get it for them. or, if they want something and it doesn't seem doable, we explain that.
 

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I am glad you've asked the question because this has just been on my mind lately.<br><br>
Instinctually I am not comfortable with the idea of paying for chores. It goes against the idea that we are all a family together and everyone pitches in and works together for our home.<br><br>
However...<br>
I do want my daughter to eventually get an allowance (she's just 5 now) and I am not happy with just handing over money. I really want her to understand that money comes to you because you work for it. Not to mention the lesson of handling money and the reality that once it's spent it's gone until you make some more.<br><br>
What to do?
 

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I pay for chores that are "above and beyond" the kids' normal workload. I'm not going to pay them to make their own bed, clear their dishes, clean the playroom, etc. I may pay them for helping a lot with younger siblings, "babysitting" while I get stuff done, doing deep cleaning in the house, etc.
 

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We do not pay for chores. We all live in our house, and we are all responsible for doing the things we need to do to make it run and keep it tidy.<br><br>
We don't do any kind of allowance. So far, DSD is the only one worried about making money for things. She has come up with ways to earn it by doing things for neighbors or selling lemonade or donuts in the neighborhood. I will purchase the supplies, and she reimburses me the cost. She keeps the profit. One morning or afternoon of it is good for $15. She is really motivated by this because she has control over it. kwim
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
great viewpoints. I have leaned more to the side of not paying for chores because a family should work together to keep house clean. I do like the idea of paying them for work above and beyond and I will still give them a small allowance. Now my question is what to treat as above and beyond their normal workload? Up to know the chore schedule has looked something like this.<br><br>
Making their beds, keeping their room and playroom neat is not a chore. It's just something that has to be done. Period.<br><br>
I had age appropriate chore lists that they could choose from and the number of chores they picked was half of what their age was. So my 6 y.o. would pick 3 chores for example.<br><br>
Chores to pick from were sweeping under the kitchen table, emptying dishwasher, emptying wastebaskets and refilling T.P. in the bathrooms, wiping down table after meals, setting the table, sorting clothes for washing, and things of that sort. My oldest barely turned 8 so they're too young for cleaning bathrooms, washing dishes and that sort of thing. Extra money could be earned for the deeper cleaning type stuff. Wiping down walls, cleaning baseboards, doorways, etc.<br><br>
I'm thinking that I should keep their amount of chores the same and have them be what they should do to help around the house. If I started treating those things as above and beyond, they would think they were on vacation! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> And that the same extra chores can be extra money on top of their regular allowance.<br><br>
How does this new plan look?
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Hannahsmummy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11562909"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I do want my daughter to eventually get an allowance (she's just 5 now) and I am not happy with just handing over money. I really want her to understand that money comes to you because you work for it. Not to mention the lesson of handling money and the reality that once it's spent it's gone until you make some more.<br><br>
What to do?</div>
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This is the reason that I want my kids to get a small allowance. They have so much stuff already that closets are overflowing, rooms are overflowing, and they don't always show that they appriciate all they have. So to curb that overindulgence, I want them to start buying their own toys/wants, when it's not a set time for mommy and daddy to buy them stuff. Maybe if they buy it with thier own money it will be worth more to them, and they will learn the valuable money lessons. Saving for what One wants, and also, that if you blow your money every time you have a teeny little bit, you won't have money for something you really want. It kills me to see them putting their quarters into the junk toy machines at the supermarket, but I know I need to let them learn on their own. It's their money. So money spending decisions need to be done by them.<br><br>
Maybe you can pay for above and beyond chores? Then you wouldn't be giving her money for 'nothing'. Although, if you did give her just a little, maybe you could more quickly show her how to save some of it! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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I think we've decided to do a small allowance to practice money management and then payment for above and beyond chores. With this will also come a system of three banks - one for saving, one for spending, and one for donating. I feel very strongly that kids need to be actively taught money management skills and have their own bit of cash to practice those skills. dh and I are debating how to make the difference between savings and spending tangible for dd's age level. Like, should the savings account be for some nebulous distant unthought of item/experience? Or a toy/activity that she picks out and works toward? So lots of details to figure out. If anyone has any book recommendations I would love to hear them.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ccasanova</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11563667"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Chores to pick from were sweeping under the kitchen table, emptying dishwasher, emptying wastebaskets and refilling T.P. in the bathrooms, wiping down table after meals, setting the table, sorting clothes for washing, and things of that sort. My oldest barely turned 8 so they're too young for cleaning bathrooms, washing dishes and that sort of thing. Extra money could be earned for the deeper cleaning type stuff. Wiping down walls, cleaning baseboards, doorways, etc.</div>
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I think your plan looks great, ccasanova! My DD gets an allowance "just because" to teach her money management. We all work together to keep the house tidy, then I have "above and beyond" chores she can do if she wants to earn more money. Things like washing the low kitchen cabinets/dishwasher front, etc. These are things that might normally be my jobs, but that are age-appropriate and safe for her to do. It's a win-win for everyone, IMO.
 

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We're working our way through this now. We don't pay for chores, but if he asks for a job where he can make some money, that's beyond his normal chores, we'll find him something.
 

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We pay DD for superfluous chores, meaning it isn't something she HAS to do like putting her cereal bowl in the kitchen. I don't give her an allowance though. I don't like the concept of being given money just because. I don't get money just because I have to work for it. I don't care if other people do I just have a hard time with that one.
 

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I'm not big on the giving money for chores...an allowance, ok, but chores? No. UNless it's above and beyond, like a pp mentioned.<br><br>
I know a family who pays their 17 year old niece for everything....and it's 50 bucks! To clean the house, take out the trash, to do anything she gets paid. IT's a warped family anyway (outside of this) but no thanks...chores are part of living in a family.
 

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I agree with everyone else. Our children receive an allowance (smaller for 7 year old, larger for 15 and 17 year olds, but not outrageous by any means). This is not tied to chores, and purpose is to teach money management and to get kids to learn to save for things they want and budget money for activities/extra clothes/toys, etc., instead of us doling out $ each time every time. The kids are all expected to do age appropriate chores to help out around the house because we are all a family. The older girls get restricted from activities until these are complete if necessary.<br><br>
The older ones do have opportunities to earn extra money for above and beyond things. I am starting the younger one on divvying up the allowance into save, spend, give, but we didn't do this so well with the older girls, although they do an okay job of it themselves.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Hannahsmummy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11562909"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">However...<br>
I do want my daughter to eventually get an allowance (she's just 5 now) and I am not happy with just handing over money. I really want her to understand that money comes to you because you work for it. Not to mention the lesson of handling money and the reality that once it's spent it's gone until you make some more.</div>
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I have struggled with this issue as well. I won't pay for everyday chores for the reasons already mentioned - it's part of family life. (Another big issue for me, which is why I won't pay for grades, is that by setting up a "chores for pay" system, I have to be okay with my children refusing to do anything because they don't want the money.)<br><br>
I do think that the purpose of an allowance, which is the way we're leaning, is that it gives children money with which to budget. We can use small amounts to teach them about charity, saving, and spending. Although we do a lot of charity work as a family, they cannot understand the financial decision-making that goes into that, and I think their own money is important for that.<br><br>
The other thing for me is that ultimately we *do* hand over money without the children having done anything to "earn" it. We not only provide the basics but provide beyond in terms of a larger house than is absolutely necessary and more clothing and other items. We're not overindulgent, but the kids could survive on less.<br><br>
Plus in the future, we intend to buy cars for them and to pay for college. While obviously there are expected behaviors that go along with those funds, they're not "doing" anything really for us to pay for college. If they go to college, we'll pay for it - end of story. There's nothing really attached to that, so I try to think of the allowance in that way as well. We're providing the financial resources for our children to grow up to be productive, successful adults, and part of that is personal money management.
 

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We do not pay for standard chores. We have taught our children that everyone is responsible for the mess and everyone is responsible for the cleanup. So standard things like cleaning your room, clearing the table, general picking up after yourself are not paid jobs. If you go above and beyond you will get a couple of dollars. An example of above and beyond-we had a barbecue and the outdoor furniture needed to be cleaned. I paid the kids for cleaning all the chairs.
 
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