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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So DS is 3,5 and has been going to Montessori PK now for about 6 weeks. Those 6 weeks has been GREAT. He LOVES it and would never skip a day. Then, 2 weeks ago he had an accident there and peed his pants - he is VERY sensitive child and he was really embarrased about it, but we've been told they helped him in a very loving way to get over it. Next day my neighbour was picking him up (her DD goes there with my DS - it's his best friend) because we were gone and weren't gonna make it back on time. When we picked him up that afternoon from our neighboughr she said he was crying at school and saying he missed me. We all agreed it was because he knew I was not gonna pick him up.This was Friday, ok. Everything was fine till Monday when I woke him up to go to school and he was all unhappy, "upside-down" smile, worrying if I was gonna take him to school or daddy? So I took him there, but as soon as we got in, he'd start crying that he wanted to stay with me. So after about 10 minutes or trying to persuide him that it was ok, I took him back home. Next morning he woke up trowing up. So, I thought he was sick. Threw up couple more times that day, had a diarhea (sp?) , next day pretty high fever, stayed home obviouslly. Friday was good so daddy took him to school in the morning. 30 minutes later he returned with him back home and said he was crying. But he said the teacher told him that by doing this we are giving him message that it's ok not to go to school. So I got up and took him to school - that same day. He was SCREAMING, but I still left him there. Teacher had to hold him from coming to me. Let's just say I felt like s**t all day. Picked him up in the afternoon, and teacher said he was really clingy to her all day but eventually got over it.<br>
That was on Friday. Today is Sunday night and I told him that he'll go to school tomorrow and started to cry saying he does not wanna go. I asked him why and he said he is missing me there.<br>
He spent ALL day today playing with the neighbour girl - which I hoped would helped him get excited about seeing her at school tomorrow again. but I was wrong. I can already see how he is going to be sick tomorrow morning. His mind is very powerful and he has very strong enxiety about this whole school thing and is not having digestive problems - diarhea, tummy aches, cramping....<br>
I know he will cry in the morning. Should I even bother to torture him and trying to take him there in the morning? It's a full time OK. 4 hours every day.<br>
I can't do this to him! He's been with me for 3,5 years, EVERY DAY of his life. Yes, first 6 weeks has been good but I think it's only natural that all of a sudden he realized he really misses me. I can't take that away from him. He loves me and wants to be with him.<br><br>
Another factor is that he has only 2 weeks left at school - then we are flying to Europe for 5 weeks so he will go back to school after summer.<br>
I am really considering not even paying for May tomorrow and withdraw him and just have him start over in the fall. I am sure he'll feel better about it than.<br>
My life does not depend on his PK. I don't work, I can have him home. What do you think I should do? What would YOU do?<br>
Please help, I need to make a decision till tomorrow morning.....
 

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If it were me I wouldnt make him go. I cant even imagine my dd or ds screaming for me and someone holding them back. I would give him this break and then next year I bet he will be raring to go.<br><br>
Me for example my mom was going to send me to K but I did not want to go, crying, begging etc. So she held me out and when I went on to first grade the next year I did great. Never missed unless I was sick and loved going.<br><br>
I dont think that by following him on this you are going to mess him up. He is only 3.5 yo IMHO to young to go unless he loves it and right now he is not loving it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MCatLvrMom2A&X</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7989547"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">If it were me I wouldnt make him go. I cant even imagine my dd or ds screaming for me and someone holding them back. I would give him this break and then next year I bet he will be raring to go.<br><br>
Me for example my mom was going to send me to K but I did not want to go, crying, begging etc. So she held me out and when I went on to first grade the next year I did great. Never missed unless I was sick and loved going.<br><br>
I dont think that by following him on this you are going to mess him up. He is only 3.5 yo IMHO to young to go unless he loves it and right now he is not loving it.</div>
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Exactly, thank you for your opinion. I told my DH that I don't want him to have the school connected with crying and being sad. It's not worth it. He'll NEVER wanna go if we try to break him this way. It's just stupid. DH is worried he'll never "learn" to go to school if we do it "his" way. But I said, he's only 3,5 and that's how he feels right now, does not mean he's gonna feel that way in 5 months.
 

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Exactly. You can spend the next few months talking to him about how exciting school is and seeing all his friends and learning stuff and building things up for him. I bet he will do much better next year.<br><br>
You could make him go of course but like you said that will not teach him to want to go it wil make him resent it even more and also teach him that he should do things that make him unhappy. (course we do sometimes but at his age it isnt the best thing to learn that IMHO) not on something that isnt 100% neccissary.
 

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IMHO, he's better off staying home with you for now. He will likely mature quite a lot in the next few months. Learning is best when it's fun. To make him go against his will at such a young age seems like setting him up for future schooling issues, esp. since he's a very sensitive child. Trust your instincts.
 

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I would follow your instincts. If it was my child...I would not ever force their seperation from me if they are showing distress especially physical symptoms related to their emotional state. The throwing up/illness is a big indicator that something isn't right. 3.5 is *so* very young. Him not wanting to go to pk is no indicator that he won't want to school when he's older.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thank you all. I will keep him home. If that's what makes him happy <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 
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