Mothering Forum banner

1 - 10 of 10 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
473 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Well, another story about Mommy Wars (SAHMS vs. working out of the house for monetary gain (since I work inside the house unpaid) Mothers). Another book out, entitled Mommy Wars (did see it in the book section of Costco, might consider buying it).<br><br>
But this time, one of the ladies said that maybe we should just be nice to each other/help each other. What a novel idea! I never thought that bad-mouthing others (for their choices) is a great idea. I know some mothers who have to work to support their family (you know, second wifes, debt, etc), I actually don't know anyone who just wants to work to fulfill herself (maybe I move in the wrong circles?). And I am well aware that I am a lucky one (hubby makes enough money to support us, if we make a few economies around the house).<br><br>
What really shocked me was that at the bottom of the screen there was this short info: 3% of women get paid maternity leave (well, I sure was not one of them). Sorry, but I am from Germany and I am still amazed at this...<br><br>
That 70 % of women with children under 18 work outside the home, well, that's normal, once the children are older, I'll do it too. My Mom started working when I was 11 (sister 14), and she worked 3 days a week. I think that sounds reasonable (at least for me). <span style="text-decoration:underline;"><i>So, does anyone know how many women with children under let's say 6 years work?</i></span> Considering that kids in the US go to school almost all day, I can understand if a woman would like to work a little (not that we sit around eating bonbons/chocolate/etc. and watch Oprah and Dr. Phil all day).
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
10,793 Posts
I am watching right now.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,493 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Christine&men</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Wetc), I actually don't know anyone who just wants to work to fulfill herself (maybe I move in the wrong circles?).</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<br>
I do. But those are the few women I know with jobs that even some of the full time SOHM's I know who have NO desire to work and are not bored or envious at all ackowledge they would be tempted to keep working with. They are all either in the medical field or the entertianment field<br><br>
They are:<br><br>
1. Pediatrician<br><br>
2. A Producer on the Oprah Winfrey Show<br><br>
3. Radiologist (she works ONE day a week and earns more than $50,000 a year to boot)<br><br>
4. Research Scientist at a Children's Hospital working on cures for childhood brain tumors<br><br>
5. Writer for Television show<br><br>
6. Actress in Equity Theater Productions
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,824 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Christine&men</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I actually don't know anyone who just wants to work to fulfill herself (maybe I move in the wrong circles?).</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I do. In fact, I would LOVE to keep working after I have kids. It KILLS me that my profession is fulltime or nothing. I would love to work in my profession part-time while raising kids, but it isn't a possibility (nor can I reenter my profession if I take any time off). So I become a fulltime sahm.<br><br>
Faced with that choice - do work you love while raising kids, give up work you love forever to raise kids, many women are going to make the opposite choice that I am making. They will choose to keep working. Which, IMO, is good for them and their kids <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> It just isn't teh kind of mother I want to be.<br><br>
I don't know how many women keep working while their kids are young. All the mothers know kept working - they and their husbands killed themselves to work out a schedule where one parent was home at all times or they had a grandmother or trusted babysitter at home when they went to work. I don't know any babies that went into daycare settings - people worked something out (ususally with a bit of duck tape and string<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> ). Work structures NEED to change; it can't go on like this.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,099 Posts
To answer your question I think I read that 50% of moms of kids under 5 stay home (don't hold me to that).<br><br><br>
It's depressing that only 3% get paid leave, I sure didn't.<br><br>
I think the Today Show one was much better than GMA. I like how they talked about putting others down to justify our own choices, sad that we have to put each other down. But it did make sense as to why we all feel we need to "fight the war". I did like how they kept bringing up choice.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,272 Posts
As far as statistics about moms who work and have children under age six, I think there are a lot of misleading statistics out there. Since any paid work at all "counts", there are a lot of part-time working moms who are counted as WOH even though they spend the majority of time SAH. For example, I used to work six hours a week, on Sunday, and my husband took care of our son. I was also welcome to bring him to work with me if I preferred. So, according to labor statistics, I was a WOHM, even though I was actually much more of a SAHM.<br><br>
I think I read once that a large portion of women with young children work part-time, and they often feel like they are not-quite WOHMs and not quite SAHMs. I think this is good evidence toward the idea that the WOH/SAH mommy wars are largely manufactured, as there is an expectation for mothers to choose their "side", even to the point that women who don't fit neatly into a "camp" (say, a mother who works half-days twice a week while her mother cares for her children, and all day Saturday while her husband is home with the children) feel the pressure to identify with one side or the other. And often these fence-sitting mamas are the invisible majority.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,450 Posts
I think a lot of this also depends on where you live and how expensive it is. In my area, a lot of moms work because housing is expensive. Also, it depends on what kind of lifestyle you want. I know some moms who went back to work after baby because they could not imagine living on one salary and having to limit their spending. They want the new car every few years, the big house, the overseas vacations, the possibility of private schools if public schools are bad. It is a lifestyle choice for some. Not many, but some. Most of us, working or staying home or working at home, are just getting by.<br><br>
But, you know what this "mommy war" thing reminds me of? It reminds me of discussions I've had with my mil about organic foods. She just thinks it is ridiculous for us to "waste money" on organic foods. There is nothing wrong with the other foods, she thinks. My kids are healthy, she says, I've lived a long life. She even makes fun of our preference. It is like the "mommy war" in that she is defensive about her choice because it is the opposite of ours. In order for her to feel her choice is right, she has to mock ours. The "mommy war" is the same; women are putting down the moms who are living a life the opposite of their own. They are acting defensively. Some moms just are not comfortable letting other moms make life decisions that are polar opposites of their own.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
682 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>boongirl</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">\<br>
But, you know what this "mommy war" thing reminds me of? It reminds me of discussions I've had with my mil about organic foods. She just thinks it is ridiculous for us to "waste money" on organic foods. There is nothing wrong with the other foods, she thinks. My kids are healthy, she says, I've lived a long life. She even makes fun of our preference. It is like the "mommy war" in that she is defensive about her choice because it is the opposite of ours. In order for her to feel her choice is right, she has to mock ours. The "mommy war" is the same; women are putting down the moms who are living a life the opposite of their own. They are acting defensively. Some moms just are not comfortable letting other moms make life decisions that are polar opposites of their own.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nod.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nod"> People still think that, in order for them to be right, someone else has to be wrong.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
612 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Christine&men</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I actually don't know anyone who just wants to work to fulfill herself (maybe I move in the wrong circles?).</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I don't either.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,838 Posts
I worked to fulfill myself from about the time my babe was 18 months old. I had to quit my job because of hyperemisis though.<br><br>
We get paid maternity leave in Canada for a year.
 
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
Top